Stitches
by Superstar120301
Summary: Santana and Brittany have been best friends for years, but sometimes things don't always go the way people plan, and sometimes feelings change. Their second year McKinley is supposed to be their best, but for one of them, it turns out to be their worst.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N **hey guys, so this is my first time writing a fanfic and actually posting it. I've written stories before but never really put them out there so i hope my first time is okay. This story is set in season 2 of glee, because i had a alot of ideas regarding the storyline and how it could go. It's mostly canon but it goes AU in some places. So yeah i hope you enjoy it !**_

 ** _SUMMARY: Santana and Brittany have been best friends for years, but sometimes things don't always go the way people plan, and sometimes feelings change. Their second year McKinley is supposed to be their best, but for one of them, it turns out to be their worst._**

* * *

Lima, Ohio was a small town. Not just in size, but in mindset as well. News and gossip travelled like wildfire, and was forgotten just as fast. Being different was unheard of, and even if you were different, you'd be too scared to show it. It wasn't uncommon for someone to walk down the street while off on the side someone else was whispering away about what they heard about that person. Lima wasn't a tourist hot spot, that's for sure. Unless you were born in the town, there was no way anyone would choose Lima as their dream destination. Nothing about the town was eye catching, in fact the only fun you could have was on a Saturday night, at a house party, getting fucked up on alcohol. Nothing said Lima like the screaming silence of the entire town as it wallowed in its boredom. Still, it was a fairly nice town, and you could have fun if you wanted to.

In the nicer, fancier neighborhood of the town, Santana Lopez sat by her window, staring into the evening sky. This was one of her favourite things to do, watching the sky as at its prettiest was soothing for her, noting how the colours in the sky were a mix of light pale blue with tinges of darker blue in some areas. The sun was on the horizon, something she could see from her massive upstairs bedroom window. She looked down from the view of the sky, blinking away the stinging feeling in her eyes that came about from lack of blinking. She studied her front yard, tall trees and perfectly manicured bushes littered her yard in the prettiest of ways. She looked down at the empty drive way, and then out onto the street. She listened to the silence of the neighborhood, silently hoping that a car, specifically one of her parents, would come. It wasn't weird that Santana was alone in her way too big house; actually it would've been weirder if she wasn't alone. Given that her mother was a lawyer, and her dad a doctor, meant that she barely had family time. If hadn't spent years blocking out the feeling, she would have be overcome by the overwhelming sense of loneliness each night she came home to an empty house brought. Still, her parents made up for lack of love with lavish gifts and freedom to do as she liked, so long as it wasn't dangerous.

Santana sighed, she knew her parents wouldn't be home any time soon, so she heaved herself away from her window and fell onto her messy, undone bed. She started at the perfectly painted ceiling, her stomach churning at the thought of having to go back to school after her break ended. Not that she wasn't a perfect A student, her dread for school stemmed from her growing weary of having to pretend that she's cold and hard so that everyone would be too scared to start shit with her or rival her. Last year was oddly okay for her, aside from her crippling insecurity issues that arose after she was forced to join glee club, nothing screamed 'cool' more than singing in show choir competitions. Though she would never admit it, glee club was something she cherished, so when they didn't win at regionals, she felt an overwhelming sense of sadness wash over her. That was soon gone the moment her glee club teacher, Mr Schue, announced that they had another year worth. She was ecstatic, even going so far as to jump into her best friend's, Brittany, arms.

Brittany. Santana's mouth subconsciously curled into a small smile at the thought of her bubbly friend. She was everything Santana wasn't, brave, light hearted, incredibly nice, sweet. She saw the best in everyone. It frustrated Santana to know that not everyone saw the best in her, not every saw how amazing Brittany was. She thought back to the various sweet moments they both shared, her favourite memory danced across her mind, despite it being one of the worst days of her life, she associated it with a good memory, all because of Brittany...

* * *

 _FLASH BACK_

 _Santana drove home from school, her smile growing at the thought of being at home with her parents for once. She loved her birthdays, it was the only time she was guaranteed both of her parents would be home at the same time as her. She knew that they loved her more than anything else, but love wasn't going to give her a secure life, their jobs were. And though Santana understood that, she hated the fact that they wanted her to have a good childhood, but thought the only way to do that was through money and not love, as if money could make up for having to practically live by herself and for the slight abandonment issues Santana sometimes felt. Still, her birthday was her favourite day of the year, and not because it signified her getting older, but because it was one day she actually felt apart of a family for once, not a detached teenager living in someones grand home._

 _She pulled into her street and wonder what her mum was cooking for her grand birthday dinner, she loved it when her mum and dad went full out with the dinner and cakes and celebration, even if it was just the three of them. She saw her house come into view and smiled broadly, but the feeling vanished as soon as she saw her houses driveway, empty. Her face fell and she frowned, swallowing the lump in her throat she didn't even know formed. Maybe they got a cab home? Santana almost wanted to laugh at the thought, why would they take a cab home, they hated the thought of paying money for something they could do themselves._

 _She parked her car in the ample space her parents car left unoccupied and walked up the driveway. Her happy demeanor fading with every step she walked towards the obviously empty house. She took a deep breath before pushing her key into the lock and opening the door, she was greeted by the empty silence that she was so used to, only this time it broke her heart. This was the first time she learned never to get her hopes up for anything, because even your parents can disappoint you. She walked into the kitchen, some part of her hoping that her parents would pop up and surprise her, but she knew better than that. She picked up her phone and dialed her mums number first, maybe she got held up at the store? The line connected and she heard her mother speak_

 _'hello?' Maribel said, sounding rushed_

 _'hi mum' Santana said, silently praying her voice wouldn't crack and reveal her sadness_

 _'Oh mija, is everything okay? You usually don't call me during work' work? Santana frowned_

 _'You're at work? Today?' she said, anger starting to lace her voice_

 _'Yes? Didn't your father and i tell you? We're working late tonight, if you're hungry just use one of our cards to order food'_

 _Santana swallowed the acid running up the throat, of course they forgot, because work is so much more important Santana thought bitterly._

 _'Oh, right, i must have forgotten. Well I'll let you get back to your case, obviously it's more important' Santana spat_

 _'Mija, is everything okay? Why do you sound so angry? What do you mean more important? More important than what?'_

 _'Nevermind, I'm sorry, i got to go, bye mum' she said dejectedly, before hanging up._

 _Santana slumped against the kitchen counter, feeling a few tears roll down her cheeks. She wiped them away quickly before bolting upstairs into her room and burying herself under her covers, sobbing heavily into them. She heard the ringing of the phone, which she still gripped tightly in her hand. She screamed angrily before throwing it across the room, not bothering to look at who was calling. It was probably her dad, no doubt hearing from her mother that she was upset, wanting to know what was upsetting her. She heard the phone crack on the ground, but didn't look up from her pillow to survey the damage. She cried into her pillow for a good 10 minutes before she heard a knock on her window. Her head immediately whipped up, and she looked over at the window, like she done so many times in her life when she heard the knocking. There was only one person who was crazy enough to climb the tree near her upstairs window and climb through it. Brittany. Santana sat up as she heard Brittany step into the room from the window seal._

 _' Hey san, i came over to say happy birthday again, even though i said it at school like 100 times' she said softly,' but then i saw your parents car wasn't here, but yours was. I tried calling you but you didn't answer'_

 _'Sorry' was all Santana said, meekly._

 _Brittany looked at Santana, taking in her messy hair and puffy eyes, tear streaks embedded onto her cheeks. Santana didn't say anything, but her eyes drifted to the floor where her phone lay smashed. Brittany followed her line of vision and saw the damaged phone. She frowned before sitting down next to Santana quickly, she grabbed her friend and pulled her into a tight hug, letting her cry against her chest. Heaving sobs, Santana managed to choke out, 't-they forg-ot Br-Britt, i'm s-so stup-pid'. Brittany frowned, she pulled away from Santana, 'no San, you aren't. Don't ever say that again. You shouldn't feel stupid, they should. They are the ones who forgot. You're perfect San, everyone knows that, especially me. You're literally god send, if you weren't do you think i'd still be your best friend?' she said gently,' just because they aren't here for your birthday, doesn't mean I'm not either.' Brittany got up and walked over to the desk, she pulled out her phone and plugged it into the dock and played a song. The music flowed through the speaker and cut through the silence of the room, Santana snorted when she heard the song. A smile forming on her lips._

 _ **You got it, what I won't**_  
 _ **Give it up, shorty**_  
 _ **Step it up, for me**_  
 _ **and I'll give you everything**_  
 _ **All my life, All my love**_  
 _ **I give you my fortune and fame**_  
 _ **I'll even give you my name**_

 _ **Girl you take me higher**_  
 _ **Than I've ever been before**_  
 _ **My feet don't touch the floor**_  
 _ **Fly**_  
 _ **The sky's the limit**_  
 _ **The sky's the limit**_  
 _ **Girl you take me**_

 _ **Up Up Up Up Up Up Up Up**_

 _ **Girl you take me up**_  
 _ **Girl You take me higher**_  
 _ **The sky's the limit**_  
 _ **The sky's the limit**_

 _Brittany belted out the lyrics and pulled her up by the hands, swinging their arms while laughing. Santana was grinning by now, laughing along while dancing around with Brittany. The song ended and they put one after the other, dancing and singing until it was like Santana wasn't crying her heart out a few hours ago. They even jumped into Santana's car and drove down to Breadstix, ordering every cake on the menu and then sending it all back because, as Brittany deadpanned "there was a mouse in mine."_

* * *

A smile danced at her lips while she remembered that night, and how sweet Brittany was to her. She wondered where Brittany was, and what she was doing. She knew she could easily go over to her house, given that her best friend lived only six houses down, at the end of the street. Still, she didn't want to go over without confirmation first, and right now her phone was way too far away for her to get up and go to it. Then again, Santana would go to the ends of the earth for Brittany, so she got up and walked over to her desk, where her phone sat perched. She picked it up and typed out a quick message to Brittany, asking her if she could come over.

* * *

 _A/N_ ** _this chapter is short because its just a sort of introductory one, but they will get longer! Oh also i live in Australia so my spelling might be different so i hope it isnt too confusing._**

 ** _Song used was Sky's the Limit by Jason Derulo_**


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N_ _ **yay chapter two ! Like i said before the first few chapters are going to be short since i don't want to drag out the introduction, also because i have trouble writing long long paragraphs if its just based on a small idea, so don't worry the chapters will get longer.**_

* * *

Six houses down the same elegant street, Brittany lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling, thinking deeply about what the new school year would bring. She loved school, and all it stood for, even when it had a serious bullying and violence issue , even when rumours tore apart friendships every second day. High school kids were vicious, they would do anything to stay on top, and they didn't have a problem taking down anyone to solidify their placement in the school, the glee club was living proof of that. The kids in the club were regular victims of slushy attacks; it wasn't uncommon to see one or two of them en route to the nearest bathroom with an icy coloured drink slipping down their faces. Brittany cringed at the thought, she was a part of glee club as well, but slushy attacks didn't come her way, probably because she was a cheerio. She wondered if maybe this year, everyone grew a heart, she doubted it though, but then again, the most cold and vicious people could have the sweetest hearts.

Her best friend, Santana Lopez, was a prime example. Sure, to the outsides view, she was cold, tough, mean, everything Brittany wasn't. How they could be best friends was baffling in some people's view. But Brittany knew Santana in a way no one else did, she knew how caring she could really be. Like that time Brittany overheard a fellow cheerio calling her stupid in the change rooms. Brittany was used to it, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. She must have had a bad day, because soon enough her eyes were welling with tears and she was shoving her stuff into her bag and sprinting to the door. All while hearing Santana launch an incredibly vicious verbal assault against the offending cheerio.

* * *

 _FLASH BACK_

 _Brittany shoved her drink bottle into her bag, her eyes stinging with tears. Why couldn't she go a day without someone whispering about how she wasn't the smartest. Today wasn't an exception, she had heard that word aimed at her a total of four times today, and now it had become five. She saw Santana whip around and face the cheerio who had called her best friend stupid, she narrowed her eyes, burning with rage, barely noticing Brittany call out her name._

 _'What. Did. You. Just. Say. Puta? ' Santana sneered, walking slowly over to the red head cheerio, who was now wide eyed and backing slowly away_

 _'I-I-uh-' she spluttered_

 _'Listening her fire bush, i know i didn't just her you call her stupid, and if i did then i must be hallucinating because i can't imagine anyone wanting to get their eyebrows shaved off, and given a new hairstyle,' she turned to Quinn, who was leaning up against her locker, smirking,'I'm thinking mohawk, wait, maybe not, puck might actually think you're his twin or something, cause you sure got the shoulders and adams apple to prove it'_

 _Quinn snorted loudly, while the red head just looked around, scared for her life. Commence the onslaught of insults and threats. Brittany saw everyone looking at them, so she raced out the door. Santana waved her arms wildly about, yelling how the girl was a second away from having her foot shoved so hard up her mouth since she loved running it so much. This continued for a good 3 minutes before Santana actually tried to punch the girl, and by that time Quinn was dragging her out of the locker room, screaming spanish and all._

 _Later that day, Santana came over to Brittany's house, having being too busy slashing down the cheerio to chase after her best friend. In her arms she held a plush duck toy, a bunch of movies, and a smile so genuinely sweet it gave her cavities. They watched the movies until she fell asleep, and right before she did she heard Santana tell her that she was the smartest person that she'd ever met._

* * *

Brittany smiled fondly at the memory, if she wasn't crying so much that day, she would've have laughed at how fast she changed from frightening angry to incredibly sweet.

Brittany was pulled out of her deep thought by the beeping of her phone, signalling a new message. She felt around the bedside table blindly for her phone, accidentally knocking off her alarm clock. She stared down at the clock for a second, wondering if it got hurt, before another beeping came from her phone. She grabbed it and looked at who it came from; smiling broadly when her best friends name came up on view.

 _From Santanerd: Hey Britt, you mind if I come over? I'm so bored I might actually start cleaning._

Brittany laughed at the text, then she laughed at the nick name she gave Santana on her phone. It came about after Brittany came over to her house one day to find her wearing glasses and reading a large text book. Brittany thought she looked cute but Santana was so flustered she ripped off the glasses and put them into her lap so fast she ended up accidentally punching her stomach a little. Brittany cried with laughter and changed her contact name through tears.

 _From Santanerd: I can't wait for an answer I'm coming over, see you in a bit britty boo._

She rolled her eyes, Santana was never one for patience. Sure enough, a few seconds later there was a knock on her window.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N **Super chapter 3! This is sort of a filler chapter i suppose, I'm still trying to build up to the story line, I'm skipping some of the canon stuff since in the long run it won't fit into my story but it's not that drastic i guess. Anyway enjoy !**_

* * *

Brittany moved across her room to the window, her smile growing as her best friend came into view. She quickly opened the window and pulled Santana into a tight hug, which the other girl gladly reciprocated. Santana inhaled deeply, breathing in the scent she had grown to love so much. They broke apart from the hug and smiled at each other, both grinning uncontrollably.

"You know you could just use the front door, I mean this is basically your second home" Brittany said

"Yeah, but where's the fun in that? My day isn't complete if I'm not climbing up the tree to your window, Tarzan style"

Brittany laughed, and Santana smiled softly. Making her laugh was one of Santana's greatest accomplishments. Brittany had a smile so pure and sweet that it warmed Santana's heart to know that she was the cause of it.

"I missed you so much San" the blonde pouted

"Britt, we saw each other yesterday" Santana smiled, one eye brow raised

"Yeah but still…"

Santana laughed and shook her head, "I missed you too Britt-Britt" she said before pulling her in for a kiss. Yes, a kiss. Brittany and Santana had an odd relationship. Sure, they were closer than your average run of the mill best friends, and sure, they spent a little too much time together. But that wasn't any reason why they couldn't be intimate with each other; I mean that's what best friends do, right? At least that's what Santana had convinced Brittany to believe.

* * *

 _FLASH BACK_

 _Santana and Brittany were sitting opposite each other on Santana's bedroom floor. They had text books sprawled across the floor and were doing the days homework._

 _"I'm bored" Santana said, cutting through the silence that fell on the room. It sounded weird to hear noise when they had been sitting in silence for the past hour, doing nothing but scribbling equations and doing text book questions._

 _Brittany looked up from her history textbook, "It's been like an hour, you got some serious restlessness issues. " she said, "but so am I, what are you up to?"_

 _"I'm pretty much done; this shit is so boring I'm pretty sure my pencil fell asleep"_

 _Brittany eyed her quizzically," pencils can fall asleep? Do you think pens could too? If they did do you think it would be called a penap? "_

 _"A pen what?" Santana said, trying to decipher what her friend had just theorized._

 _"A pen-nap, a penap", Brittany said happily, "besides, I don't think anything you do would be boring, you're like the funnest… no wait funniest, funnerest? Whatever doesn't matter, you're like the least boring person I know, and that includes my own reflection, cause you know, I'm so damn funny"._

 _Santana grinned, she loved it when Brittany complimented her, and it was one of those things that could warm up even the coldest of hearts. Before she knew what she was doing, she leaned over and gave Brittany a light kiss, so quick it barely counted as one. Both of them froze up, Brittany looking at Santana, and Santana looking everywhere but Brittany._

 _"Uhh, did you just kiss me? A ghost didn't push you right? Because I like kissing people but if there's a dead person in this room that's a little too kinky for my taste, "Brittany said, eyeing the room around her._

 _Santana looked at Brittany, trying to figure out what the fuck she just did. Did she really just kiss Brittany, her best friend, on the lips?_

 _"San?" Brittany said, breaking Santana out of her internal freak out. She knew Brittany wouldn't just drop it; she had to find a way to make this alright. What shocked her most wasn't the fact that she kissed her, well that was pretty shocking to her as well, but it was more of the fact that she actually enjoyed it, and kind of wanted more._

 _"Look Britt, I'm sorry I caught you off guard, I didn't mean too. But it didn't mean anything; I mean best friends kiss all the time. It's just for fun, like when there's no boy around, and you need to get your cuddle on, who's better than your best friend? You know what I mean?" Santana said, trying to sound as convincing as she could. She would never acknowledge the fact that the real reason she was trying so hard to convince Brittany it was okay was so that she could kiss her again. Brittany mulled over Santana's words for a while, before slowly nodding, "yeah I guess that does make sense", she said, giving an assuring nod. Santana silently sighed with relief._

 _They didn't kiss again until a month later, and by then both the girls didn't question it, they just let it happen. And soon kisses turned into make out sessions and they too turned into something more. But Santana made Brittany swear she wouldn't tell anyone, saying that people might get jealous of her, but Brittany knew the real reason behind it. Best friends weren't supposed to do that, Brittany never did those kinds of things with Quinn. She would never tell Santana that she knew the real reason though. She enjoyed the other girls company way too much to put an end to things, even after Santana told some of the glee kids during a group call that "sex is not dating" and Brittany had accidentally blurted out, "If it were, Santana and I would be dating"._

* * *

They pulled away from the kiss. Brittany smiled at her friend, before frowning and pouting a little.

"I don't want to go back to school, it's so not rad," Brittany said, smiling at her use of the new word she learnt from Lord Tubbington, she always knew he was one smart cat, even if he joined a gang and smoked cigarettes. Still, he was a cool cat; she just had to find a way to stop him from flicking a switch blade at her every time she tried to limit his food.

"Rad?" Santana said, questioning the word she never heard her friend use before. Brittany was about to answer before her stomach let out an insane grumble. Brittany's face flushed as she clutched her stomach, mentally reminding herself to chastise her stomach for doing that in front of someone.

Santana scrunched her face and let out a laugh, poking Brittany stomach, she asked "whens the last time you ate Britt?"

She thought about this for a second, before shrugging, "I can't remember, so that must be a bad sign. We should eat something" she said, before rubbing her belly, "it's time to get this tum tum a yum yum."

Santana let out a loud laugh, still amazed at how this one girl could make her go from feeling deathly bored a few hours ago to out of breath from laughing. She told Brittany to get shoes because they were going to the one place Santana loved more than life itself, Breadstix. They jumped into Santana's car, and drove off towards the restaurant. Santana was drumming her fingers on the steering wheel, anxiously waiting for the building to come into view so she could get her breadstick inhaling on, they were seriously the best thing in the world, and if anyone tried to tell her different she had no problem going ALL Lima Heights on their sorry asses. No one insults Breadstix, no one.

They were seated at the table the regularly sat at, both of them ordering the same thing. Santana was happily munching on breadsticks when she caught sight of another blonde standing at the entrance. Quinn. Brittany saw her too; she jumped up and waved Quinn over. After the whole baby fiasco she had encountered the year before, Brittany and Santana had spent extra time with her, making sure she wasn't alone after going through such a traumatic experience. Quinn didn't have to say it, but all three of them knew that she was incredibly grateful every time they dragged her to see a movie, or help shower Lord Tubbington, or let her cry into their arms until she forgot everything. The other blonde looked away from the hostess and saw Brittany frantically waving at her to join them. She smiled softly; how anyone could not love Brittany was baffling. She wondered why Brittany was alone, but she spoke too soon. As she got closer to the table she saw the Latina smiling at Brittany, both hands holding a breadstick.

Brittany pulled her into a tight hug, and Santana said hello through a mouthful of dough. Quinn would never say it out loud, but she knew that she was a third wheel in their friendship. Sure, all the girls were closer to each other in one way or another, like how Santana and Quinn had a straightforward friendship, and how her and Brittany had a loving one. Still, she knew that Santana and Brittany had a different kind of friendship, from the way Santana seemed to only look at Brittany in a room full of people was evidence enough. She never brought it up though; she knew if it came down to it, both girls would talk to her.

They talked about school, their opinions about the new school year. "I swear if RaPaul tries to talk to me again I'm going to stuff firecrackers into her locker, it's going to be finntastic." Santana said, waving her breadstick around. Quinn choked on her drink while Brittany patted her back. "Oh please, firecrackers? That's so freshman year, I'm thinking a chicken cutlet to the face would be better." Santana shrugged, maybe they'd do both.

The sun was had fully set by now, and it was significantly darker than it was when they had walked into the restaurant. Santana paid for their meal, saying that it was her treat. Quinn knew she did this because Brittany was here, and she'd do anything for Brittany. Quinn gave her a knowing smirk while Santana just narrowed her eyes at her. They got into their separate cars before speeding off in the opposite directions. She dropped Brittany off at her house, saying her parents would be home soon since today wasn't the busiest for them. Brittany leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek, thanking her for taking them to Breadstix. Santana couldn't contain her smile and she blushed wildly. "Goodnight San", Brittany said softly, before getting out the car. She was halfway to her door when she heard a knock come from Santana's car, she turned around and saw brunette making a love heart with her hand, before waving and then driving off. It was Brittany's turn to smile and blush, before she skipped to her bedroom and went to bed with a smile on her face, waiting for the next day to come so she could spend it with her best friend.

Santana drove home, a silly smile still plastered on her face. She walked through her front door, and into her kitchen, where her parents sat.

"Hello mami, Hello papi" she said, giving them a kiss on the cheek each.

"Hello mija, what's got you smiling like goofball?" her dad said, playfully narrowing his eyes at her," you weren't out with a boy, were you?"

Santana rolled her eyes and smiled," no papi, I was out with Brittany, I just dropped her home, I'm going to bed now I have school tomorrow, goodnight". Santana strolled upstairs.

Her parents watched her leave with a smile on their faces, they turned to each other, her father, Antonio, mouthed the word "Brittany?" with one eyebrow raised. Her mother smiled and nodded understandingly. Even If their daughter didn't know it yet, they had no doubt in their mind that Santana loved that girl more than anything. They wondered when she would finally realise it for herself.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N **yay for chapter 4! this chapter goes slightly AU but still stays canon. I might cut back my updates a little since school is really beating down on me :(( Anyway i hope you like the chapter, leave a review if you want anything specific to happen!**_

* * *

Morning came way too quickly for Santana. _How could have I slept for 10 hours and still feel how Rachel looks like- terrible,_ she thought to herself. She wasn't a morning person; in fact if someone knocked on her door at 7 am, they'd be met by one of two sights. First, would be her flinging the door open and berating you with so many insults it'd make a grown man cry. Second would be silence, Santana pretending not to hear the knocking, if she couldn't see the person then they weren't really there at all.

Her mood was further dampened when she heard her phone give off a loud, incessant ringing; jolting her out of the half-awake, half-asleep state she was in. She grabbed the phone and without looking at the caller, answered the phone, with some very grumpy words.

"Okay first of all I don't know what time it is, but I know that it is way too early for this bullshit and unless you want your phone shoved up your ass, you better not be a prank call cause you should know who I am and I _know_ you don't want none of this, "she said angrily, gesturing to herself even though the caller couldn't see her," so you have 3 seconds to tell me what you want before I track you down and go ALL Lima Heights on your early calling ass."

All she heard was giggling on the other end of the phone. She scowled into the phone, ready to give the caller a piece of her mind, when she recognised that giggling.

"Holy San, how did you manage to say that all in one breath? You aren't secretly Rachel are you? Cause that's some spooky stuff right there," Brittany laughed, and she paused, a horrifying thought dawning on her, "oh my god please don't tell me I've secretly been making out with her all this time."

Santana sat up straight and flushed, unable to form a coherent reply. "Oh my god Britt! I'm so sorry I didn't know that was you, I answered the phone without looking and- oh god I didn't hurt your feelings right? I didn't know I swear, you know how I get in the mornings and-and-"Santana rambled on. She was cut off by a loud laugh at the end of the other line.

"I'm going to stop you right there before you pass out from lack of oxygen cause of all that rambling." Brittany said, "Now can you open your window? I don't want splinters on my ass"

Santana shot out her bed and scrambled to the window, smiling at the sight of her best friend, perched on the thick branch that oddly enough was perfect for sneaking into her room. She opened the window up and pulled her friend through the threshold and into a hug. The force of the hug caused them to stumble a bit; Brittany laughed at her friend's enthusiasm and returned the hug. They pulled away and Santana saw that Brittany was wearing her cheerios uniform. She grimaced, one thing she was not looking forward to was the ever frightening Coach Sue. Last year she had been given the position of head cheerleader, thanks to Quinn's pregnancy. It was incredibly stressful and Santana was pretty sure she was in hell most of the time.

"What were you doing outside my window at," she looked at the bedside clock," 6:45 in the morning?"

Brittany merely shrugged and padded to Santana's bed, plopping down and smiling up at her. "I think the better question is, do you answer your phone like that all the time?" She said cheekily. Santana flushed again, rolling her eyes. She knew she wasn't going to get anymore sleep, so she headed to the bathroom to start getting ready.

20 minutes later, she walked out of the bathroom, make up flawless and her hair in a tight pony tail. "Why did you take so long in the bathroom? You didn't take a dump did you? Cause if so then awkward..." Brittany said, saying the last word in a sing song voice.

Santana laughed before replying, "No Britt I didn't take a dump, it takes time to get this hot bod ready" she flaunted, gesturing to her face. Brittany thought about her words for a moment, before nodding strongly.

"I agree, though you'll have a hot bod no matter what, trust me, I know." She said nonchalantly.

Santana felt a blush rising on her face so she whipped around and rummaged through her wardrobe under the pretence that she was looking for her cheerleading uniform. When she found it she quickly changed into it. She tugged at the itchy material. Not at all looking forward to being head cheerleader, wait scratch that, she wasn't anymore.

* * *

 _FLASH BACK_

 _Santana walked into the Fabray house hold. Quinn had called her earlier, wanting to talk about something, not telling her what though. "Quinn?" Santana called out," this better be good, I have to go meet with Brittany soon and I don't want to be late." Quinn walked out from the kitchen and rolled her eyes, "oh please, if you thought you were going to be late you would probably leave mid conversation" she retorted. Santana shrugged, she knew that was something she'd actually do._

 _"_ _Soo" Santana drawled out," what did you need to talk about"_

 _Quinn suddenly looked uneasy; Santana eyed her suspiciously with an eye brow raised. Santana knew whatever Quinn wanted was something that would upset her._

 _"_ _I kind of need a favour" Quinn said, biting her lip," iwanttobeheadcheerleaderagain"_

 _"_ _What?" Santana said, frowning at her friends rushed words_

 _Quin took a deep breath before speaking more slowly again "I want to be head cheerleader again" She said, continuing quickly when Santana opened her mouth to protest, " NO wait listen please, look, you of all people know how hard last year was for me, and these holidays haven't been any easier. I need to be on top again, I need to have control in my life. Please Santana I'm, begging you. I could've tried to go behind your back and gotten back my spot, but I didn't, that counts for something right?" She looked at her friend with hopeful eyes. Santana's scowl still remained plastered on her face._

 _"_ _Quinn, you know how much I lov- care about you" she said, momentarily covering up her slip. So what she had some slight issues when it came down to the L word, even if it was said platonically. "But I don't know if I can, I mean how would I even give it to you? It's not something I can just pass around like a joint."_

" _Santana, we both know that you hate being head cheerleader, let's face it, you're way too lazy for that, "she said, ignoring Santana's scowl," this will help both of us, you'll still be on the squad, but without the added stress, and we can both be on the top again. Come on, you'd do it for Britt if she asked." Quinn prayed that she would agree, even using Brittany against her._

 _Santana's resolve crumbled at the mention of her best friend's name. "I can't believe you just used the Britt card against me." Quinn just smiled hopefully._

 _"_ _So is that a yes?" Quinn said, holding her breath._

 _Santana rolled her eyes, before looking in her friend's eye. She saw how much Quinn wanted, no, needed this. She knew how damaged she was, and if this big, albeit useful favour would help her in anyway, Santana knew she couldn't refuse. Especially when Quinn was looking at her like she was Jesus. She nodded begrudgingly, before being engulfed in a bone crushing hug._

 _"_ _THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU" she squealed. Santana laughed before pushing Quinn off her_

 _"_ _Alright calm down, don't wet yourself," she said, before pausing, "do you actually know how you're going to get the head spot back?"_

 _Quinn smiled mischievously, "The cheerios need funding, and I know how to get it. If they see me on the squad, a teen mom, the churches will see the cheerios as a sponsor worthy squad." She said as if was a simple plan._

 _"_ _Okay… And how do you suppose we get Sue kick me out of head spot?" Santana said. She quirked an eyebrow when Quinn looked nervous again._

 _"_ _Well…" Quinn began_

 _"_ _Spit it out Fabray"_

 _Quinn bit her lip, "I have noticed your boobs have gotten bigger," she said, speaking quickly again when Santana dropped her jaw and looked at her in disbelief, shock, and a little bit of smugness. " I mean-well, I-, okay look if Sue thought you got some sort of, enhancements, she'd flip out and down grade you, not kick you off fully though."_

 _Santana was actually speechless. "You want me, Santana Lopez, to pretend to have had a boob job, so that you can get your spot back. Quinn, are you on fucking crack?" She said trying to process what Quinn had just said. Quinn nodded sheepishly._

 _"_ _Please? It would bring your rep up too?" Quinn said desperately, trying anything to get Santana to agree. Santana sighed, she already agreed to this, and she didn't want to see Quinn get disappointed when she looked so hopeful, it was almost as bad as Brittany. She rolled her eyes before throwing her hands in the air._

 _"_ _I guess!"She said, irritated, "one condition though, if you get to lie about my amazing boobs, I get to have a punch on with you, we have to sell it after all." Quinn looked momentarily shocked before agreeing to it grudgingly. They spent the rest of the day planning what they would both say at the throw down when school came back. Quinn wanted Santana to be relentless, so when Quinn told her what to say, it was an understatement to say that Santana was shocked. Even she, the queen of insults, couldn't bring herself to say it during their practice. Only when Quinn told her to stop being "fucking pussy" did she start spitting insults like she was on a mix tape._

* * *

 _Quinn is fucking insane_ , Santana thought. She bent down to dig around for her white sneakers. She turned back around to face Brittany, who whipped her face in the opposite direction. Santana smiled smugly, _she was totally checking me out_ , she thought. Brittany was staring out the window, her face heating up at almost being caught looking her best friends butt. It wasn't here fault it was all up in there. She looked back and saw Santana smiling smugly. _Shit shit shit shit,_ Brittany thought, panicking.

Santana ignored her friends flustered state, she looked at her clock. 7:30 AM, Santana scowled, how did time fly that quickly? She heard movement downstairs; she knew her parents were awake now.

"So, on a scale of 1 to 10, how excited are you to slap Quinn in the face?" Brittany said, trying to cover up her leering. After they had finished practicing what they were going to say, Santana rushed over to Brittany's house and told her all about it. It ended with Brittany laughing so hard she started crying.

"That is a 100% 10 out of 10", she said with a strong nod, "Rate my slap later on." Brittany winked at her, before grabbing her arm and dragging her downstairs to eat something so they wouldn't be late for school. Santana trotted downstairs and saw her mother over the stove and her father on the kitchen table, reading a newspaper.

"Good morning mija," her dad said, looking up briefly, but doing a double take when he saw a flash of blonde hair, he raised an eyebrow. "And… Brittany?"

The blonde flashed him a bright smile before elbowing Santana, silently telling her to greet him. Santana grumbled a hello back, before sitting down and eating her cereal. Brittany sat next to her, talking animatedly about Lord Tubbington. Santana's parents observed the way that Santana seemed to hang onto her every word, smiling and laughing at all the right times. Her parents knew that Santana had a close bond with the girl, ever since freshmen year, when all of a sudden there was a blonde at their house almost every day. They loved Brittany though, she brought out a side of Santana that people rarely saw, and it was refreshing to see her smile every once in a while.

Brittany excused herself to go to the bathroom, leaving Santana to finish her cereal. Brittany had eaten before she arrived and declined a meal. Santana's father looked at his watch and frowned.

"Mija, you might want to hurry up, you'll be late for school," he said, setting down his newspaper to look at his daughter.

Santana rolled her eyes, "I'll finish when I finish Papi." Just as she finished speaking, Brittany came bouncing back into the room, grabbing Santana on the arm.

"Hurry San, we're going to be late!" Brittany said, urgently before grabbing her bag and racing out the door. Santana's eyes grew wide before she shovelled down her cereal quickly and grabbed her bag, saying goodbye to her parents quickly before chasing after her friend. Santana's parents watched the scene before them unfold, their mouths gaping at the effect Brittany had on their daughter. Santana's dad scowled and threw his arms up. "I tell her to hurry up and she doesn't listen, Brittany tells her to hurry up and she's out the door in 5 seconds" he huffed. Maribel smiled and patted his shoulder comfortingly. She knew Antonio wasn't really mad, if anything he was happy that Santana seemed to have a rock in her life, someone she would actually listen to.

* * *

Santana parked her car in an empty spot, before turning to Brittany. "You ready?" She asked. Deep down Santana was nervous, she didn't know exactly how today would plan out, but she was looking forward to slapping Quinn in the face, really, really hard. Brittany nodded before jumping out of the car, walking around to meet Santana on the other side. She smiled at Santana with that heart melting smile and linked their pinkies together enthusiastically. They walked through the main doors of the school, and Santana relished in the way people would look at them, as if they got hotter over the break, wait, they did. They walked up to their lockers, which surprise, surprise, were right next to each other.

Santana felt her phone buzz, and saw that a message from Quinn

 _From Q: operation booby smack down is a go!_

Santana snorted _, what the fuck Quinn_ , she thought. Brittany leaned over and read the message, laughing as well. They heard the bell go off and checked their time table, smiling when they saw they had most of the same classes together. They had Spanish first, Santana pulled her books out and grabbed Brittany's pinkie with her own. Smiling when Brittany gripped it tightly.

"So, can I come over today? I think I'm suffering from a withdrawal of sweet lady kisses, it's been like a week now" Brittany said nonchalantly. Santana's heart momentarily froze and then sped up. They always hooked up, why did it make her heart beat so fast she was bringing it up now. _It's because people are around, that has to be it, right?_ Santana thought.

"San?" Brittany said, facing her friend. Santana snapped out of her thought and looked up to her friend, she smiled convincingly and nodded, tugging on her hand, leading them to their fast class.

* * *

 _This is it, show time_ , Santana thought as she walked out of Sue's office. She had gotten a very angry lecture about her supposed boob job, and was also downgraded to bottom pyramid; Quinn was so going to pay for that. She was no longer head cheerleader, and when Sue had told her that, she felt a great weight lift off of her shoulders, she almost sighed with relief. Santana walked down the parted hallway of the school, watching people cower under her hard glare, _here we go_ , she said as she saw Quinn come into view.

She grabbed Quinn and threw her into the locker. Quinn was momentarily shocked, but calmed down when she saw it was Santana, thankfully she was going along with their plan. Quinn shoved Santana's hands off of her, scowling angrily.

"You did this to me, you told coach Sylvester about my summer surgery" Santana said angrily, trying to hold back her laughter and keep her bitch face on.

"You have a surgery when you get your appendix out. You. Got. A. Boob. Job." Quinn retorted, trying to remember her lines and mentally bracing herself for the slap that was coming next.

"Yup sure did" Santana said bluntly, before slapping Quinn across the face, she felt satisfaction when Quinn's head flew to one side. _That's pay back for bottom pyramid, bitch_ , Santana thought.

"You can't hit me!" Quinn said back, trying to think of something else to add, now that she said it out loud it seemed a little weak.

"Sure I can," Santana spat back, cringing at her next line," unless you got yourself knocked up again, SLUT" Santana threw her arms in the air. Quinn applauded Santana mentally on her acting skills. She faked offence and grabbed Santana, throwing her into the locker nearby. Brittany stood on the side lines, silently laughing at her friends little show. She couldn't help herself, and yelled out "Stop the violence". Both Santana and Quinn wanted to burst out laughing at Brittany and her little comment, but had to keep up the act. Santana threw Quinn to the ground and was about to jump on her when Mr Schue intervened, pulling them apart before blabbering on about "us being a family". Santana snorted and thought of a witty come back.

"Oh please she has a family she's a mother!" She said loudly, before walking away towards Brittany. Quinn was being held back by Mr Schue and tried to think of something else witty to say, she cursed Santana on her insulting abilities and said the first thing that comes to mind.

"WALK AWAY, AND TIGHTEN UP YOUR PONY BEFORE YOU GET TO CLASS!" Quinn yelled at Santana's retreating figure. Santana almost laughed loudly, she looked over at Brittany, who was trying to hold back her snorts. _Quinn you are the stupidest person alive_ , she thought, shaking her head. As a joke, she pulled her hands to her hair and tightened her pony tail, making Brittany burst out laughing. Brittany pulled them into the nearest bathroom and suddenly looked concerned.

"What's wrong Britt-Britt?" Santana asked. Brittany studied her face, checking for injuries or bruises; Santana seemed to catch on and quickly assured her that she didn't get injured.

"I just wanted to make sure you didn't get hurt, I don't like it when you get hurt," Brittany said softly. Santana smiled warmly at her friend's big heart, before taking a quick look at their surroundings, making sure that they were alone. She leaned up and gave her a quick kiss on the lips, before taking their pinkies together and leading her out of the bathroom. The kiss made Santana's insides burst with butterflies, and she wasn't quite sure why, this never happened before, nor did it happen with any guys, even Puck. _It's probably just adrenaline rush,_ she thought to herself.

The day dragged on and soon enough it was time to go home. Santana and Quinn made sure to avoid each other all day, agreeing that they would start talking in public again in a few weeks. Brittany and Santana walked into Santana's room. Her parents weren't home, as usual, meaning that they had the whole house to themselves, something Brittany commented on slyly. Santana felt the butterflies build up inside her again as she watched Brittany close the door and lock it. Then she bounced over to the table and put on music, dancing wildly about. Santana felt her insides warm up as she gazed at her friend, so care free jumping wildly around. _She's so awesome, I'm so lucky she's my best friend, I love-_ , Santana didn't finish the thought, her eyes growing wide at her mental slip up. Love? Santana didn't do love, that was something she never even thought about. So why did it come so easy when she thought about Brittany?

Brittany watched Santana freeze; her eyes grew wide as she looked like she was having an internal debate. Brittany rolled her eyes at her friend's antics, before strutting over and grabbing her friend's hands and pulling them into a dance. Santana was snapped out of her thoughts and soon they were laughing. The song ended and they connected eyes for a long time, Brittany smiled down at her shorter friend and Santana felt the same warm, nervous feeling that bubbled up in her stomach. Could it be? No, nonsense, Santana didn't feel that way, not about anyone. As much as she tried to convince herself what she felt was nothing, one look into those bright blue eyes and she knew she was a goner, but she just didn't know what it all meant. Brittany smiled at her again, and everything melted away.

 _Crap._ Santana thought.

* * *

 _A/N **lol that fight was legit**_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N **hey guys! Sorry i havent updated in a few days, i've been meaning to but i just had a bunch of homework unloaded onto me, my school has seriously got to chill. Anyway this chapter continues on from the last one so its in the same day. I think this is the last chapter before it gets to the main story line i wanted, so the next chapter will probably be "Duets"! so yeah i hope you enjoy this one and leave a review if you can, any way i can improve is something i really want to know, thanks !**_

* * *

Brittany let go of Santana's hands and walked over to her bed, flopping down on it ungracefully. Her hands were sweating and her heart was beating fast, _we stared at each other longer than normal_ , she thought nervously. Brittany always got butterflies when Santana was around, the brunette seemed to quell but cause an uprise of them at the same time. Lately Brittany had been questioning whether or not these feelings were what best friends were supposed to have; she didn't feel this way with Quinn. _Then again, I don't hook up with Quinn_ , she thought. Now she was more confused than ever and all of a sudden the room seemed 10 times hotter and smaller.

Brittany could always define her feelings, she always knew what was going on in her heart, but when it came to Santana, everything was so confusing, their relationship was so confusing. On one hand, Santana told her that sex wasn't dating, and yet they still did everything together, as if they _were_ dating. Santana refused to ever put a label on their relationship; the best she gave Brittany was "best friends with benefits." Brittany's head swam with all these thoughts and questions, they never talked about it, and while that was fine at first, it didn't seem so good all of a sudden. _What if she's just using me?_ Brittany thought, she knew that Santana and Puck had a thing. They did date briefly before Santana broke it off, but she still seemed to have an attachment to him, regularly calling him her "man". She only called him up when she had nothing to do. She quickly shook the thought from her head, there was no way Santana would do that, and after all, they were best friends. _So why do I want something more?_ Brittany thought bitterly, angry that she was so confused.

Santana watched Brittany walk to the bed and go into deep thought, she wanted to ask what was wrong but her own feelings rooted her to the spot. _That was so weird, why the fuck did I stare at her for long, and why the fuck is it so hot in this room_ , Santana thought, moving quickly to the desk to pick up the air conditioner remote. She turned it on and was met instantly by the refreshing cool air hitting her skin. Why she was feeling all jittery was mind boggling to her, she'd only recently started to have those feelings, and oddly enough it was only when Brittany was around. _I should call Puck, I need a distraction,_ Santana picked up her phone and sent a quick text to him. She turned back around to face Brittany, who was still in deep thought; she wondered what her best friend was thinking about. "Probably Lord Tubbington", she said, her eyes widening when she realised she spoke out loud.

Brittany broke out of her thoughts and looked up at Santana, "what?" she said, she swore she heard her friend say something.

Santana quickly shook her head, "Nothing, do you want some food?" she said, trying to divert the topic. Brittany instantly lit up and grinned, nodding her head enthusiastically. Santana rolled her eyes playfully and walked over to grab her arm. Santana couldn't help but notice the way Brittany's skin seemed to burn into her hand, and suddenly she all she could focus on was her hand on Brittany while she dragged them down the stairs. Brittany pulled away from Santana as they entered the kitchen, plopping herself down on a stool while Santana rummaged through the pantry and fridge.

"So what do you want to do tonight?" Brittany asked, tapping her fingers against the kitchen counter. Truthfully she didn't care what they did, as long as they did it together. She always loved spending time with the Latina, whether it be doing homework or looking at the ducks. _Ducks_ , suddenly Brittany had a great idea. "Do you want to go see the ducks? We haven't been in a long time," she asked hopefully.

Santana turned around to reply, but was cut off by the buzzing of her phone. She smiled apologetically to Brittany before taking it out and reading it.

 _Puckasaurus: can't today, gaming with Finn, maybe tomorrow ;)_

Santana screamed internally, she had to do something to get her mind off of these feelings, and being with Puck would surely guarantee that, she never felt anything with him. In fact she usually feigns jealously when girls would go after him, just so that the girls knew that they couldn't take anything that was "hers". Though Santana rarely needed to show that, and when she did it was through empty threats. Puck didn't care about anything other than the physical, and that was fine for the Latina, that meant one less person to get attached to. Santana looked up from her phone and remembered that Brittany had asked her a question.

"What?" She asked quizzically. Brittany giggled, her face scrunching up in the cutest of ways. Santana felt her heart plummet into her stomach. _God fucking damn it_ , she screamed at herself, trying to make those uneasy feelings go away.

"I asked if you wanted to see the ducks, I bet they miss us, I mean who else throws them and entire loaf of bread at once", Brittany joked. Santana groaned and closed her eyes.

"That was ONE time Britt, I told you it slipped" she grumbled. Brittany just laughed and nodded her head, unconvinced.

"So is that a yes?" She asked hopefully. Santana looked at her puppy dog eyes before silently berating herself for being such a pussy. She rolled her eyes playfully and nodded quickly. Brittany squealed with happiness and jumped up off the chair she was on and ran to the cupboard to get bread, forgetting completely that they were supposed to get food. Santana watched her with glazed eyes as she tried to pick between two loaves of bread, concerned that the ducks might not like a brand.

Finally she picked one and drag Santana out the door, they were both still in cheerios uniform and the evening weather was slightly chilly. Santana felt Brittany link their arms together as they walked to the park. The park wasn't too far away, the perfect distance for a relaxing walk but not a tiring one. The closer they got, the more excited Brittany was. Santana was content with her life at that very second, with her arm linked closely with her best friends, but she knew that nothing was ever content for long. Nothing was perfect, except maybe Brittany, but if Santana told her that, she knew it would be weird on both their parts.

The park came into view and Brittany couldn't wait any longer, she grabbed Santana by the hand, intertwining the fingers together and pulled her towards the pond where a group of ducks sat. They sat down at their usual spot, a pile of big rocks that were a perfect view of the pond. Santana's fingers traced over a very familiar engraving in the rocks, smiling softly as she remembered they day that she had engraved it.

* * *

 _FLASH BACK_

 _Brittany sat perched on one of the big rocks; she looked down at her reflection in the pond. Earlier that day she overheard someone call her stupid, and though it shouldn't have affected her as much, she still felt the sting in her heart every time she heard that word, and she heard it constantly. It wasn't her fault she wasn't the smartest, she put in the effort, but there were no results. She started hard at her figure in the pond, her emotions were clouded, at first she was sad, sad that people couldn't see past the fact that she wasn't smart, that's all they ever thought about her. Then it changed to angry, angry at her for being that way. The longer she stared at her reflection, the angrier she got at herself; soon she couldn't take looking at her face anymore, and threw a rock into the pond, distorting her image._

 _She heard the crunch of leaves behind her, but she didn't look back, she felt frozen, the hate running through her veins was enough to make her numb to anything else. She saw the person's reflection in the pond, Santana. Brittany felt her heart get lighter, and a small smile start to tug at her lips, an instant reaction she had whenever her best friend was around. Santana didn't say anything, all she did was sit down next to her and drape her arm around the blonde, pulling her close and blocking out the evening chill._

 _"_ _I would've found you earlier, but Quinn and I were busy breaking into the assholes locker," Brittany knew that by "asshole" she meant the guy who snickered and made comments when Brittany accidentally wore her cheerios jacket inside out, it looked the same both ways. "We put a spider in there and then cut out paragraphs in a bunch of his textbooks. I'm pretty sure Quinn put a fart bomb in there too but I'm not sure, she's crazy like that". Brittany gave an airy laughed that ended as quickly as it started, before her eyes grew stormy again. Santana noticed this and grimaced, seeing Brittany like this was not a pretty sight, she made a mental reminded to break into the guy's gym locker and cut out holes in his uniform._

 _"_ _Why are you still friends with me?" Brittany asked, out of the blue. She turned to her friend expectantly. Santana's mouth dropped open at her friend's sudden blunt question. She furrowed her brow._

 _"_ _What?" Santana asked, with her brows arched._

 _"_ _I mean, you're pretty much perfect San, you're smart, hot, and popular, you could have anyone as your best friend. Why did you want to be mine? I'm not worth it, you hear what everyone says about me, I'm just some stupid cheerleader and you deserve a better best friend. One that isn't borderline retarded." She said grimly. Santana gaped at her friend, shocked that she could even think about herself like that. Her heart broke at the sight of her defeated friend, so broken up and hating herself._

 _Santana didn't say anything; she simply grabbed Brittany's hand and held it tightly. With her other hand, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small knife. Brittany's eyes widened and she wondered why the fuck Santana had a knife for. Santana saw the hesitation in her friend's eyes and smiled reassuringly, "I had to use it to cut out the text book pages" she said, focusing entirely on the rock she was now engraving letters into._

 _"_ _Britt, you're my best friend, you have been since we were scared freshmen trying out for the cheerios. I don't care about what everyone else thinks of you, you're perfect to me. You're the only person who knows me inside and out, probably better than my own parents" she said, her eyes still trained on the rock she was carving and her hand still gripping Brittany's tightly, she continued talking, " If anything, you're the one who deserves a better best friend. You're always there for me Brittany, and yeah I could probably go and get another best friend when hell freezes over, but they wouldn't know me like you, they wouldn't rock up to my house at 1 am with ice cream because I was craving it and they had the flavour in the their fridge. So yeah, maybe you don't see how I could stick around with you, but you don't see you like I do. I don't care about anything other than the fact that you are Brittany; you're MY Brittany, my best friend. "Brittany stared at her, her heart swelling with love and pride and so many other emotions. Santana stopped attacking the rock with her knife and brushed away the dust, leaving the engraving clear as crystal._

 _"_ _B+S best friends forever"_

* * *

Brittany threw bread happily to the ducks, oblivious to Santana's reminiscing. She looked over at her best friend, about to ask her something before she saw the brunette tracing over the engraving she had made. Brittany smiled down at it, her heart beating faster and faster when she remembered word for word what her friend had said to her. Santana felt a gaze on her and quickly snapping out of her thoughts. Brittany just smiled at her before holding on the bread. Santana went to reach for it when the blonde pulled it back quickly, her eyes narrowing, "ONE piece at a time, San" she joked. Santana gave a hearty laugh before rolling her eyes and taking the slice of bread, ripping it and throwing it to the ducks.

"At this rate, these ducks will be as fat as lord tubbers" Santana said, she swore she saw one of the ducks head butt another to get to a piece. Brittany slapped her shoulder, silently berating her for talking smack about her cat. Santana just laughed and held up her arms in defeat. They stayed at the pond for a while, before deciding it was time to head back. Brittany's mother, Susan, had texted the blonde, asking her to come home for family night. Santana had offered to walk her home, but Brittany refused. "My mum will probably make you stay for family night, and that is _not_ something that you want, trust me," she said, grimacing. The last family night they had ended in her losing $45 in a bet against her dad about whether or not Lord Tubbington could roll onto his back and roll back over again. Brittany thought he could, but sadly he got stuck for 30 seconds before he mewed loudly, thrashing about.

Santana saw her own house come into view. Her stomach twisted, she realised that her time with Brittany was coming to end for the day. She didn't understand why she felt so weird about it now, almost as if she didn't want Brittany to go, like she wanted Brittany to stay by her side. They stopped in front of Santana's door, Brittany looking equally as sad, with a small pout forming on her face.

"Hey now, don't be sad, we'll see each other tomorrow and we can text while you're at family night, "she said lightly, trying to wipe off the sadness in her friends features.

Brittany merely nodded, before pulling the brunette into a tight hug. Santana let herself fall into the embrace, ignoring the way her stomach fluttered and her heart leap out of her chest. "I'll miss you," Brittany mumbled into her neck. Santana nodded in response and reluctantly pulled away, trying to quell her speeding heart and butterflies. And then Brittany did something that stopped Santana's heart completely, she leaned forward and placed a soft kiss to her the Latina's cheek. Santana stood there, stunned, her cheek still burning where Brittany had kissed it. The blonde simply smiled before waving goodbye and walking down the street. Santana watched as Brittany disappeared from view; she lifted her hand to her cheek and brushed it lightly, a smile playing her lips involuntarily.

Santana felt the butterflies causing a riot in her stomach, she felt nervous, like she was going to puke. She swallowed thickly before opening her door to her ever so empty house. She kicked off her shoes and raced up the stairs, slamming her door and falling onto her bed. She was breathing heavily now, trying to figure out what the fuck she was feeling. Her mind was foggy and normal ideas couldn't form. Santana felt around her for her phone and put music on, thinking that it would calm her down. A familiar tune filled the room and she froze as the words came out of her phone and filled her head.

 _I am tired of this place, I hope people change_ _  
_ _I need time to replace what I gave away_ _  
_ _And my hopes, they are high, I must keep them small_ _  
_ _Though I try to resist I still want it all_

 _I see swimming pools and living rooms and aeroplanes_ _  
_ _I see a little house on the hill and children's names_ _  
_ _I see quiet nights poured over ice and Tanqueray_ _  
_ _But everything is shattering and it's my mistake_

 _Only fools fall for you, only fools_ _  
_ _Only fools do what I do, only fools fall_ _  
_ _Only fools fall for you, only fools_ _  
_ _Only fools do what I do, only fools fall_

Santana's heart started beating wildly again, _oh my god_ , she thought. Her heart leap when she heard the words "only fools fall for you."

 _Oh, our lives don't collide, I'm aware of this_ _  
_ _The differences and impulses and your obsession_ _  
_ _The little things you like stick, and I like aerosol_ _  
_ _Don't give a fuck, not giving up, I still want it all_

 _Only fools fall for you, only fools_ _  
_ _Only fools do what I do, only fools fall_ _  
_ _Only fools fall for you, only fools_ _  
_ _Only fools do what I do, only fools fall_

 _I see_ swimming **s** _pools and living rooms and aeroplanes_ _  
_ _I see a little house on the hill and children's names_ _  
_ _I see quiet nights part overrice and Tanqueray_ _  
_ _But everything is shattering and it's my mistake_

Santana wanted to vomit, everything was clicking into place. _Am I falling in love with my best friend?_ Santana wanted to rip the thought from her mind, there was absolutely no way she could be, she didn't swing that way, right? Santana's thoughts came rushing to her head involuntarily.

 _Only fools fall for you, only fools fall_ _  
_ _Only fools do what I do, only fools fall_ _  
_ _Only fools fall for you, only fools fall_ _  
_ _Only fools do what I do, only fools fall_

 _She doesn't love you like that, and you don't love her like that. You're best friends ONLY_ , Santana thought bitterly. For some reason she didn't like that idea, she didn't like that the thought of them being best friends, ONLY best friends.

 _Only fools fall for you (only fools)_ _  
_ _Only fools do what I do (only fools)_ _  
_ _Only fools fall for you (only fools)_

 _Even if you did love her like that, she would never love you the same, she's not in love with you, and she never will be,_ Santana reminded herself, she wanted to cry. If she was in love with Brittany, there was no turning back now; she would never be able to forget this. Santana felt tears sting at her eyes. She wasn't in love with Brittany, she couldn't be. Brittany would never be in love with her.

 _Only fools do what I do, only fools fall_

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 _A/N_ **so... what did you think? did it move too fast or?**

 **song used was : fools- troye sivan. You should totally check it out its so good seriously**


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N **hey guys ! sorry i haven't updated as much as i would've liked to but im drowning in homework and stress etc etc. Also i lied, this isnt "duets" just yet** , **i realised a lot of my story** **has been based on Santanas life and its going to continue like that but i'm adding some Brittany parts too which is exactly what this chapter is about so after you read this, hopefully my next chapter, which will be the duets one, wont seem to rushed. Anyway enjoy the short chapter, the next one will be longer. Leave a review if you can, i'd love to hear some feed back :))! Thank you!**_

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Brittany lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. The darkness on the night engulfed her room and the only source of illumination was the shitty street lamp on her street. Objects in her room cast light shadows while the room glowed softly under the street lamp. Brittany sighed, she was confused again. Late at night was when Brittany loved to think about the most troubling things in her life. She found the silence of the night and the darkness to be soothing, for her it meant no one was around to interrupt her.. She was all alone at this time, and that's how she liked it best.

Brittany thought back on the day's events. Her first day back at school wasn't too bad, it was entertaining that's for sure, especially that fight between Quinn and Santana. _Santana_ , Brittany's stomach churned. She loved Santana, she knew she did, but suddenly it didn't feel like platonic love anymore. _What kind of platonic love is that? When you sleep with the person,_ she mused. Sure, Brittany never had trouble expressing herself, and she didn't care about labels or who was what. She focused on her person, and gender was just a fact about someone, it didn't matter to her. That's why she often found herself, laying in her room in the darkness, thinking about her best friend. She didn't care that Santana wasn't a guy, she didn't care about anything other than Santana was Santana and Brittany was Brittany. Those were all the facts they needed. Everything about the Latina was endearing to her. The way her eyes sparkled only for Brittany, or the way she smiled three different types of smiles, the fake one, the happy one, and the one only used when Brittany was around.

 _She's so great, the way she always stands up for me, or drives me home every day, or shows up at my window when I'm bored. I wish she saw herself the way I did, then maybe she'd love herself like I love her,_ she thought, she definitely loved Santana, but in the past, whenever she thought for a second that there was a possibility that she could be IN love with the Latina, she recoiled and freaked out. _Please god no, if she ever found out she'd drop me so quickly._ Brittany winced at the last thought, would Santana really just drop her like that _?_ Brittany wasn't even sure she swung that way. Sure, she made out with her fair share of guys, and girls, but never felt anything for them. Santana was different, they'd been hooking up for around a year now, and it was causal, s _ex isn't dating, remember what Santana said?_ She thought to herself. _Wait, wait, how do I know Santana doesn't swing that way, I mean she never explicitly told me that, sure she hooks up with guys as well, but so do I. And if she isn't into girls, then why do I wake up in her bed every other week?_ Brittany thought about this long and hard. She always woke up in Santana's or her own bed, but never with her. Whenever they finished doing the dirty, Santana would always say her parents were going to be home and that she had to go. And when Brittany would sleep over, she would wake up to an cold bed and a Santana-less house. Brittany would ask her where she went but Santana always gave her vague answers, so she stopped asking entirely.

One day, maybe she'd talk to her about what they had going on, because "sex isn't dating" isn't the same as sex without feelings. And Brittany was certain she had feelings for Santana, that went beyond platonic, but wasn't as far as in love with Santana. Or maybe she was, Brittany didn't know for sure, Santana was the most confusing thing in her life, yet she was the simplest thing. _Maybe one day, I'll get my answer, and who knows? Maybe one day she'll actually be in love with me_ , Brittany thought lightly, lately the thought of loving her best friend didn't seem so fucking scary, Brittany realised she didn't freak out anymore when she thought about it. Truthfully, she wished that Santana was in love with her, _maybe then; I won't be the only one in love with their best friend._ Brittany took a deep breath, Santana was confusing, that was certain, but another there was another thing that was clear to Brittany. After spending so many nights in her dark room thinking, Brittany finally figured out what her own feelings were, and after tonight, after she kissed Santana on the cheek before she left, she was more certain on what she felt. "I'm in love with my best friend," she said to no one in particular. Her soft whispered confession cut into the silence of her room, and oddly enough, cut into her heart. She was ecstatic that she finally figured out what she felt, yet her heart felt heavier for some reason, just because she was in love with Santana, didn't mean that her best friend felt the same way. And they were in high school; everyone was rushing to be in love, and even though they had been friends for years, didn't mean that they would be anything other than best friends.

Brittany felt a little bit bitter, slightly agitated with herself, _why did I have to fall in love with the only person who I know I can't have_. Brittany could have Santana though, they fucked on a regular bases, she just didn't want to think that the only time she could ever really be Santana's was in her bed. Santana hooked up with Brittany more often that she did with Puck or anyone else. _That's a good sign, right? Maybe I'm just a good hook up._ Brittany felt a pang of sadness hit her heart at that thought, she knew she had to mean more to Santana than just a warm body, right? Brittany looked over at her clock; it read 1:48 AM. She didn't want to dwell on those thoughts anymore, all she knew was she was in love, or at least loved Santana. Anything else was just details.

She had to get to the bottom of this though; she needed to know what she meant to Santana, the good and the bad.

* * *

 _A/N_ **what did you think?**


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N **damn superstar, back at it again with a new chapter. Lmao okay anyway hello i'm back again, and yes this time its the duets chapter, but not everything in the episode happens in this chapter so its split into two. Also since i update erratically, i think my new update day will be Saturday day in Aus time so im not sure when that day is in other countries. I think it might be sunday in america? im not sure oops anyway i hope you enjoy this chapter and leave a review if u do like it, cause i really want feedback ! Also thanks to everyone who did review, one of the reviewers asked if i was planning on putting a party scene somewhere in the story and i definitely will. Anyway yeah tell me what you think! ill see you on saturday/sunday etc. :)**_

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Santana opened her stinging eyes wearily, blinking away the hours of crying, and the even less hours of sleep she oh so desperately needed. Last night's thoughts instantly plagued her mind, and she felt as shit as she did. _Am I in love with Brittany? NO! No, I can-can't be… please god don't let me fall in love with the only person who I could never be with._ Santana pleaded, to no one in particular. She stared up at the ceiling blankly, pushing down her emotions like she did every day of her life, emotions made you weak, they opened your weakest points to the entire world. Showing emotions is how people knew what could make or break you, and for Santana, that was a risk she was not willing to take. The less people knew about how she felt, the less chance she had of ever being let down, like she was every single time she opened her front door and was met with an eerie silence.

Santana sighed and rubbed her eyes. Trying to momentarily forget her troubles, she focused on getting ready for the long school day. She zipped up her cheerios outfit, scowling at her robotic looking figure in the mirror, _stupid fucking uniforms_. She jumped when she heard a knock on her window, Santana's heart stopped, only one person she knew ever knocked on her window. She took a deep breath, willing herself to act natural, but as she turned towards the window, and her eyes met a pair of bright blue ones, a pair that she missed every moment she couldn't turn and look into, her resolve crumbled and she felt a flurry of emotions hit her square in the heart. _Shit shit shit fuck me right up the ass shit fuck_ , she cursed unintelligibly as she walked over slowly. She didn't feel her lips curl into a smile. Santana opened the latch on the window and pulled it open. Brittany immediately glided through and landed on the hardwood floors with a soft thump. She beamed at Santana brightly and pulled her into a hug, pushing down the butterflies that burst in her stomach. Brittany thought about her new found knowledge that she came across last night, _I'm in love with Santana_ , she recalled. She knew she was in love, but what she didn't know was whether or not her feelings were reciprocated by the girl she was hugging tightly.

Santana took a deep breath; Brittany's perfume was both comforting and unnerving. She pulled away from the hug and smiled goofily.

"Hey Britt, what are you doing outside my window, you know how I feel about stalkers," Santana joked, feigning concern. Brittany laughed, and Santana felt like she could practically throw up butterflies at that point.

"HEY! I am not stalking you, I'm here because…" She drawled out, racking her brain for a response, "research purposes?"

Santana snorted, "What research are you doing?"

"National geographic hired me to find out everything I could about this crazy Latino species, so far I only found out that if you call them in the morning, you'll most likely come home to a burnt house and some fire crackers in your mailbox" Brittany said, shrugging.

"Sounds legit" Santana said, smiling.

Brittany winked and strolled over to the bed, plopping down and looking at the time. It read 7:37 am. _Shit, I came too early, what am I supposed to do now?_ She thought, tapping her chin thoughtfully, she looked around the room. Santana was twisting her foot into her white sneakers, refusing to untie the laces and put them on properly. _Come on you bastard, I know you can fit_. Finally her foot slipped into the shoes and she let out a sigh of relief. She looked up and saw the blonde in deep though. Santana admired the way her eyes seemed to always shine, even in the darkest of rooms, or the way there was always a playful type manner surrounding her. Brittany felt a pair of eyes on her and broke out of her thoughts on how far she could slide across Santana's hardwood floors. She looked up and saw the brunette smiling at her, Brittany's heart leapt and she smiled back, getting of the bed and walking over to her. Santana looked up curiously as Brittany held out her hand, but took it anyway. She let Brittany pull her up, immediately missing the contact as Brittany let her hand drop out of Santana's.

"How far can you go? Loco" Brittany said, in an accent.

Santana's face scrunched up and she laughed, "Britt, I'm pretty sure it's 'how _low_ can you go'" she said.

"Yeah, but going low doesn't really apply to this" Brittany said simply, shrugging her shoulders. Before Santana could question what she just said, Brittany took off in a sprint across her room and slid across her floor, almost touching the end of the wall. Santana's room had more space than she actually needed, and she swore that sometimes she could hear an echo. Brittany turned around, and raised her eye brow challengingly. _Loco indeed_ , Santana thought. She rolled her eyes before mimicking Brittany's actions. She slid up a little behind Brittany. The blonde laughed and pumped her fist in the air, knowing that she won the competition. Santana narrowed her eyes, tilting her head to one side, as if requesting a rematch. Brittany smiled and winked, accepting the challenge. Santana loved that they didn't have to communicate using words, and that one gesture seemed to say a hundred words.

They both broke into a run before sliding, this time they slid for longer. Santana held out her arms in order to balance, that didn't work out very well for her though, soon her feet slid over a particularly extra polished area and she lost her footing, eventually falling onto the floor. Brittany came to a halt and turned around, laughing heavily at the sight of her best friend, rubbing her sore ass where she had fallen on.

"Shut up" Santana mumbled, "I was so close to winning, stupid floor, this shit is rigged"

Brittany raised her eye brow, "close to winning? It was like the tortoise and the hare race" she joked. Santana rolled her eyes and got back up.

"Alright zoom-zoom, let's go downstairs, I'm pretty sure me falling woke up the entire neighbour-hood"

"Zoom-zoom?" Brittany asked.

"Zoom-zoom."

Brittany laughed and nodded, opening the door and walking downstairs. Santana followed closely behind her, she was definitely not checking out the blonde's ass as they descended the stairs.

* * *

Santana and Brittany sat side by side as they listened to the bell ring and saw students trickling into the class room. Brittany listened to Santana talk about how if she didn't get any solos this year, WMHS was going to have one less choir room. They stopped talking when Mr, Shue strolled in, hair shiny as ever, with a grimace on his face.

"All right, let's, uh, let's gather around. Sorry I'm late, guys. I was with Principal Figgins. Bad news, guys. Puckerman's in juvie."

Santana frowned, _juvie? This mowhawk wearing bitch…_ She thought angrily. They were supposed to _hang out_ after school today, now she had a free afternoon, one she knew fully well she was going to spend pining after the blonde sitting next to her. Brittany noticed the frown on her best friend, she nudged her slightly.

"Everything okay?" She asked, concerned.

Santana hesitated, should she tell her about what she was supposed to be doing this afternoon? _Why are you fretting? It's not like she doesn't know you guys hook up_ , she thought. "Um, yeah I guess so. It's just Puck and I were supposed to, you know, hang out… But now he got his stupid ass landed in juvie and I'm going to be bored"

"oh…" Santana saw a flash of emotion she didn't recognise, probably because she herself, was stoic. "Well, why don't you just come over to mine? We can hang out too, at least until he gets out?"

All the signals in Santana's head told her to back out, but she didn't have any good excuses. Why did she care so much? They always hooked up, now it wasn't any different. _Yes it is, you know it's different. You're in lov-,_ Santana didn't finish that thought. She nodded at Brittany, before turning her face to the front and listening to how Puck drove a Volvo into a store and ran off with the ATM. She and Brittany laughed out loud, why did she have to hook up with such an idiot, oh yeah, it's because it made her forget the blue eyes that she wished she could express all her feelings too. But she didn't know the feelings herself, so she took what she could get, after all, nothing is what it seems.

Mr. Schue droned on about the details that Santana couldn't care more about, before he introduced a boy with the biggest lips she had ever seen. The boy, Sam, talked for approximately 5 seconds before Santana looked at Brittany, "Oh wow, he has no game" she said, loud enough for everyone to hear. Brittany pulled her lips into her mouth and tried not to laugh.

"All right! Question for the group, what's a duet" asked.

Brittany and Santana had this on-going game, who could say the funniest thing in response to the questions asked. So far, Brittany had bested Santana almost every time, so when Santana opened her mouth to respond, she wasn't surprised when Brittany beat her to it.

"A blanket," she called out. Santana let out a huff of hair, _shit not again._ She thought. Brittany looked over to her smugly. "Gotcha, bitch," she whispered. Santana shoved her shoulder and rolled her eyes, fighting the smile that was threatening to show. The lesson droned on, and handed out a duets assignment, or maybe it was something else. Both of the girls weren't listening, too invested in the game of tic tac toe they were playing. Brittany won every time. Their heads snapped up from the book they were playing on when mentioned breadstix as the winning prize. Santana almost screamed, before she turned to Brittany and told her she had to win. They spent the rest of the lesson playing the game. Brittany won every time.

* * *

Santana laid on top of Brittany, kissing a path down her neck and she felt the blonde's hands rub her back. Santana still felt that nagging sensation at the back of her head, she couldn't pin point the sensation, but she knew it was bad. Every time she was away from Brittany, her head cleared and she remembered why she couldn't keep having these feelings for her, but then Brittany smiled at her, and she felt herself falling all over again. That's how she found herself trailing kisses down her best friend's neck, on her bed, instead of fucking some guy in her own. It was like she was falling deep into an underwater smoke, only to be pulled out into the fresh air and having her heard cleared for a second, before being plunged deep under again.

Brittany closed her eyes and drank in the feeling, now that she had figured out what she felt for Santana, everything seemed more heightened, then again it also seemed scarier, like every second was temporary, now that she knew there was a chance that the brunette didn't love her back. Still, she would take temporary kisses, rather than a temporary friendship she knew she would have if she told Santana that she loved her, they would try to remain friends, before one of them couldn't take it anymore, and they lost it all. Brittany still needed to know what she meant to Santana, and right now seemed like the best time, now or never. Maybe if she brought it up slowly. _I'll ask her to sing a duet with me_ ; she thought suddenly, she thanked for his lame assignment bringing something actually good into her life.

"I love your sweet lady kisses" she said, smiling as she rubbed circles into Santana's back. Santana lifted her head and gave her a lazy smile, her head not being able to form coherent thoughts as she lay in the arms of the girl who was so close yet so far away from her. _Don't be crazy, she's just your best friend, who you hook up with sometimes. Nothing more, okay? Nothing more._ She reminded herself.

"Mm-hmm, it's a nice break from all the scissoring" She said huskily, before dropping a kiss on the corner of the blonde's mouth. Brittany flushed before nodding in agreement. _Okay, you can do this, just pick a song, and tell her you want to sing a duet together. If she reacts good, then you'll know that she is okay with doing something like that, but if she doesn't then… whatever, just do it._ Brittany mentally prepared herself, she opened her mouth and the words came flowing out, she picked the first song she could think of.

"We should do a duet together. We should sing Melissa Etheridge's "Come To My Window"" Brittany blurted out, _oh shit, bad song choice._

Santana momentarily stopped, her heart thumping, _she wants to sing a duet with me? Come To My Window? That's like the most intimate song I've ever heard what the fuck. Shit, what do I do?_ Santana had no idea, so she did what she did best, she deflected.

Pulling away slightly, she looked Brittany in the eyes, hoping she would just drop the subject. "First of all? There's a lot of talking going on, and I wants to get my mack on." She went back to kissing her neck, hoping that it would distract her enough not to bring it back up. She was wrong.

Brittany was taken aback, that was _not_ the reaction she wanted. She didn't prepare for this, "Well… I don't know, I just… I think we just…" She mumbled.

Santana huffed in frustration, clearly Brittany wasn't going to just drop it. The panic inside Santana rose up more than she wanted it to, and when Santana panicked, that was never a good thing. The words came out of her mouth before she could think.

"Okay, second of all? I'm not making out with you because I'm in love with you and want to sing about making lady babies. I'm only here because Puck's been in the slammer for about 12 hours now, and I'm like a lizard. I need something warm beneath me or I can't digest my food." She said, sitting on the edge of the bed as she pulled her hair into a pony tail. _What the fuck did I just say_ , she thought, even Santana was shocked at her own words.

Brittany cast her eyes downwards, _"I'm only here because Puck's been in the slammer… I need something warm beneath me…"_ Brittany repeated the words in her mind; she finally knew what Santana thought of her. All she was to the brunette was a hook up, a toy she could come to when she was bored, only to leave in the early hours of the morning. At least she didn't have to keep guessing what everything meant. Willing herself to not start crying, she tried to keep her voice even as she could when she asked who Santana would sing with, her only response was a smirk she saw through the mirror next to her bed.

Santana felt a stab of guilt hit her when she saw Brittany's reflection in the mirror, she looked so hurt. Santana hated herself for making those blue eyes look so stormy. She turned around and softened her facial features.

"Britt-"Santana started, only to be cut off by the blonde.

"You should go, my parents might be home soon," Brittany got up and straightened out her skirt before walking over to the door. She opened it and looked at Santana coldly. The brunette raised an eye brow, _why would her parents care? I'm always over…_ She thought, puzzled.

"Britt, are you okay?" She asked slowly. Santana knew why Brittany was acting like this; she basically just told her that the blonde was only a hook up. Brittany remained silent, all she did was nod. Santana walked out the door but turned back around.

"Britt, I'm sorry, I'll call you later okay?" She said apologetically.

Brittany only looked at her, with cold eyes, before speaking. "Sure, if you ever need another warm body" she said sarcastically, before slamming the door shut and locking it.

Santana looked at the closed door, stunned. She wanted to run outside the house and climb back into Brittany's room, but she knew the blonde wouldn't let her in. Instead her stunned feeling grew into one of anger, _why do I have to be such a fuck up,_ she thought bitterly. She stayed at the door a moment longer, praying that the blonde would open it up. But the moment passed and Santana still stood facing a closed door. So she huffed and walked out of her house, and into her car. From her seat, she glanced up into the window, she saw the blonde standing in the middle of her room, running her fingers through the soft blonde hair. Santana felt a stab of guilt, anger, and self-hatred hit her as she saw Brittany furiously wiping her eyes, trying to get rid of the tears that she tried so hard to not let fall. Santana's heart wrenched and she pulled out her phone, sending a quick message to Brittany, before driving off.

Brittany tried desperately to not let the tears fall, _now I finally know_ , she thought, the bittersweet knowledge plagued her mind. One of hand, she was finally grateful she knew how much she meant to Santana, but on the other hand, she was hurt that all a warm body was all she really was to her best friend. _Santana always says stuff she doesn't mean though, maybe I just caught her off guard,_ Brittany scoffed, off guard or not, the truth always comes out when you least expect it. _If she wants a warm body, then she's going to have to find another_. She was broken out of her thoughts by a pinging sound ringing into the silent room. She walked over to her phone and picked it up, her heart leaping in a not so good way when she read over it.

 _From Santanerd: I'm sorry_

Brittany looked at the message, the two words didn't seem like much, but she knew there was more meaning behind them. Santana just didn't know how to express what she wanted to say. Usually apologising was all Santana had to do, but not this time, Brittany clicked on her contacts and changed Santana's name, all it read now was a simple _'S'_. To the outsides view, that might not have seemed so dramatic, but to Brittany, it symbolised her giving up on a part of her life she so desperately wanted to have, she wanted to be able to kiss Santana whenever she wanted, to have her sing silly love songs to the blonde, to whisper sweet nothings while they sat on by the pond on their rocks. They would never do that though, Santana only loved her in the sheets; that much she knew. So now, Brittany only loved her in the dark. _She won't fight for what she thinks is hers, but I won't be hers anymore._ She thought, it was time for Santana to find out what it was like when Brittany wasn't around to fuck whenever she was bored. Brittany hated feeling like this, like she invested all her heart in someone who only loved her physically. _"_ Time to find myself a new love", she said, staring at her broken reflection in the mirror.

In a particularly dark moment, Brittany wondered whether or not it was easier to not feel anything at all.

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 _A/N **i cant listen to the song 'mine' anymore without wanting to throw up so yeah thanks glee for ruining that good song for me. What did you think? Yes, no? TELL ME**_


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N **hey! so i decided to post this a little earlier than i intended to since i think next week might have been too crazy for me to write a new chapter since school and all. Thank you to all those who reviewed i appreciated all the feedback ! To the person who asked if it was going to go AU soon, and yes it is, but probably not until 'Sexy', but at the pace i'm moving, it won't be long now. Also to the person who said they would read more when it got less sad, you're in for a ride because im very bitter and this fanfic will be very bitter as well AHAHAHAHH im joking, sort of. Anyway, i hope you guys enjoy this chapter! later skaters.**_

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 _Fucking Artie_ , Santana thought bitterly. She watched as Brittany and he walked, or rather half walked half wheeled, down the hallway of the school. The day after Santana and Brittany had the fall out; she came to school hoping that the blonde would listen to her apology. Those plans were thrown out the window when word got out that Brittany and Artie were dating. Santana refused to believe it, but as soon as she walked into glee club, her heart faltered at seeing the blonde sit happily in her new boyfriends lap. Brittany didn't spare a glance towards her best friend. She was still mad about what had happened the day week before. Santana tried on multiple accounts to apologise, but the blonde wasn't having it. The most recent conversation didn't fair too well.

* * *

 _FLASHBACK_

 _Santana bit her nails nervously as she her thumb hovered above the 'call' button on her phone. Just call her you coward, she thought to herself. She took a deep breath before closing her eyes and quickly tapping the green button, slamming the phone against her ear as the ringing filled them. Her stomach was flipping nervously; she knew she really fucked up by telling Brittany she was just a warm body. Her heart skipped a beat as the line clicked through and Brittany's voice drifted through the speaker into her ear._

 _"What do you want Santana?" Brittany asked, agitated. She was trying her best not to just cave in and forgive her instantly._

 _Santana bit her lip. First name bases, not a good sign. "Britt, I told you that I was sorry, I didn't mean to say it. You've been ignoring me for days now, please, I don't want it to stay like this. You're my best friend, can you forgive me?" She asked, her voice cracking slightly. She hoped she didn't sound as desperate as she thought she did. Lately it was getting harder for her to ignore what she was feeling, and that was evident when Puck got back from juvie. He asked her to come over, but she flatly refused him in favour of getting forgiveness from the blonde._

 _Brittany closed her eyes and sighed inaudibly. She wanted badly to forgive Santana, but if she did then they would fall back into the routine they had before. Make up and then fuck, until one of them fucked up and then it would restart again. Brittany couldn't do that anymore, her heart couldn't take just being a side object for someone she held so closely to her heart. She especially couldn't do it now that she had Artie, who was so sweet and charming. He made her laugh, said the sweetest things and was generally a lot of fun. It wasn't the same feeling she had when she was with Santana, but Brittany convinced herself that one day being with Artie would be better than being with Santana._

 _"I don't know Santana, you-"Brittany sighed, but Santana cut her off._

 _"No wait, Britt please, I miss you," Santana said quickly._

 _Brittany's lips tugged up into a small smile, but that faded when she remembered why they were fighting in the first place. Anger coursed through her body and the words came out uncontrollably._

 _"Do you miss me, or my body?" She asked, her tone laced with anger._

 _Santana sighed and clenched her jaw, her patience was running out. "Britt, I told you that I was sorry, what else do you want from me? To get on my knees and beg for your forgiveness? You know what? Fine, you don't want to talk to me. I get it, do whatever you want. I don't care. I didn't mean it when I said that you were just a warm body and you know that. When you're done overreacting, then maybe you can accept my apology and move on." She said angrily, ripping the phone from her ear and ending the call. She closed her eyes tightly before sending a text out to Puck, saying that she was coming over after all._

* * *

Santana watched Artie and Brittany go past her. She scoffed and turned away, focusing on the code to open her locker. She felt a hard hand slap her on the shoulder. Santana whipped around, ready to drop a bitch, when she was met with stony hazel eyes. Santana scowled and rubbed her shoulder.

"The fuck Fabray," she spat.

"The fuck yourself, Lopez. What the hell is going on with you and Brittany? You've barely said a word to her all week and now she's with Artie who, by the way, I'm pretty sure she's never even spoken to. And now you look like someone just murdered your favourite pet," Quinn said, frowning.

Santana bit her lip. Neither Brittany nor the brunette had ever disclosed the excessive details of their friendship to Quinn, though the latter had a pretty good idea what went on behind closed doors. Nobody is that close with someone without getting a little action. Quinn never brought anything up though, if they were ready to tell her, then they would. Santana had a fleeting thought on whether or not she should tell the blonde, but in that moment, in a crowded school hall, she decided against it.

"None of your business bitch. If Brittany wants to date stubbles over there, then she can. I don't care," Santana retorted, trying her best to sound convincing. Quinn saw right through it.

"That's bullshit, something happened with you guys and I know it. Both of you are miserable, everyone can see that." Her tone softened," you guys are my best friends, and I love you, you're a good person deep down and we all know it, I mean you let me have the head cheerleading spot for god sakes. I just want to make sure you're okay."

Santana contemplated telling her yet again, and it took everything in her not to explode into tears. She couldn't handle it anymore, not having anyone to talk to. "Look, you're obviously not going to give this up, but I'm not going to talk about it here. Come over to my house after school and I guess I'll try my best not to throw you out a window, though I'm not making any promises." She said, rolling her eyes and turning her attention back to the combination of her locker. Quinn smiled and nodded, she looked over the features of the Latina, noticing the slightly relieved expression she wore. She'd never admit it, but she was glad Quinn was so pushy. She needed someone to talk to, but her pride controlled her, and she would never admit to needing help.

Quinn just prayed that Santana would open up, for her own good.

* * *

Santana sat nervously in her bedroom, listening attentively for the sound of Quinn's car in her street. The more time passed, the more nervous Santana got. _Maybe this was a bad idea. What am I supposed to tell her? That I'm fucking our best friend? That I could possibly be, if not absolutely be, in love with her? I can't say that, she'll think I'm lesbian. And I'm not, I'm not, right?_ Santana didn't have the chance to think about that any longer, she heard the familiar sound of her doorbell ring throughout the house. She must've been so deep in thought that she didn't hear Quinn's car pull up.

Santana went down the stairs slowly, stopping at her front door. She took a deep breath and opened it, revealing a smirking Quinn.

"Took you long enough, Santana slowpez" she said, stepping past her and up the stairs towards the Latinas' room. Santana rolled her eyes and shut the door, following the blonde up the stairs. Quinn sat on the mattress and looked at Santana expectantly. The brunette began to feel uncomfortable underneath the scrutinizing gaze, her walls started to form again and she could feel her defensiveness kick in.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" She said harshly.

Quinn frowned and rolled her eyes. "Back off San, I didn't come all the way here just to sit in silence. Are we going to talk about what's happening with you and Britt or are we going to have a staring contest?" She said pointedly. Santana sighed before plopping down next to Quinn on the bed, folding her legs and turning to face the blonde.

"Britt and I got into a fight," she said vaguely.

"No fucking shit, are you going to tell me what about?" Quinn asked, running her fingers through her hair. Santana glared at her, she just shrugged and motioned for her to continue. Santana opened her mouth, but no words came out. She didn't know how to explain their fight without explain their whole _situation_. She took a deep breath before choosing her words carefully.

"Well, we were hanging out, and I said something I wasn't supposed to say. It just came out, and she got really mad and kicked me out. I've tried apologising to her like 100 times but every time I do she ignores it and then she goes and gets Artie as some fucking boy toy and it's so stupid because he can't lov-"Santana cut herself off from the rant, praying that Quinn didn't hear the last past. Quinn did.

"He can't love what" she asked with an eye brow raised. Santana pulled her lips into her mouth and shook her head, her eyes starting to fill with tears. She couldn't tell Quinn, if she did then she might as well have lost all her friends. It was bad enough that Brittany wasn't talking to her, if Quinn knew what she really felt, then there was no saying how the blonde would react. She tried so badly to hold it in, but the words were like a ticking time bomb. And right at the moment was when it detonated.

"Can't love her l-like I do" she said, barely above a whisper. Immediately she closed her mouth and shook her head quickly, slapping a hand over her mouth like those words stung her mouth. Tears blurred her vision and her throat closed up. That was the first time she had ever acknowledged her feelings for the blonde out loud, and at that point she wondered if it was too soon. Santana wasn't sure who she was, and she wasn't really sure she knew what love was. Quinn could see panic and withdrawal start to rise in the brunette, so she quickly reached over and pulled Santana into a tight hug, holding her closely while Santana sobbed into her friends shoulder. She wished deep down that it was Brittany's shoulder that she was crying into, but Brittany didn't want to talk to her. So now she was breaking down in the arms of someone she would never allow herself to look weak in front of. Quinn stroked her back softly and whispered encouraging words into her ears. Quinn bit her lip and wondered whether or not this was the right time to tell Santana that she knew about what Brittany and her did behind closed doors. She decided that it would make it a whole lot easier for Santana to disclose everything she felt if the blonde knew.

"You know, I always knew that you and Britt were really close. _Too close_ actually," she tried to think of a way to bring it up subtly, but right now her brain was back firing and she decided to just go full out. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth. "Look, I don't know how else to say it. I know you and Brittany hook up."

Santana ripped her head from Quinn's shoulder and stared at her with wide eyes. _What the fuck?! How did she know? Oh god, is it that obvious? Can everybody see that? Fuck fuck fuck._ The thoughts ran wildly in Santana's head. She stepped back and shook her head.

"Who the fuck told you that?" She hissed angrily. Quinn rolled her eyes and sighed.

"No one did, I've been around you long enough to know when you're lying. Like last month, when those hickeys you got were supposedly from a 'guy' you hooked up with at a party, even though I saw you dancing with Britt the whole night and then go home with her." She said, recalling the event. "Also, some glee club kids let it slip that you once said "sex isn't dating" and then Britt said "if it were, Santana and I would be dating." At that point I was pretty much certain you guys had it going on. I mean I'm practically a Sherlock Holmes."

Santana closed her eyes and took a shaky breath. Then a thought crossed her mind. Quinn wasn't freaking out, she wasn't jumping off the bed and accusing Santana of being gay, she wasn't looking at her with disgust or shame, just curiosity. She frowned before finding her voice again.

"Wa-ait, you're…okay with this? I mean you just told me you know that Britt and I fuck, and you aren't even freaking out?" She asked, hesitantly.

"Gross, don't say that, it sounds so crass. Definitely not what I want to picture Brittany doing, she's way too innocent for that word. Hooking up sounds way better" she said, scrunching her nose," and yes, I'm fine with it. I've known it for a while, but I thought whenever you were ready you would come to me. At first I admit it was a little odd, like how does that even happen? But you guys are my best friends, and I love you no matter what. Always."

Santana smiled a real genuine smile. At times like this, she was really glad she had someone like Quinn in her life. She walked over and engulfed the blonde in a tight hug.

"Thank you" she whispered. Quinn shrugged nonchalantly before returning to the bed.

"Now that we got that out of the way, are you going to tell me what you said to Britt to make her so upset with you?" She said seriously. Santana bit her lip and cast her eyes downward.

"I might have said something like "I'm only here cause Pucks been in the slammer for about 12 hours now and I'm like a lizard, I need something warm beneath me or I can't digest my food," when we were fooling around on her bed after she suggested we sing duet together…" She said hesitantly. Immediately she was met with a hard slap across the shoulder.

"Oww, what the fuck bitch, do you want to see Jesus?"

"What the FUCK Santana!" Quinn hissed, "Why would you say that? Are you crazy? Please tell me you've actually apologised for saying and not spent the week waiting for her to talk to you first"

"Of course I've apologised, did you not hear me before when I told you I did the last 10 times? Every time I speak to her my first words are "I'm sorry". Do you think she cares? Nope. She's all about stubbles right now" Santana said, sounding dejected.

Quinn thought for a minute, "Maybe she doesn't want to forgive you so easy 'cause you guys will just fall back into whatever you had before. I mean it must be hard to be hooking up with someone, let alone your best friend, and have them tell you that you're just a warm body." Santana nodded and put her head in her hand. She was still having trouble grasping the fact that Quinn knew. She knew about what Brittany and she did, Quinn knew that she loved Brittany, more than a friend. Suddenly panic washed over her, and she jumped right back into defensive mode.

"You cannot tell _anyone_ what I just told you. Especially not Brittany, and _especially_ not about me lov- you know… liking her" she said, pointing her finger at the blonde. Quinn opened her mouth to retort, but upon seeing the pleading eyes under the aggressive look, she bit her tongue and nodded. Santana sighed and sat back down on the bed.

"So…" Quinn began hesitantly, wary of the way Santana might take the question, "are you going to tell Brittany?"

"Tell her what," Santana said, feigning ignorance. Quinn just gave her a pointed look.

"Tell her that you're in love with her."

Santana winced at those words. Saying them out loud made it seem so real, it made her panic. Santana's walls came back up again, and she rejected the idea harshly. "No fucking way, I can't tell her, are you insane? Do you want me to lose the person I care most about? If I tell her and she doesn't feel the same way, which I know she doesn't, our friendship will never recover." Santana said, playing with her fingers.

Quinn didn't know how to respond to that, because Santana did have a point. Neither she nor Santana knew what Brittany felt, and it was an incredibly risky move to wear your heart on your sleeve, because most of the time the people who do that ended up with the most bitter of personalities. Quinn decided to change the topic, to a more pressing matter.

"Yeah I get you, but San, do you think you're…you know… lesb-"Quinn began, before Santana cut her off.

"No! I just -I don't know, maybe. I mean who knows? I don't want to put a label on anything; you know how much I hate labels. I just, don't want to think about that right now, I mean have you looked around? We're in Lima; it's like a homophobic heaven." Santana said, shaking her head.

Quinn nodded understandingly. "Well, if you don't want to focus on that, maybe you should focus on getting Britt to forgive you." Santana nodded and sighed, she knew eventually the girl would forgive her, but that was taking a long time and Santana wasn't one for waiting.

"Yeah I know, I'll figure something out." Quinn was about to respond when her phone went off, it was her mum telling her to come home, since it was almost dinner time. Quinn rolled her eyes before Santana got up and walked her to the front of her car. Before she got in though, she felt Santana pull her arm and into a hug. "Thank you, again, for everything. It really meant a lot to me, and I… just, thank you," she said, with a tight lipped smile. Quinn nodded before getting into her car and driving off. Santana watched her go before turning to go back to her own house, but then changed her mind and decided that she needed to walk around to clear her mind, so she set off in the direction of the park.

Santana reached her destination and sat by the rocks that she was so familiar with, her fingers grazing the carving out of instinct. Santana sighed and looked out into the pond, watching the water move so calmly from the wind. She thought of multiple ways to get the Brittany to forgive her, but nothing was working. She groaned in frustration, and then he had a revelation, Brittany always loved it when she sang; _I'll sing her a song to tell her I'm sorry!_ Usually her best ideas came to her whenever she was singing absentmindedly, but she didn't have a guitar with her. _Oh well, I might as well go a-cappella_. Santana thought of the perfect song, and though it didn't exactly say that she was sorry, it suited their situation well. She began humming the tune into the evening air.

 _Growing distance, free of explanation_ _  
_ _We're getting deeper in this mess_ _  
_ _Take careful contemplation_ _  
_ _I'd rather be spittin' blood_ _  
_ _Than have this silence fuck me up_

 _This separation, time and space between us_ _  
_ _For some revelation_ _  
_ _You didn't care to discuss_ _  
_ _I'd rather be black and blue_ _  
_ _Than accept that you withdrew_

Santana thought over the week as she sung the lyrics so perfectly well. She thought about how Brittany was ignoring her, and how much she hated it when she had to go an hour, let alone a week, without talking to the blonde. Her emotions ran wild and she put her heart into the song.

 _Aaah, just tell me_ _  
_ _Say anything_ _  
_ _Anything hurts less than the quiet_ _  
_ _Just tell me_ _  
_ _Say anything_ _  
_ _Anything hurts less than the quiet_

Brittany walked aimlessly throughout the park, but stopped in her tracks when she heard a familiar voice drift through the area near the pond. Brittany bit her lip, she didn't expect to see Santana at the one place she thought she could escape the suffocating silence. Artie was having family time with his mother, and while he invited her out, she declined in favour of thinking over recent events. Brittany etched closer to the Latina, careful not to give herself away in the reflection of the pond; she listened to her sing with that voice she loved oh so much. Santana, lost in the song, didn't feel the pair of eyes watching her intently.

 _Used to give each other the world, every bit_ _  
_ _U used to be the one you'd come to_ _  
_ _When it'd all go to shit_ _  
_ _Now I'm left here in the dust_ _  
_ _With the taste of broken trust_

Brittany scrunched her face; she couldn't help but feel slightly guilty. Her friend sounded so broken when she sang the words. So she stepped closer.

 _And I don't wanna walk away_ _  
_ _But you left me no choice_ _  
_ _Only talking to myself here_ _  
_ _Now you've muffled your voice_ _  
_ _I'd rather have broken bones_ _  
_ _Than feel myself turn to stone_

Santana couldn't help but see the resemblance to her situation in the song, because she really was just talking to herself, and Brittany really did leave her no choice but to sit on the dirty rock by the pond singing.

 _Aaah, just tell me_ _  
_ _Say anything_ _  
_ _Anything hurts less than the quiet_ _  
_ _Just tell me_ _  
_ _Say anything_ _  
_ _Anything hurts less than the quiet_

 _I don't mind that I know that you're wrong_ _  
_ _I don't mind that you think you're right_ _  
_ _All I want is a fight to fight_ _  
_ _Anything but quiet_

Brittany couldn't take it anymore, hearing her best friend sound so sad, she felt even worse knowing that she was the root of it. Though Santana did hurt her, Brittany knew that she really was sorry. _Maybe I dragged out the silent treatment too long, I mean she does apologise every chance she gets,_ Brittany thought. She walked closer and closer, until she was right behind the Latina. She saw through the reflection of the pond that her eyes were closed as she sung, Brittany smiled softly at that.

 _Just tell me_ _  
_ _Say anything_ _  
_ _Anything hurts less than the quiet_

Santana ended the song with a soft hum and sighed. She opened her eyes and her heart stopped when she saw Brittany standing above her. Santana jumped up from her spot and stepped back a few inches.

"Bri-Britt, what uh, what are you doing here?" She spluttered nervously. _Oh jesus Christ please tell me she didn't hear me singing oh good god._

"I was just walking around here, Artie…" Santana scowled at the mention of his name, "…went on a bonding night with him mum or something like that, and we aren't talking and I got bored so I walked here"

"We aren't talking because every time I try to you either ignore me or walk off" she said bitterly. Brittany rolled her eyes.

"That's because you-"Brittany cut herself off and sighed. "Look San, I'm sorry I've been ignoring you. You apologised to me and explained yourself and that should've been enough, but what you said really hurt me."

"I know that Britt! And I told you I was sorry, do you forgive me now?" she asked, slight desperation in her voice. Brittany smiled and nodded.

"Yes, I think you've suffered enough. Plus it's a total bummer not being able to talk to you. I mean Artie is fun and all but you make better jokes." Santana laughed, _god it feels so good to talk to her again_ , she thought. Then she remembered Artie.

"So, you and Artie? Are you going to keep him around?" she tried to play it cool, and prayed it would work. Brittany thought about this for a moment, before nodding and smiling softly.

"Yeah I think so, he's really sweet and I have a lot of fun with him. I think I really like him" _Not as much as I like you though,_ Brittany added silently. Santana gave a tight lipped smile and decided to change the subject.

"I'm really glad we're talking again, Britt, I missed you so much. And I really mean you, not just your body." Brittany pulled her into a hug, and Santana melted into it.

"I missed you too, so much," Brittany bit her lip and added, "but that's not all I am right? I mean more to you than just a hook up, right?" Santana looked her straight in the eye and without hesitation.

"Of course you do, you mean so much more to me than you'll ever know. I was stupid when I said that and I wasn't thinking right. You'll always be more than just a hook up to me, and I'm sorry I made you doubt that." Brittany nodded at that and smiled, her anger for the brunette faded away and she was just glad she had a best friend again.

"Can we go back to your place? I don't want to go home, I'll be bored" Brittany said, looking at her friend hopefully. Santana laughed and nodded.

"Sure Britt, we can do whatever you want."

"By the way, I love it when you sing. I heard it back there," Brittany gestured to behind her, where she stood before she heard the Latina, "and my ovaries exploded." Santana laughed and linked her pinkie with Brittany's, talking aimlessly while they went back to her place.

* * *

 _A/N_ **song used was The Quiet- Troye Sivan. Tell me what you think superstars!**


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N **Hello, it is me again. I know i said i would update on sat, but that's my bday and im going out so i dont think i'd have time. So here's a chapter for you. The next will probably be fluff before i ruin u with the 'Sexy' chapter, and then a few angsty ones before it goes AU. Anyway i hope you like this. I also pray that no one i know reads this cause then that'll be hard to explain. Enjoy! Thank you to everyone who reviewed/followed/favourited. If you like this chapter then leave a review! I'd love some feedback. Enjoy !**_

* * *

Santana's life was back on track now, she and Brittany were friends again and all was forgiven. Everything was normal, except for one thing. Brittany was still dating Artie, much to Santana's dismay. The blonde seemed genuinely happy though, so who was Santana to put an end to that? She voiced her dislike for the boy through glares as they passed each other in the hall ways or in glee club.

Quinn was also getting on Santana's nerves. Whenever they hung out the blonde would grill Santana for updates about what she dubbed 'Brittana's love life'. That named earned her a hard shove into a bush. Santana didn't have any updates though, the one person she wanted to be with was with someone else, and would probably never like her back. Quinn wasn't discouraged though, she would constantly tell Santana to take the leap.

* * *

 _FLASHBACK_

 _"_ _You're never going to know if you don't do something about it. Staring at her in glee club or trying to roll Artie down a steep ramp won't solve anything," Quinn chastised as she laid on Santana's bed._

 _"_ _Okay mooom," Santana said sarcastically_

 _"_ _I'm serious Santana, you deserve to be happy"_

 _Santana looked at her friend seriously; did she really deserve to be happy? She was WMHS terrorizer, why would someone as mean as her deserve someone as good as Brittany?_

 _"_ _I don't want to talk about this anymore, let's go egg someone's house or something. I vote Artie" Santana said, quickly getting up scampering down to her kitchen. Quinn scoffed before getting up and following her friend to stop her from getting arrested._

* * *

Santana broke out of her thoughts when her favourite blonde, _no not you Quinn_ , came up to her locker. Brittany had a wide grin on her face which confused Santana, until she actually took a look at her surroundings. She blinked a couple of times as she was hit by the flurry of pink and red decorations on the wall and all over the lockers. _Valentine's Day, of course!_ Santana thought. She turned to Brittany and returned the smile.

"Hey Britt, happy Valentine's Day" she said as she hugged the blonde tightly. Brittany smiled and fell into the hug, wrapping her arms around her best friend tightly. Her heart beat sped up and she prayed that Santana couldn't feel it.

"Happy Valentine's Day to you too," Santana smiled and pulled away from the hug.

"So, what do you want to do for V day?" Santana asked. They had a tradition of going out on Valentine's together, since they enjoyed each other's company more than that of boys. They also gave each other gifts sometimes. Santana had already picked out her gift for the blonde, and was going to give it to her that night. Brittany's face suddenly fell and she bit her lip, looking nervous. Santana quirked and eyebrow before the realisation hit her. _Oh hell no, she better not-,_ Santana thought, before being cut off by her friends small voice.

"Um… I can't really do Valentines with you today. Artie wanted to take me out and since he's my boyfriend and all I just-" Santana cut her off with a tight lip smile, wanting to end the sentence as fast as she could.

"I get it. Don't worry about it; I'll just hang out with Quinn or something. Maybe Puck," Santana said, trying mask her dejected tone.

Brittany ignored the pang of jealous that ran over her and looked at Santana confused, "I thought Puck was with Zizes". _Crap I forgot about that mismatched couple straight from hell_ , Santana thought bitterly. Before she got a chance to reply the bell rang signalling her first class starting.

"I'm really sorry I can't spend the day with you, maybe we can do something after I go out with Artie?" Brittany asked, hopefully. Santana clenched her jaw; she didn't want to be the one waiting around for the off chance that they might hang out. Though Brittany looked so hopeful Santana couldn't say no. She reluctantly nodded and the blonde grinned, linking their pinkies and walking them to their first class together.

* * *

Santana felt her phone buzz in her pocket as she listened to Mr Schue talk in very bad Spanish. She took out her phone and looked at the text, nudging Brittany as she read it.

 _Puck: V day party at my place, everyone invited, dress hot or get got :P_

 _Get got? This dumbass_ , Santana rolled her eyes. She looked at Brittany and saw her reading the text on her own phone.

"Are you going?" She whispered, careful not to be too loud.

"I don't know, I might drop by after my date with Artie, unless he wants to go instead. Are you?" Brittany said, equally as quiet.

"Yeah probably, free booze and easy boys, perfect combination for me" Santana said happily, missing the flash of emotion cross the blondes face.

"Yeah, perfect combination" she muttered lowly. Santana looked at her and opened her mouth to reply when Mr Schue stopped his impersonation and called their names.

"Brittany, Santana, I'd appreciate it if you listened, this is an important lesson" he warned. Santana scowled and bit her tongue, trying not to spill a long line of insults that would for sure make him cry. Brittany nodded innocently, focusing on the lesson and trying not to laugh at Santana making corrections in his Spanish speaking.

Santana felt her phone vibrate again, signalling yet another message. She pulled out her phone discretely and looked at the message, it was from Quinn.

 _Q: Hey bitch, how's Spanish? Jokes I don't care. Anyway I heard Puck is having a party tonight, wanna get ready together and carpool?_

 _Carpool? What is she? 50 years old?_ Santana thought, trying not to laugh out loud. She typed out a quick response and told Quinn meet her at her house after school. Brittany was writing down notes when she felt her own phone vibrate, it was a text from Artie.

 _Artie: Hey baby! My mum just called me and told me my granddad isn't well, and I have to drive up to meet them tonight. That means our date is cancelled :(( I'm so sorry!_

Brittany frowned, she was really looking forward to spending time with her boyfriend, though she couldn't be mad at him, he had a good reason for not being able to go.

 _Brittany: Awww it's okay, I might just go to Puck's party instead. I hope you're granddad will be okay! Happy Valentine's Day though 3_

She sent off her text before pocketing her phone and turning to Santana. She nudged her friend who was still texting Quinn.

"Do you want to go to Pucks party together? Artie can't make our date and I don't want to be alone." Santana looked up from her phone briefly and nodded at the blonde.

"Do you want to get ready at mine? Quinn is coming too; let me see if she wants to sleep over. You can sleep at mine if you want, we haven't had a sleep over in ages." Brittany nodded and turned her attention back to the class. She tried to keep her breathing even, since she realised that every time they had a sleepover, they ended up _sleeping_ together. It had been a long time since they hooked up, especially since Brittany started dating Artie, they hadn't even made out. Brittany prayed Quinn was sleeping over too, because alcohol and a room alone with Santana was a recipe for disaster, especially since she now had a boyfriend.

"Oh, Quinn can't come, I guess it's just you and me then" Santana said nonchalantly. In reality she was ecstatic. She too had realised the lack of intimacy between them, and that was something she wanted to change, and she planned on changing it during their sleepover. She was slightly concerned though, Brittany had a boyfriend, and she wasn't one to cheat. _Oh please, I'm the hottest piece of ass in this joint, and way better than stubbles. How will she be able to resist?_ Santana thought.

* * *

"You look like a stripper who wants to get through college but doesn't have a good paying job so hits the stage and dances under the name 'Spicy Mama'" Quinn said, looking over Santana's outfit.

"Okay first of all, that was oddly specific so if you have some weird kinky thing you're into, I don't want to hear about it. Second of all, I knew it! It's always the Jesus loving ones that are sex freaks" she said, pulling a face. Quinn threw a pillow at her.

"Oh god" Quinn groaned, "just shut up and put on something longer so when you bend over, I don't see your ovaries." Santana rolled her eyes and went back to her closet, rummaging around for something to wear. Quinn eyed her, trying to find a way to casually bring up Brittany.

"Sooo, is Britt coming tonight? Or is she doing something with Artie?" She said, looking at her nails and feigning disinterest. Santana involuntarily scowled at his name, it was a reflex she had recently picked up.

"Her boy toy named Art had to go take care of something that I don't remember because I've learnt to block out everything and anything related to him" she said, rolling her eyes," so that means Britt is coming tonight and sleeping over. I thought you knew that, I did ask you while we were texting today"

 _Shit, she did tell me_ , Quinn thought frantically. "Oh yeah, I remember that," she said, trying to cover up, then a thought struck her," wait… she's sleeping over? In your bed? With you? All alone?

"Yes?" Santana said, not really knowing where this conversation was going, Quinn widened her eyes and threw another pillow at Santana.

"Santana! You can't do that, what if something happens and you guys end up sleeping together?"

"And that's a problem because?" she drawled out. Quinn got up and punched her in the shoulder; Santana scowled and rubbed the sore spot. "The fuck bitch?!"

"That's a problem because she has a boyfriend! Promise me you aren't going to seduce her or something" Quinn said, seriously.

"Seduce her? You make me sound like a womanizer or something"

"You are one you fucking egg and you better not try and sleep with her" Quinn said looking at her friend pointedly.

Santana rolled her eyes and sighed. "All right, I won't seduce her…on purpose. I mean if she jumps me then that's her fault, I wouldn't blame her though, I mean who wouldn't want to get up on this?" She said, gesturing to herself. Quinn rolled her eyes and went to sit back on the bed.

"You're insane and I'm bored, hurry up."

Santana scoffed and went into the bathroom to try on her outfit, before deciding she liked it. She walked back out and saw Quinn watching her. She smirked to herself and swayed her hips.

"You done checking me out Fabgay?" Santana asked sarcastically.

"Shut the fuck up before I drop you" Quinn shot back, rolling her eyes.

Santana laughed, before absentmindedly speaking. "Yeah, and _I'm_ the gay one." She immediately shut her mouth and whirled around to face Quinn, who was equally surprised.

"Did you just-"Quinn said, before the pinging of Santana's phone cut her off. Santana raced to her phone and saw it was a text from Brittany. It said she was ready and she would wait for them to pick her up.

"Britt is ready, we should go now," she said quickly, turning to race out the door. Quinn shot up and grabbed her arm, pulling her back.

"San…" She said softly. Santana scowled and ripped her arm from the blondes grip.

"It was nothing, I wasn't thinking. It didn't mean anything" she said harshly, before turning away and going out the door. Quinn pulled her lips into her mouth and sighed, blowing out a puff of air. She was concerned now, more than ever, for the brunette. _Please let Brittany feel the same way about San,_ Quinn silently begged. She picked up her purse and checked all her essential items were inside, before exiting the bedroom and going down the stairs. She stopped at the bottom step when she heard voices that didn't belong to Santana. She followed the voices into the kitchen and saw Santana standing there, grinning happily at the sight of her parents at home.

"Quinn! Oh it's so nice to see you, I haven't seen you around lately." Santana's mother said, pulling the blonde into a hug. "I haven't seen Brittany around either, where has my daughters friends been?"

Santana rolled her eyes and spoke, "Brittany has a boyfriend now, and she doesn't have time to come over." Maribel didn't miss the way Santana's tone became bitter, and a little sad. She glanced at her husband, who raised an eye brow, signalling he heard it too.

"You should invite her over, I haven't seen her in ages" she said, trying to tread carefully.

"Well, she sleeping over tonight, so if you want to see her I'll try to keep her awake long enough for you to see her when you get home." Santana said, tapping her fingers on the kitchen bench. Maribel looked over to her husband with wide eyes. She had remembered the last time Brittany had slept over; they had come home early from work to surprise their daughter when they saw clothes trailing from the bottom of the stairs, all the way up to Santana's room. They hadn't thought about it that much until they both heard some very compromising noises coming from their bedroom, and judging by the only clothes on the floor being cheerios uniform, it wasn't hard to narrow down who exactly was in the room. Though Maribel and Antonio were shocked, it only stemmed from the fact that they were actually sleeping together. Her parents didn't have a doubt in their mind that the two girls loved each other. So they kept their mouths shut and hoped that one day their daughter could talk to them about it, until then, they tried to make her as comfortable with herself as they could.

"We should go, I don't want to be late to the party. It means we'll have less time to actually party," Santana said. She walked over and gave a kiss to both her parents' cheeks, before grabbing Quinn's hand and pulling her out the door. Quinn waved to the parents before following her friend out.

Maribel looked at her husband with a raised eyebrow.

"Sleeping over, hey?" She said, tilting her head, "Do you think they're going to, you know?"

Antonio gave his wife an incredulous look, "No! Brittany has a boyfriend now, and our mija should know to respect that."

"Oh please Toni, Brittany may have a boyfriend, but Santana will always have her heart. I'm telling you now; they're going to do something tonight." Maribel said, shaking her finger.

Antonio shook his head, before looking at her and smirking like a school boy, "want to bet on it?" Maribel looked at him, shocked.

"You want to be on whether or not our daughter will get into her best friends pants tonight?" She said, putting her hand over her chest.

"Soo, is that a yes? Winner gets $50." He said, holding out his hand. Maribel shook her head, looking disappointed, before looking back up and taking his hand.

"Yes." She said, smirking.

"We are great parents" he said, shaking her hand. She laughed and nodded.

"The greatest."

* * *

The loud music thumped in Santana's ears, and she smirked at the sight of the well started party in front of her. Quinn quickly scanned the room, before spotting the guppy lipped blonde she had taken a liking to.

"Later losers" she called out as she pushed her way through the crowd toward him.

Santana rolled her eyes and linked her pinkie with Brittany's, who took it happily and smiled at her. Santana pointed towards the drinks in the kitchen and raised an eyebrow in question. Brittany nodded and pulled her toward their destination. Despite all the activity around her, Santana could only focus on the pinkie that was intertwined with hers. Some part of her wished that all their fingers were intertwined. She quickly shook the thought from her head, _Brittany already has someone she can hold hands with, and it isn't you._ She reminded herself, _good god I need a drink._ Brittany pulled them into the kitchen before dropping the brunette's pinkie, something Santana disliked very much, and walked towards the cups and drinks. Santana went to follow but a broad chest came into view. She looked up and saw a member of the football team looking down at her, smirking.

"Hey Lopez, good seeing you here. What do you say we go upstairs and I show you the real cupid's arrow?" He said suggestively, waggling his eyebrow. Santana laughed, actually laughed, in his face.

"I'm sorry what? Look here…Brett?"

"It's Brad," he said, his confidence slowly fading.

"Yeah whatever, look here Chad, I don't know who you think you are, but if you want to keep you 1 inch 'arrow', I suggest you backs the hells up afores I ends you", she said threateningly. Brad scowled and turned away, muttering curses under his breath, before catching sight of another girl and making a straight bee line towards her. Santana rolled her eyes and scanned the room to try and find Brittany again. She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around ready to cut the next bitch who was trying to get in her pants, when she saw Brittany smiling at her and holding out her cup to her. She went to take the cup before she remembered something. _Oh shit, I'm the DD. Fuck me_ , she thought. She groaned before shaking her head, and signalling she was driving by mimicking her turning a wheel. Brittany made and 'oh' face before she shrugged and downed the two cups, licking her lips and throwing the cups behind her. She leaned forward and whispered in Santana's ear.

"Well, since you can't drink, you might as well dance with me. That's the only way you're going to enjoy tonight," she said in a flirty tone, she smirked when she felt the brunette shudder, before nodding, unable to form a reply. In the back of Brittany's mind, a voice warned her not to flirt with Santana. _Why are you trying to get with her? You have a boyfriend, and if you get her to want you now, you won't be able to stop when she actually does come for you,_ Brittany thought, before another idea came into her mind, _oh please, I never stop her when she 'comes'_. Brittany's breath hitched and she pulled away from her friend's ear, before taking her hand and pulling her towards the dance floor. Santana followed dumbly behind her. Even though she hadn't drank anything, she felt drunk. She was drunk off of Brittany, everything the blonde did, Santana wanted more of. She relished in the fact that Brittany was dancing with her, and not out on a date with Artie. Even though Santana knew that if the blonde had a choice, it was so obviously going to be Artie. But she didn't care in that moment, all she thought about was Brittany dancing so close to her. So she grabbed her hips a little tighter, grinded a little harder, and whispered dirty things a little louder.

Brittany knew it was wrong, but she couldn't stop herself. She wasn't doing anything too intimate with the brunette, so she wondered why she felt guilty. _Because you don't care that you're not with Artie, as long as you're with Santana._ Brittany grimaced at the thought. The alcohol was fading away but she made no move to break the dance they were in and go to get another drink. She wanted to be close to the Latina, and she wouldn't stop that for anything. Still, she hated herself for feeling so strongly for Santana, when she already had Artie. He was a good boyfriend, and every time she was with him, she felt her feelings for him grow a little more. Santana wanted so badly to pull her towards the nearest room and fuck her senseless, but as she looked around the room; she caught eyes with Quinn, who was watching them dance. Quinn looked at her seriously, before shaking her head, as if to tell her no. Santana just rolled her eyes and kept dancing, ignoring the part of her that screamed Quinn was right. Santana was sticking to her plan, she was going to sleep with Brittany tonight, Quinn and Artie would never have to know.

All of a sudden the music was cut off, and the room was a lot less loud than it was before. Then Puck got up and yelled.

"Sorry guys, the neighbours called the cops. So uncool. They're shutting down the party; you guys gotta get out, now." He said, motioning towards the door. Santana groaned, _right when I'm about to do some crazy ass moves, you shut down the party?_ She yelled internally at Puck. Brittany turned around to face her and let out a laugh at her friends angry face.

"Come on hulk, let's go back to your place, we can watch some silly love movies or something. It is still V day," she said, linking arms with her friend and pulling them towards the door. Santana looked around for Quinn, who was holding hands with Sam and walking towards his car. _Thank god, now she won't yell at me for dancing with Britt._ Santana led them towards the car and got in; she turned on the engine and began driving towards her house. The car ride was silent, but not an uncomfortable one. Santana was thinking about why she felt things she never felt before when she was with Brittany, and the blonde was thinking why she still felt things for the brunette, things she was only supposed to feel for Artie.

They pulled up to her house and Santana mentally cheered, for once, at her empty drive way. _No interruptions,_ she thought happily. She opened the door and walked in, Brittany following her closely. Santana looked at the clock on the wall, it read 10:38. She was bummed out the party ended so early, but she was glad that this part of the night came quicker. They walked into her room and Brittany sat down on the bed. Santana walked over to her desk where her ipod sat and pressed shuffle, listening as the music filled the room. Then she remembered something.

"Oh yeah, I got you something for Valentines, you know, since we're always each other's. Or use to be anyway," she walked over to her bedside drawer, making sure to lean over Brittany, placing her hand on the upper region of the blondes thigh. She smirked when she heard her breath hitch. She pulled out a small box and bent back up straight, dragging her hand slowly off the thigh. She was careful not to show her smug smile when the blonde crossed her legs not so subtly. _Score one for Lopez,_ she thought.

"You-uhm-you didn't have to get me anything San" Brittany said breathlessly. _Why are you already turned on, all she did was put her hand on your thigh,_ Brittany chastised herself.

"Yeah well, too late," she shrugged, before smiling. "Open it!" Santana heard the song in the background change to a more slow and seductive ballad. She wondered how a song could so perfectly describe what she was feeling.

 _I just want to take you there  
He don't gotta know where_

Brittany opened it and gasped as she took out a beautiful necklace. It was a moon, inside a star. She looked at it closely and saw it had an engraving inside the moon, she read it out loud.

"B+S forever" Brittany said, unable to contain her grin, "I love it San, thank you." Santana smiled bashfully and looked at her friend.

"It was nothing, I'm really glad you like it." She said, looking her friend in the eyes. Their eyes locked and they stared into each other for a few seconds, unable to look away. Brittany felt hyper aware of her surroundings, especially the song playing. Santana's eyes flickered down to the blondes lips and she leaned in slightly. Brittany saw her coming closer, but made no move to pull away. She instead licked her lips and leaned in as well, waiting for them to meet halfway. _PULL BACK PULL BACK!_ Her mind screamed at her. Her heart was thudding like crazy but she didn't care, all she wanted was Santana's lips on hers. Santana couldn't wait anymore; she grabbed Brittany's neck and pulled her in, crashing their lips together. They kissed softly at first, before Santana picked up the pace and deepened the kiss.

 _Does he touch you here like this?  
Let me take the friction from your lips_

 _No, Artie doesn't touch me like this. Only she does. Oh crap Artie!_ Brittany opened her eyes, she hadn't realised her had closed them. She felt Santana push her back onto the bed, and Brittany suddenly jumped up, throwing Santana off of her.

"What the hell Britt?! What are you doing?" She said, looking at her friend who was now pacing the room.

"This is wrong, I shouldn't be kissing you. Oh god I just cheated on my boyfriend" she said worriedly. A part of her wanted her lips to be back on Santana's, and she hated herself fort thinking that when she only belonged to one pair. She just couldn't decide on whether they were Arties or the girl standing in front of her.

 _And I'mma love you girl, the way you need  
Ain't no one gon' stop us, ain't no one gon' stop us  
And I'm gon' give you girl, what you fiend  
I'm the drug in your veins, just fight through the pain_

 _Shit, she's not going to want to sleep with me if she thinks it's cheating. I can't let her do that, I need her too much. Quick, think of something, come on,_ she thought frantically, before spilling out the first idea that came to her.

"Wait, it's not cheating!" she said loudly. Brittany stopped pacing and faced her, confused.

"It's not?" She asked. Santana nodded slowly, forming the lie in her head. She walked over to the blonde and took her hands in hers.

"Yeah, 'cause I'm a girl, it's not cheating if we're both girls. It just two friends talking with their tongues super close" she said, trying to mask her blatant lie with fake confidence. Brittany saw right through it. She knew it was cheating, and she hated Santana for thinking that she could ever believe that. But she hated herself more for wanting to believe it. Brittany felt overwhelmed by feelings, she shook her head and ripped her hands from her friends. She bolted to the door, only to feel her wrist being grabbed as she felt herself get spun around. She hit the door with a thud and came face to face with the Latina. Santana backed her up until there was practically no space between them, and raised her hands up so they were leaning on the door, trapping the blonde. Her eyes were darkened, and she looked down at her lips several times. She leaned in and pressed her lips to the blonde's ear.

"You can't lie to me. If you really cared about cheating, you wouldn't have kissed me back. I know you want me. I told you already, it's not cheating." She whispered hotly. "Don't you want me to fuck you until you can't see, or walk? Until you're screaming my name, just like all those times before?"

 _He's what you want, he's what you want  
He's what you want, he's what you want  
I'm what you need, what you need, what you need  
I'm what you need, what you need, what you need_

Brittany felt her head spin as Santana pressed kisses down her neck and across her jawline, sucking on her pulse point before kissing it over. Brittany's hand gripped the door knob. All she had to do was turn it and it would all end. But she found herself loosening the grip on the doorknob with every kiss Santana placed on her neck. She knew it was cheating, she knew it was wrong, but she didn't care. Not one bit.

"We can do it, and you can go back to him tomorrow, nobody has to know. He can't do what I do, you know that. No one knows you like I do, no one knows you more than I do when my head is between your legs" Santana said seductively. She knew if she kept talking dirty, then eventually Brittany would crumble. A small part of her felt ashamed for doing this, for egging Brittany to cheat even though it wasn't like her to do so, but she was selfish. She needed the blonde, and she didn't care who she belonged to. As long as Santana had her in her bed, Brittany was hers.

 _I got everything you want with me  
I do everything he does times three  
And he don't gotta know_ _  
_ _I got you on the floor, doing things you never thought you'd do_ _  
_ _Baby, leave them high heel shoes  
Cause I love it when you're looking down at me, I'm looking up at you  
And I don't give a damn shorty, watch me knock your boots off_

Brittany swallowed heavily, before finding the courage to speak. Santana pulled away from her neck and at her with eyes so captivating. Brittany fought the urge to just jump her.

"Yo-you're sure it's not cheating?" She said, she already knew it was but if she heard it one more time, maybe then she would believe it.

"I'm sure" Santana said. And that was all Brittany needed. She grabbed Santana's neck and pulled her into a hot kiss, backing them both up until the hit the bed.

 _He's what you want, he's what you want  
He's what you want, he's what you want  
I'm what you need, what you need, what you need  
I'm what you need, what you need, what you need_

Brittany reached down and tugged on her shirt, which came off with ease. They never broke the kiss. Santana relished in the feeling. Brittany was hers. Fuck Artie, she was the one kissing Brittany, not him. _You're mine_ , she thought. She conveyed this thought by pushing the blonde down on the bed and straddling her.

 _He's what you want, he's what you want  
He's what you want, he's what you want_

 _You'll always be mine,_ Santana kissed harder as she felt Brittany's hand roam her back and sides. She pressed her lips to the blonde's neck and assaulted it, making sure to leave hickies and brusies. Anything to remind herself of this moment.

"Let me show you what he can't do," Santana said smugly. Brittany nodded breathlessly.

"Please…" she begged, trying to even her breathing. Santana smirked and kissed her way down the blonde's body, ready to show her what she had been missing those weeks they didn't do anything. She couldn't help but feel her heart break a little at the thought that in the morning, Brittany would go back to her boyfriend, and this night would be in the past. She would never be Brittany's, so she would just be what the blonde needed for the night.

 _I'm what you need, what you need, what you need  
I'm what you need, what you need, what you need_

* * *

Maribel and Antonio walked through the door, they saw Santana's car in the parking space but heard no noise from the house. The lights in the bedroom were on, but there was no sound. Or so they thought. Antonio turned to his wife and smiled smugly, "told you they wouldn't be doing anything, pay up sweetheart." Maribel rolled her eyes and reached into her purse when they froze at the sound of a familiar voice scream something that sounded a lot like their daughters name. Antonio frowned and moved closer, trying to figure out what they just heard. "That could be anything" he reasoned. Maribel stifled a laugh as they heard the thudding of a headboard against a wall, and some very risqué moans.

"Pay up. You just got schooled" She said, holding out her hand. Antonio grumbled and pulled out a $50 note. He pouted as he handed her the bill.

"Aw sweetheart, don't be sad. Come on lets go buy some ear plugs, I have a feeling they won't be very considerate tonight." She said, giving him a kiss as they walked out the door.

* * *

 _A/N **even though i didn't write them doing the deed i still felt really impure about writing that lol i think i need to bathe in holy water now. I'm not as kinky as i make myself out to be AHAAHA the song used was What You Need- The Weeknd. It's super good you guys should totally check it out ! Anyway thanks for reading, leave a review and tell me what u thought about it! ill see you guys next sat or whenever i update since im so inconsistent lol**_


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N **so i know i said that this chapter would be fluffy and i totally lied because i wanted to add something important to the plot and i couldn't if i wrote nice things but i guess overall it isnt that sad. Anyway hello im back and this time i updated on time! Are you excited? you better be i didn't break these asian fingers typing this out for nothing. Im totally joking anyway i hope you enjoy this ! thanks to everyone who reviewed/favourited/followed ! remember to leave a review if you're enjoying it or even if you arent! thank you !**_

* * *

Brittany's eyes fluttered open as she slowly woke up. She blinked a couple of times to rid the sleep from her eyes when she noticed something. The bed she was in felt heavier than all those other times. Then she became aware of the arm, attached to a very naked body, which definitely didn't belong to her, draped over the mid-section. She turned her head slightly and was met by a sprawl of dark hair covering a peaceful looking tan face. _She's still here,_ Brittany thought.

A part of her was ecstatic, it was a rare occasion that Brittany woke up and her friend would still be there. That only happened when they actually had sleep overs and all they did was slept, but it seemed like that was unlikely to happen again. She relished in the feeling of not being abandoned and moved closer to the sleeping girl. She closed her eyes and was about to fall back into a slumber when she heard a phone ping loudly. She eyed the Santana and smiled when the girl didn't move an inch, she had always been a deep sleeper. Brittany realised it was her phone that had gone off, and looked around the room to try and find it. She spotted it on the bed side table, and reached over carefully to retrieve it. Her stomach gave an unsettling lurch as she read the text, shame filling every inch of her body.

 _Artie: Hey britt! I just got back from my grandparents and went to surprise you at your house. I was thinking we could go to make up for you not having a good v day, but you weren't at home :(( Call me when you get this!_

Brittany felt terrible, while she was snuggling up to Santana, her boyfriend had been waiting for her outside her house to take her on a make-up date. She suddenly felt like she couldn't be in the bed anymore, next to her best friend, knowing what she had done the night before. She got up out of bed carefully, sighing in silent relief that she hadn't made a sound. She carefully picked up her clothes and ignored the way her head spun as she put them back on. Brittany walked over to the window and opened it silently, she looked back at her best friend and saw that Santana had now taken the pillow that Brittany had been sleeping on and held it close to her body, like she already missed the blondes presence in her state of unconsciousness.

Brittany swallowed thickly and turned back to the window, putting her legs over the sill and climbing out of it. She felt the overwhelming urge to cry, like she was letting down two people at once. She let down Artie by sleeping with Santana and using him to try and fall out of love with her, and she let down Santana by sneaking out on her. Though Santana did sneak out on her the majority of the time, Brittany just didn't think she'd ever be that kind of person. But with half her body out the window, she realised maybe she wasn't the innocent person everyone thought she was, and she hated herself for knowing that she was going to hurt two people she cared about. She felt tears roll down her cheeks, she wondered why she was even crying, and she hastily wiped them away. She pulled out her phone and sent a text to Santana, telling her where she had gone, and then she sent one to Quinn, telling her that she needed to talk to her. She felt like she was going to explode if she didn't talk to someone. She jumped down from the tree and onto the perfectly cut lawn, tears still streaming silently down her face. She quickly walked down the drive way and onto the street, completely oblivious to the pair of eyes watching her worriedly from the kitchen window of the Lopez house.

* * *

Santana opened her eyes and immediately felt the lack of presence in the bed. She had woken up way too many times before the blonde to memorize what the bed felt like when it had two people in it. She also memorised the feeling of utter shame whenever she silently left the room. Something she hated herself for doing so well. She sat up on her bed and felt an unfamiliar feelings sink and settle into her stomach. It was a mix guilt, shame and abandonment all at once. Her throat got thicker and it felt like she was going to throw up. _Is this what Brittany feels like every time I leave her before she wakes up?_ She thought. She suddenly felt a heavy weight get placed on her shoulders; _I'm such a fucking asshole._

She rubbed the remaining sleep from her eyes and detangled herself from the blankets. She reached over her nightstand and picked up her phone. Her screen lit up to display the time, it was 3:15 in the afternoon, and she wondered how long the blonde had been gone. She also saw two messages, one from Quinn and one from Brittany. She opened Quinn's first.

 _Q: good morning stupid bitch. I don't want to talk to you BUT I saw you dancing all up on Britt last night and let me tell you now if you slept with her I'm going to put a cage on ur lady bits. Later loser._

Santana rolled her eyes and replied with a very nice "fuck you" before she got out of the message and opened up Brittany's one. Her stomach sank as she read it.

 _B: I'm sorry I left in the morning. I didn't want to wake you up but Artie is back and wanted to go out. Call me later, if you can._

Santana pressed her phone to her head and sighed. She remembered every single detail about the previous night. How she gave Brittany the present, how she kissed her, how the blonde freaked out and tried to leave. How she then manipulated her into believing it wasn't cheating. How ashamed she felt after Brittany had fallen asleep with their limbs still tangled up in each other. Santana still felt the evidence of last night on herself, the sticky skin and sweaty smell still lingered on her. She got up and pulled out a pair of shorts and a hoody, before making her way to the bathroom. She stopped mid-way and listened for movement downstairs, she heard none and ignored the fleeting feeling of disappointment and she wondered why she wasn't use to yet. It's not like her family did the whole Saturday morning breakfast thing, then again, they didn't really do any kind of family things. Santana rolled her eyes at her own inner monologue and walked to the bathroom. She turned on the water and got in. The water was hotter than she would've liked but she made no motion to change it. The tingling sensation she felt on her skin made it feel like she was washing all the sins of last night away. She grabbed her wash cloth and scrubbed at her skin, trying to remove the betrayal she felt. _Brittany trusted me and I betrayed her. I betrayed her trust. She trusted me to tell the truth about cheating and I was too selfish to do that. I needed her too much and now she probably hates herself and me for sleeping together._ Santana scrubbed and scrubbed until her skin was pink, and the water significantly less hot than it was before. She wondered how long she was standing there. She quickly shampooed and conditioned her hair and got out before she was hit with water from the artic.

Turning off the shower, she stepped out and examined her body in the sink mirror. Her neck was covered in dark purple spots and there were scratch marks down her chest and on her shoulders. She felt dirty, for some reason. She just slept with someone who had a boyfriend, she felt like a side piece. Santana shook the thoughts from her head and dried herself off.

Santana walked out of the bathroom after drying her hair and brushing her teeth. She sat down on her bed and sighed, wondering what she was going to do today. She wasn't in the mood for an interrogation from Quinn, and Brittany was with Artie. _Oh shit Brittany,_ Santana remembered the blonde had asked her to call her. Santana picked up her phone and scrolled down to Brittany's name, her finger hovering above the call button before she quickly pressed it, as if she was ripping a band aid off. The line rang a few times before the line clicked through.

"Hey San" Brittany said, her voice was calm and collected but she was biting her lip nervously. She was currently at breadstix with Artie for lunch to make up for the lost date. She was grateful he challenged her to a drink off, and had to leave to go to the bathroom because he consumed a few sodas.

"Hey B, you asked me to call you in your text," Santana said, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. Brittany frowned for a minute, before remembering that in her hurry to leave the Lopez residence, she hastily sent her friend a text.

"Oh, yeah I did. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for leaving you so early, Artie was already at my house and I didn't want to keep him waiting," she said sheepishly.

Santana rolled her eyes and looked at her angry reflection in the mirror adjacent to her bed. She studied her expression for a second before letting it fall blank, unwavering and empty. "It's okay, I don't mind. It's cute that your boyfriend," she said that last word bitterly, "waited for you even at your house. We both know you like to sleep in, especially since we didn't get much sleep last night." Brittany cleared her throat awkwardly.

"Uh… Yeah, um so do you want to maybe hang out later on?" Santana smiled, happy that here friend still seemed to enjoy her presence," Artie has to go somewhere so I'm free after 5pm." Brittany left out the part where she was going to talk to Quinn later. Santana's face fell, _she only wants to hang out because Artie isn't going be around?_ Santana knew that wasn't the case but it didn't stop the mixture of jealousy and hurt rise up her throat and speak for her.

"I don't know, I might be busy, homework and all," she said in a monotone voice. Brittany picked up on it immediately, pinching her bottom lip between her fingers as she tried to figure out why the tone of her friend had changed.

"Is everythin-"Santana cut her off, her mouth opening even though her brain told her to close it.

"Yes I'm fine. I got to go, don't want to keep you on the phone while your boyfriend is waiting." Santana said sarcastically. Brittany felt anger bubble up in her, why was her friend acting this way? _Ugh, I'm so not in the mood for this._ Brittany thought.

"You know what? Whatever, if you want to keep being rude for no reason then you can do it in your own time. If you're done being up the butt later, then maybe we can hang out." Brittany retorted, before hanging up and shoving her phone back in her pocket. Artie wheeled himself back to their table and Brittany let herself fall into easy conversation, though, thoughts of Santana still lingered in her mind.

Santana heard the beeping sounds on the end of the line, signalling she was just hung up on. She rolled her eyes at no one and threw her phone down onto her bed. She dug her palms into the eyes and rubbed, as if that was going to relieve the internal battle she fought every day. It was getting exhausting, being around the girl who had Santana's heart so tightly gripped in one hand, while her heart was tightly gripped in Artie's. Every day proved more and more difficult, Santana felt her head constantly shrouded with thoughts of Brittany. Quinn knew she was struggling, she saw it in the Latina's eyes every time they all hung out together. How the brunette's eyes softened every time she looked at the blonde. How she treated and looked at her like she was the most important, precious thing that had ever lived.

Santana refused to talk about it anymore, telling Quinn she didn't want to talk about her feelings, and ending that topic immediately. Santana felt everything get heightened, she thought maybe it had something do to with the way her and Brittany had ended their conversation. Suddenly Santana didn't want to feel anymore, there was only one way she knew how to stop- by getting drunk. She looked at her bedside clock and saw it now read 4pm. _It's never too early to get drunk._ Her parents would definitely know if she drank from their collection, so she opted for a bar. She grabbed her phone, leaving her keys since she was going to be drinking. She grabbed her purse and grabbed some $50 notes that were stuffed inside, courtesy of her parents. The closest bar she could remember was probably a 20 minute walk from her house. Santana didn't care, she could use the walk to try and sort her mind out, before she got hammered. She double checked her fake id before throwing on a white t-shirt, some black jeans and a leather jacket, along with her shoes and heading out the door, destination? The Tunes bar and grill.

* * *

Brittany walked up the steps to the Fabray house hold; she rang the doorbell and rocked on her heels, waiting for the door to open. She hadn't even thought about what she was going to say, she didn't even know where to start. Before she could gather her thoughts, the door swung open to reveal a smiling blonde. Quinn grinned at her and pulled her into a hug, which Brittany reciprocated with ease. The shorter blonde led her into her room and sat down on the bed. Quinn couldn't help but compare this situation to the one she was in not too long ago, when Santana spilt the beans about her and Brittany. She wondered if the blonde was here to do the same.

"So what's up butter cup?" Quinn inquired. Brittany ran her fingers through her hair before smirking playfully.

"Are you trying to smash? If so then sorry to break it to you, but I have a boyfriend," Brittany said, narrowing her eyes while smiling. Quinn laughed and shook her head, patting the spot beside her on the bed. Brittany complied and sat down, opposite Quinn and crossed her legs.

"Okay, what's really up? Your text sounded kind of desperate, are you okay?" Brittany bit her lip, she wondered if she could tell Quinn. What would Santana say if she found out Brittany told Quinn what they do when no one is around. But Brittany's own inner turmoil was eating away at her. She didn't know what she felt anymore. Did she still love Santana? Did she love Artie? Did she love them both? Everything was hazy and she couldn't sort it out by herself, no matter how many nights she spent staring at her ceiling. She owed it to herself to closure on the matter. So here she was, sitting opposite Quinn, ready to expose her own feelings to someone other than her own reflection.

"Okay, where do I start? So…" Brittany began, explaining what Quinn had already heard from Santana.

* * *

Santana threw back another shot of tequila. Her effort to clear her mind through a walk had been fruitless, she no more or less confused about her whole life. She held her hand up to flag down the bartender, but frowned lazily when she saw the man who served her drinks missing from the bar. She swivelled on her stool, turning to face the rest of the bar when she saw her bartender on a stage she just noticed. The bartender was young, no younger than 25. His body was slim but built, he had brown eyes and even lighter brown hair. She had made small talk with him before she started drinking and for some reason he felt the need to tell her he was gay. Probably to stop her from hitting on him, though he didn't know she would die than ride a dick anytime soon.

He was setting up equipment, stereos, microphones, etc. Santana snorted, realising this was actually a karaoke bar. _Holy shit this would totally be one of Berry's wet dream settings,_ Santana thought, laughing out loud. She caught the attention of the bartender, who looked up and saw the girl who just stumbled in and drank her way through half his tequila bottle. He saw her ID but was still sceptical, but in this economy, he couldn't afford to lose a customer. He realised her glass was empty and dropped the microphone he was currently holding. Santana smiled happily at him as he refilled her glass.

"Whatcha setting up there, Mr Man?" She said swaying left to right, realising she had never asked his name. She laughed at that thought, she knew he was gay, which is usually a touchy subject, but didn't even know his name. Her bartender laughed, shaking his head.

"My name is Aaron, and I'm setting up the singing stage. You'd be surprised how many people sing when they're drunk" Aaron said, nodding towards the stage.

"Can-can anyone sing?" She asked him through glassy eyes. He moved to fill her empty glass again before nodding.

"Yeah, anyone can. Do you?" He asked, resting him palms on the bench.

"Yes I do!" she said clapping happily. He laughed again before nodding, switching her tequila for a beer.

"Calm down there, you sound like a high school student in a choir." _Jokes on you gay boy, I_ am _a high school student._ "You should sing tonight, if you're feeling up to it." Aaron said. He pulled out another beer before going back to setting up the stage. Santana contemplated this, before taking a swig of her beer and pulling out her phone, searching for the lyrics of the song she was going to sing.

* * *

"…And then last night, we hooked up" Brittany confessed, she felt a large weight lift off her shoulders. Quinn's eyes grew wide. _Santana you mother fucker_ , Quinn mentally reminded herself to punch Santana in the head. Brittany looked at her friend sceptically; Quinn was taking this whole thing suspiciously well. After Brittany had told her that she and Santana regularly slept together, Quinn just nodded as if it was common knowledge. She didn't press the subject further, thinking that she knew because she was their best friend and had somehow figured it out.

"Wait, you're still with Artie aren't you?" Quinn asked, raising an eyebrow. Brittany bit her lip and groaned, nodding and dropping her head into her hands. She raised her head back up and looked at the ceiling, sighing.

"Santana told me it wasn't cheating, but I knew she was lying. I just don't know why I wanted to believe her so badly." She said, shrugging her shoulders. Quinn nodded, not knowing what to say.

"Did you want it to happen?" She asked. Brittany contemplated this for a second, before nodding guiltily.

"I knew it was cheating, but a part of me wanted her so badly I didn't care anymore." She expelled. "I don't know what to feel, Artie is a great boyfriend and I really like him, but when it comes to Santana, it's just a whole other story." Quinn hesitated, not knowing how to ask her next question. She took a deep breath before asking.

"Do you think you have feelings for her, like beyond friendship?" Brittany frowned, a few weeks ago she was sure she was in love with the Latina, but now that she had Artie, she wasn't too sure. Did she just think she was in love with Santana because the brunette was her ideal person? Funny, smart, protecting, kind, etc. All those things described her, but they also described Artie. She was more confused than ever.

"I don't know anymore." She whispered.

* * *

"All right! Give it up for Santana Lopez" Aaron said, to the significantly larger crowd. It was now around 7pm, and the bar slowly filled up with more and more people. The crowd clapped as Santana made her way up the stage shakily, she had sobered up significantly, but was still pretty tipsy.

"Thank you, Mr Man," she said, winking to Aaron who nodded and handed over the microphone to her. "This is for anyone who ever loved someone that they knew weren't ever going to love them back." She smiled as her heard a few people cheer, and one say "amen". She nodded to Aaron, who pressed play on his laptop, she heard the instrumental to the song float through the atmosphere of the bar, and she let go.

 _And I hate to say I love you  
When it's so hard for me_

The crowd collectively gasped, taken aback by the voice of Santana. Usually the people who got up to sing just belted out something half assed. Aaron smiled widely. Santana closed her eyes and poured her heart into the song, as if she was singing it directly to Brittany.

 _And I hate to say I want you  
When you make it so clear  
You don't want me_

Brittany had Artie, she didn't want Santana, and she would never want her.

 _I'd never ask you cause deep down  
I'm certain I know what you'd say_ _  
_ _You'd say I'm sorry, believe me, I love you  
But not in that way_

Santana's raspy voice filled the entire bar, every pair of eyes were on her, singing her heart out. Aaron frowned, this song seemed to have a lot of meaning to her, and she sang it too emotionally for it to just be a favourite song.

 _And I hate to say I need you  
I'm so reliant, I'm so dependent, I'm such a fool_ _  
_ _When you're not there, I find myself singing the blues  
Can't bear, can't face the truth_

Santana felt like this song had been written specifically for her. She knew she was attached to the blonde. _Reliant, dependent, such a fool._ She wished she wasn't so enamoured by Brittany, she wished she could just stop feeling, stop her heart beating every time she was near…Stop loving her so much.

 _You will never know that feeling  
You will never see through these eyes_

She felt tears sliding down her face, and wondered when she had started crying. She opened her eyes and surveyed the crowd, who seemed to be in a trance. She felt a small burst of pride in her otherwise darkened mood.

 _I'd never ask you cause deep down  
I'm certain I know what you'd say_ _  
_ _You'd say I'm sorry, believe me, I love you  
But not in that way_

Some voices sang along with her, people tapped their foot to the beat and nodded their heads. Santana smiled at the crowd, and sang the last few notes as the music began to fade out.

 _You'd say I'm sorry, believe me, I love you  
But not in that way_

Santana let out a breath as the music came to a stop. Loud cheers and claps echoed throughout the bar and Aaron came back on stage, smiling happily. "Give it up for Santana Lopez" he called out. The crowd clapped even louder and Santana gave a small wave. She felt completely sober now. Her emotions were slowly kicking back in, especially after that heart felt song. Aaron turned to her and bent closer to her, whispering in her ear over the loud crowd.

"That was so amazing," he gushed. Santana smiled bashfully. "Listen, the crowd loved you, and I was thinking. How would you like to come back here, say every Saturday? That's our most busy day and I think with a voice like yours, you could really bring in some new costumers. We'd pay you and everything." Santana looked at him with surprised, was he trying to hire her?

"Wow… Are you serious?" Aaron nodded confidently. "I'd love to" She said breathlessly, giving him a big smile. He grinned and fist pumped the air.

"That's great! Come on, let's get you some drinks, all on the house" he cheered, grabbing her arm and leading her to the bar.

* * *

"I don't know anymore" she whispered. Quinn looked at her, and frowned. _Oh no, this is not good, this is so not good for Brittana_ , she thought sadly. Brittany shut her eyes and sighed.

"Do-Do you think it's possible to love two people at the same time?" She asked Quinn. The hazel eyed blonde contemplated this, before nodding slowly.

"You can love two people at the same time, but eventually you're going to have to choose. If you really loved one of them, you wouldn't have fallen for the other." She said softly.

"I don't know if I really love Artie or if I just want to love him because I can't love Santana. I don't even know if I love Santana either, or if I'm just in love with the idea of her," she admitted, Quinn quirked an eyebrow.

"Why can't you love Santana?" She inquired. Brittany looked at her incredulously.

"Because," she drawled out, before looking away distantly out the window," Santana wouldn't ever love me back".

* * *

Aaron patted Santana's back awkwardly. The Latina was currently sobbing into her glass hysterically, while going on about some blonde girl named Brittany. Apparently, Santana was an emotional drunk.

"And and I love her sooooo much but she doesn't know cause she's all over stubbles mc cripple pants. But jokes on you stubbles," she slurred out through sobs," I got into yo girl pants last night." She raised her fist in the air and pumped it. Aaron gasped and slapped her on the arm.

"Santana! Did you just say you slept with someone's girlfriend?" He asked dramatically. Santana snorted.

"Your sassy gay is finally showing, you're like a more handsome Hummel." She said, taking another drink. Aaron ignored that comment and shook his head.

"It doesn't even matter, she totally ditched me in the morning to go have a lunch date with her booboo" Santana said, waving her hand out dismissively. Aaron raised an eye brow, and laughed.

"Booboo? All right Santana Drunkpez, let's get you home. Is there anyone who can pick you up?" He asked her. He wanted to take her home, but seeing as it was only currently 8:30pm, he couldn't leave the bar. He raised his hand out to her as she grabbed at it, pouting when she couldn't find it. Tears welled up in her eyes.

"I-I-I CAN'T FIND YOU HAND, WHY DON'T YOU HAVE HANDS? DO I HAVE HANDS? OH GOD DO I HAVE HANDS?!" She looked down at her hands; Aaron started at her before shaking his head for the millionth time this night, and grabbed her arm.

"Give me your phone, who can I call?" He asked as she handed over her phone.

"Ooh Ooh! Call my 2nd best friend, the one with blonde hair." She said grinning at him like a child.

"You mean Brittany?" He asked puzzled. Santana felt her eyes begin to water. Aaron's own eyes widened, realising he was about to send her into another crying fit.

"No, Q-Q-Quinn, the blonde I don't hook up with." She said though sobs. Aaron nodded and quickly dialled her number, praying she would pick up.

* * *

"Because," she drawled out, looking away distantly out the window," Santana wouldn't ever love me back" Quinn shook her head, this seemed like some sort of never ending circle, Santana didn't think Brittany would love her, vice versa.

"That's not true" Quinn said, pointedly. Brittany looked back at her, why did her friend say that with such confidence? Did she know something Brittany didn't? She was about to answer when the sound of Quinn's phone ringing startled her. Quinn picked it up and frowned, it was Santana, and usually she never called her. She answered the phone and was met by the blaringly loud sound of what sounded like a bar. The person on the line spoke and it was most definitely not Santana, she asked where she was. Aaron explained who he was and told her that the brunette in question was currently crying over a coaster with a leprechaun on it. Quinn shook her head and asked for the address, thanking him and telling him she'd be there in 10 minutes.

"What's wrong?" Brittany asked as Quinn bustled around the room, getting her purse and some plastic bags in case Santana puked.

"It's Santana; she's weeping at some bar, drunk out of her mind. We gotta go get her before she starts a fight or something. "Quinn said rolling her eyes. Brittany smiled a little and nodded, following her friend out the door and into the car. The drive was silent, both girl in deep thought as the pulled up to a moderately good looking bar. Through the glass window that was out front they could see Santana siting on stool, holding up a coaster and crying to a guy they presumed was Aaron. Brittney giggled before getting out the car, Quinn following.

Quinn walked in first and Santana immediately spotted her, her expression did a 180 and she grinned happily, jumping off her stool and into Quinn's arms.

"QUINN!" Santana cheered, her expression fell slightly as her eyes caught Brittany's. Suddenly she felt like crying again. She let go of Quinn's body and barrelled into Brittany's.

"Britty Boo, I'm so sorry I g-got angry at you before" she pouted adorably; Brittany smiled and shook her head. "I just got jealous and sad because you said you wanted to hang out because Artie was going out. I felt like a second choice" Brittany frowned at her, _jealous?_

"What? San that's crazy, you're never going to be a second choice to me, I'm sorry I made you feel like that" she said honestly. Santana beamed up at her and held her even tighter, making Brittany stare down at her lovingly, smiling before leading her out the door. Quinn and Aaron watched the scene before them unfold, and they both wondered how the two could be so in love with each other without realising the other person reciprocating their feelings.

* * *

Quinn stopped at Santana's house. Turning off the engine and checking the time. 9:20pm. Quinn looked in the rear view mirror, watching Brittany lazily stroke Santana's face while the brunette was sleeping with a smile on her face.

"Britt," Quinn whispered, the blonde looked up and nodded in question. "We're here, do you want me to help you bring her up, then I can drop you home?" Brittany shook her head.

"I think I'm going to stay with San tonight, she gets sick in the middle of the night when she drinks, and she's going to be still too drunk to know where she is" Brittany said quietly. Quinn nodded and got out of the car, helping Brittany carry Santana to the front door.

"Thanks Quinn, you really saved her butt," Brittany said, smiling down at Santana, who slumped on her shoulder. Quinn nodded and smiled back at the view. _Brittana is so full force,_ she mentally cheered. They said their goodnights and Brittany heaved Santana up to her room, stripping her of her clothes on putting on fresh pyjamas, before tucking her in and getting all the supplies ready if she needed to be sick. She stroked the hair out of her eyes and sighed, looking down at the peaceful Latina, she felt her heart strings tug. She turned away to get some water when she felt slender fingers wrap around her wrist and tug at her. Brittany turned back around and saw Santana looking up at her pleadingly.

"Wait, don't go. Stay, please?" She asked with such innocence that Brittany found herself disregarding the water and climbing into the bed sheets with her best friend. "Hold me?" Santana mumbled softly, Brittany smiled and nodded, wrapper her arms around her friends small frame and holding her close. Santana turned to face her, tucking her head under Brittany's chin, and placing her arms on the blonde's midsection. Their legs were tangled together. They both drifted off into a peaceful sleep, wrapped in each other's arms.

* * *

Antonio Lopez crept up the stairs, and opened the door to his daughters room, hoping to catch her awake to see if she wanted some late night pizza. He was greeted by an even better sight that pizza, he saw his daughter and her best friend wrapped so tightly together that they almost looked like one person. _That is way too close to just be friends. No one cuddles like that without feeling something_ , he thought to himself. He took out his phone and snapped a picture, sending it to his wife who was currently out getting the aforementioned pizza. His phone buzzed and he smiled reading the odd text from his wife.

 _Wifey: aww, they look like a chocolate and vanilla swirl 3 :))_

* * *

 _A/N **song used was sam smiths- not in that way. That song makes me cry all the time rip me lmao. Anyway what did you think? Leave a review home skillet** s **ill see you guys next saturday! later skaterz**_


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N **hey guys, i hope you enjoy this somewhat happy chapter before i break your hearts with my next one lol, my hearts already broken and i havent even written it yet. Anyway fav/follow/ review and all that good stuff! Ill see you guys next week and thank you so much to everyone whos commented, it really means a lot to me that people actually like my stories! later skaterz**_

* * *

Santana woke up with a pounding headache and some severe confusion. She woke facing what was certainly a body, and she prayed she didn't bring someone home in her state of drunkenness. Those concerns were wiped away as she realised the chest she was currently buried in was fully clothed. She moved her head slightly, in order to catch a glimpse of the person she was cuddled up with. Her heart soared when she saw her best friend sleeping peacefully, arms tightly wrapped around the brunette's waist. _She's so beautiful,_ sh _e_ thought dreamily. That thought brought a pang to her heart and she gave a bitter tight lipped smile toward herself. She slowly unwrapped herself from Brittany's grip and huffed out of the bed. Her head ache pounded and she wondered how much she had drank. She vaguely remembered herself singing, getting offered a job, and then drinking until she went into the emotional state. _Oh my god the coaster_ , she groaned as she remembered the ten minutes she spent crying because the leprechaun was so cute. She pinched her eyes closed, not seeing the leather jacket from last night discarded right in front of her. Her foot caught it and her eyes widened as she took a plunge to the floor, landing with a loud bang.

"Mother fucking what the fuck," Santana hissed from the floor.

"Jesus San are you okay?" Santana jumped and turned her head towards the bed, where Brittany sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Santana's breath hitched. She surveyed the sight in front of her, Brittany's face and hair was illuminated by the sun streaming through her window. It made her face glow and her hair shine, she looked like an angel. Santana thought that in that moment, when the blonde was wearing one of Santana's baggy hoodies, rubbing sleep from her eyes as the blanket pooled around her waist, she looked more beautiful than ever.

"San? Are you okay? You've been staring at me really weirdly," Brittany mumbled sleepily. Santana smiled, forgetting her pain.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just fell." Brittany gave an airy laugh. "Good morning Britt Britt." The blonde smirked at her and raised an eye brow.

"Don't you mean 'Britty Boo'?" She teased. Santana looked at her with a confused expression before she remembered in her drunken haze; she had called her friend by that name. Santana groaned and dropped her head into her hands. She raised it when she heard the blonde chuckling. "Good morning to you too San," Brittany smiled sweetly.

Santana's heart melted and she smiled back goofily, suddenly she had an idea. "Hey do you want to do something today? We didn't get a chance to hang out yesterday 'cause… You know" she said sheepishly. Brittany smirked again.

"You mean because you were busy doing 'homework'" she said, using her fingers as quotation marks, "when you were really getting drunk at a bar?" Brittany cocked her head to the side challengingly. Santana nodded guiltily, shrugging her shoulders.

"Is that a yes?" Santana asked, hoping she didn't sound too desperate. Brittany nodded and Santana clapped happily.

"What are we doing?" The blonde asked as she pulled back the covers and got out of the bed, walking over to her friend who was still on the ground. She held out her hands and Santana grabbed it, using it to stand up. Brittany felt a jolt of something she couldn't quite place run through her, and just as quick as it arrived, it was gone when Santana dropped her hand. Santana ran her hands nervously through her hair and tried to play off the uncomfortable feeling that ran through her when she touched Brittany's hand.

"It's a surprise" she said mysteriously, trying to keep her smile at bay. Brittany pouted but accepted it. "You go get ready and I'll make some breakfast or something." The blonde nodded and got up, walking over to the bathroom while the brunette made box mix pancakes and played them off as her own.

* * *

"Please tell me where we are going," Brittany said, pouting when she didn't recognise where they were going. Santana pretended to consider the question, making the blonde's eyes shine with hope. She smirked and shook her head, and Brittany deflated.

"We've been driving for a pretty long time. If you're about to kill me you should know I have incredible reflexes and I could turn the tables on you" Brittany warned playfully. Santana laughed, and Brittany's heart pumped three times faster at the sight and sound of her happiness.

"First of all, where we're going is a little far because Lima is a shit town with barely anything fun to do. And I know you're incredibly strong, especially with those thighs, I mean you've used them to flip me and straddle me more times than I can count" Santana said causally. Now that Santana had 'convinced' the blonde that it wasn't cheating to sleep with her, she wanted Brittany now more than ever. Something about Brittany not being hers made Santana want to prove that she was hers, through scratches and hickies so dark Brittany would be layers of foundation to cover it up.

Brittany tightened her grip on the seatbelt and felt a wave of heat pass over her body. She cleared her throat awkwardly, and was about to reply when her eyes caught sight of a large building that seem to come out of nowhere. It was an aquarium.

"Holy San! You brought me to an aquarium?!" Brittany asked with glee. Santana nodded and captured this moment in her head, where Brittany was smiling so widely all because of her. She wished that look could've lasted forever, it was pure heaven. Santana's mouth twitched and her small smile dripped with love, her eyes more soft than ever. Brittany grinned and got out of the car, running over to Santana's side and opening the door for her, yanking her friend out and into a hug.

"Ooft" Santana winced as her friend crushed her in the hug, but she made no move to untangle herself. She smiled and hugged back. "We always go feed the ducks and I thought maybe it's time we go see other sea creatures." Brittany felt her heart explode and burst with love, she wondered if she would have felt this happy if Artie had brought her. Her smile faltered slightly at the thought of Artie, but then Santana pulled back and shot her a goofy looking grin and Brittany forget who Artie was entirely. She grabbed the brunettes hand and pulled them towards the entrance.

Brittany looked in awe at all the sharks that swam by her. Santana followed closely and stared at nothing but the blonde, she wanted to remember everything about this moment, it was picture perfect, and Brittany was picture perfect. The blonde looked back and saw her friend looking at her, she smiled at Santana, and when the brunette smiled back, Brittany's heart stopped. The blonde took out her phone and pulled Santana closer to her, and just as a shark swam by, she snapped the picture.

"Lets go see the stingrays San!" Brittany said enthusiastically. Santana smiled and made a bold choice, she reached out, and instead of tangling a pinkie together, she laced their hands together. Santana felt panic shoot through her at the gesture she just made, but that all faded when Brittany squeezed her hand and dragged her towards the stingray exhibit.

 _She's so perfect,_ Santana thought absentmindedly

* * *

The girls were at the aquariums gift shop, Santana had slipped away to find a present for the blonde, when an old woman tapped Brittany on the shoulder. She whirled around to face the woman with a confused face.

"I'm sorry to scare you dear, I didn't mean to. I just wanted to tell you how lucky you were to have someone like that in your life" The lady said, eyes twinkling. Brittany stared at her confused.

"Have who in my life?" She asked. The old woman only smiled at her sympathetically.

"That young brunette lady of course!" She said like it was the simplest thing in the world. Brittany's heart skipped a beat.

"Santana?" She asked hesitantly, looking around to see if she could see her friend. The old woman nodded and smiled.

"Yes yes that Santana. She looks at you like you're the most amazing thing in the entire world. Why, I haven't seen someone look that in love since my late husband was alive. She's a keeper, I'm telling you now." The woman said, reaching a hand out and tapping the blonde's cheek. "She looks like a tough cookie, but I can tell she has a special place in her heart, if not her whole heart, for you." Brittany didn't know what to say. How would this lady know anything about Santana and her feelings? Even Brittany, her best friend for years, couldn't always decipher how the brunette was feeling at all times. Could this lady be mistaken? Love? Santana and she were very close friends; maybe she got it mixed up. A part of Brittany hoped she didn't get it mixed up. Before she could answer though, felt Santana slide up next to her, holding a bag.

"Hey there Britt Britt," She said, smiling at her, she glanced at the lady and gave a polite smile. Brittany noticed the bag and raised her eye brow curiously.

"What's in the bag San?" She asked. Santana only grinned at her before reaching in and pulling out the cutest stuffed stingray she had ever seen.

"I know you totally love stingrays, because you think they're always smiling, and today was super awesome so I thought I'd get you something to remember it by. So long as you name it after me" she said proudly. Brittany grinned so hard that Santana thought her face would split into two. Brittany engulfed her friend in the tightest hug imaginable and flushed when she made eye contact with the old lady, who mouthed, _See what I mean?_ At her with raised eyebrows. Brittany only smiled back and hugged her friend tighter; nothing could stop the feelings of confusion and anxiousness that seeped through all the good ones. They broke away from the hug and Santana laced their hands together again. Tugging them towards the exit.

"We should go, before the aquarium finds all the other stuff I totally just jacked from them" She said hurriedly, looking around before ripping them out of the store.

Santana dropped Brittany off at her house, smiling when Brittany gave her the usual kiss on the cheek and thanked her again for the stuffed stingray. Santana wanted her retreating figure and sighed, gripping the steering wheel as a flurry of emotions hit her like a hurricane. She so needed to hit up Tunes Bar and Grill again.

Brittany closed the front door behind her and immediately called Quinn, reciting the day's events, including the old lady. Quinn listened with calmness, but really she was smiling like a school girl at the thought of Santana taking the blonde out on what was essentially a date. Brittany went to bed that night with Quinn's words in her mind.

"Just talk to her about it, you won't get any answers if you never ask the questions."

* * *

Brittany sat in front of Santana's make up table, watching Santana tie up her hair for her. They had just done some pretty sinful things for around, two hours? Being a dancer gives you some crazy stamina, something Santana had learnt after the first time they went for, like, six rounds in one night. Today was probably almost one of the worst days of her Santana's life.

* * *

 _FLASH BACK_

 _Santana made a bee line straight to Brittany's locker. She felt people's eyes on her, ever since Quinn, Brittany, and her had quit the cheerios, Santana had felt more vulnerable than ever. Though losing her social standing was way better than losing Brittany, which would've happened if she had been shot out of a cannon. Santana casually slid up next to Brittany, put of her seducing smirk, hell bent on getting it on with her friend, who, in her opinion, had gone way too long without sleeping with her._

 _"_ _Hey Britt Britt. So listen. How about you and I pop in some Sweet Valley High this afternoon, and get our cuddle on?" She said smirking that oh so beautiful smirk. But it faded when Brittany looked at her apologetically._

 _"_ _Look, I'd really like to get my sweet lady kisses on, but I haven't been feeling very sexy lately," Santana raised an eye brow in confusion, and Brittany looked at the ground and sighed, elaborating. "I think I have a bun in the oven. Please don't tell anyone, okay? Especially not Artie." And with that, Brittany gave her a tight lipped smile and walked off. Santana stood rooted to her spot, her heart clenching and twisting evilly. Her world was crashing down on her. Brittany? Pregnant? With a mini stubbles? Santana didn't know what to do, her throat was closing up and she felt what she was one hundred per cent was jealously, run through her veins and claw at her stomach. She was so going to kill stubbles._

* * *

Thankfully that had been just a false alarm, and Santana couldn't have been gladder that Brittany wasn't in fact, carrying a mini version of Spongebob Cripplepants. In celebration of Brittany not being impregnated by what Santana was sure would be the Anti-Christ, she invited the blonde over to her house where she went down on her until she came four times consecutively and couldn't feel her own legs, which Santana had been especially proud of. But the moment was over and now Santana was tying up Brittany's hair and pushing back the sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach when she wondered if this was all it was ever going to be between them. Honestly, Santana was scared shitless, scared that she could be in love with her best friend, scared she could be in love with another girl, scared she could be in love at all. But then Brittany smiled at her once and all those worries disappeared before reappearing every time she was away.

"I want to talk to you about something," Brittany said suddenly, Santana looked at her through the mirror and gave her a confused expression. "I really like when we make out and… Stuff" Santana suddenly had a panicking feeling, was Brittany trying to put an end to this? Why would she say she liked it then? Santana wondered if it was the problem about cheating again, and felt the need to reassure her.

"Which isn't cheating, because…?" Santana asked. Brittany looked at her through the mirror with an expression she couldn't place. Brittany saw that Santana needed what looked like, reassurance?

"The plumbing's different" Brittany said robotically, the more she said it, the more she fooled herself into believing it. Santana hummed in approval, tightening the blondes pony tail before moving to reapply the lipstick the blonde had smudge off when she shoved Santana up against the door and kissed her senseless. "But when Artie and I are together…" Santana resisted the urge to vomit at the thought of someone else touching Brittany," We talk about feelings and stuff." _Uh oh, where is this going?_ Santana thought wildly.

"Why?" She asked, masking her fear with indifference.

"Because with feelings it's better" Brittany said simply. Santana felt her walls build up again. She was s _o_ not ready for the feelings talk right now. Her throat closed up and she did what she always did when something uncomfortable was brought up on her, she deflected and defended herself from any chance of being hurt.

"Are you kidding? It's better when it doesn't involve feelings, " which was partly true, if they fucked and Brittany didn't know how she felt, vice versa, then nothing would change, and she would settle for that if it meant they could still be together. "I think it's better when it doesn't involve any eye contact." Santana shrugged and went over to her bed, picking up stray pillows that had fallen when the blonde came so hard she couldn't keep her limbs in order.

"I don't know" Brittany drawled out, trying to choose her words carefully. "I guess I don't know how I feel about _us_ " She said honestly. Santana bit her lip and sighed internally, _I guess that makes two of us_ , she thought bitterly. What was happening? They went from some really hot and heavy fucking, to some really hot and heavy feelings. Santana didn't like where this conversation was steering, what was Brittany trying to imply? That they could have some kind of relationship? She didn't know whether that thought scared her more, or made her happy more. But if Brittany was saying they could have a relationship, then that would imply… _Oh hell no, Santana lopez does NOT do labels._

"Look, let's be clear here. I'm not interested in any labels. Unless it's on something I shop lift," Santana said, trying to lighten the dense atmosphere. Brittany didn't laugh, she only sighed.

"I don't know, Santana. I think we should talk to someone. Like an adult. This relationship is really confusing for me." _Oh what the fuck_ , Santana thought. She was surprised; did Brittany actually want to talk about seeing someone? _Oh shit oh shit, deflect, and change the subject, anything!_

"Breakfast is confusing for you," Santana said lamely, Brittany pondered this for a moment before answering.

"Well, sometimes it's sweet and sometimes it's salty. Like, what if I have eggs for dinner? Then what is it?" She asked, but gave no time for reply. "Doesn't matter, I really want to talk to someone, being confused isn't fun, I don't want to question this anymore. Please? We can just talk to someone once and if it's silly then we won't do it again. Please, for me?" Santana furrowed her brows, she wanted to say no, for the sake of her heart telling her she might be setting herself up for heartbreak. But this time Santana didn't listen, if Brittany felt something, then that's why she must want to talk to someone, right? Santana needed answers too, she needed to get rid of this sickening feeling in her stomach.

"Okay, I guess we can, but it has to be Ms Holliday, I can't stand Ms Pillsbury." She said shaking her head. Brittany squealed and jumped up, hugging her friend. She pulled back and kissed Santana deeply, thanking her for agreeing. Santana returned the kiss and well, round five, here they go.

* * *

The finishing melody of Landslide drifted through the choir room, and Santana hastily wiped her eyes, giving Brittany a tight lipped smile. The blonde returned it and looked at her with unabashed love.

"Is that how you really feel?" Brittany asked, hesitantly. Santana lifted the corners of her mouth and wiped her eyes.

"Uh huh, yeah" she said, getting up to hug Brittany. Santana felt a weight lift off of her, like she just exposed a part of herself she waited so long to set free. Then Rachel Berry opened her mouth and Santana felt that part sink back into her and lock itself up.

"Look," Santana spat harshly, "just because I sang a song with Britt, doesn't mean you can put a label on me. Is that clear?" Rachel's smile faltered and she nodded. Santana gave one last fleeting look at Brittany before going to sit down, missing the way Brittany's eyes flashed with disappointment, something Quinn didn't miss. Santana stared at the ground in front of her, _what's happening to me?_ She thought, she was scared, so so scared. She knew the answer was in front of her, but her mind fumbled and she couldn't seem to grasp it. Like an itch on her body, no matter how many places she scratched, they were all close but none of them were _it._

Brittany took a seat next to Artie, everything was fine until Rachel had said something. Landslide was a really romantic song, and Santana had said she really felt that way, so why did she get so defensive? It was then that Brittany realised something, Santana was scared. She was so scared that someone would judge her that she would never be ready to admit what she so obviously felt now. Brittany didn't know if she could wait around until Santana was ready, because she had someone who was ready, someone who was proud to call her theirs. In the end, it came back to the same old question.

Santana or Artie?

* * *

Santana was staring at her bed room ceiling when her phone rang, knocking her out of her internal battle. She grabbed her phone and saw it was Quinn; she smiled slightly and picked up.

"Hello this Lima's very own sex phone line, how may I help you?" She said in a professional tone, she heard Quinn's laugh on the other side of the phone.

"Very funny ass hat, but jokes on you, I already have that number saved" Santana gagged.

"Told you, it's always the jesus loving ones" Santana said, fake disappointment in her tone.

"You're gross. Anyway, what was up with that song you and Britt sang today?" Quinn asked bluntly. Santana rolled her eyes; trust Quinn to have no boundaries.

"Nothing, we just sang a song because she wanted to" Santana said, trying to sound casual, it was mostly true. It was Santana's idea to sing, and the song was pretty deep and heartfelt.

"Quit talking shit and tell me what's really up," Quinn said pointedly. Santana could tell by the tone of her voice she wasn't joking around. She sighed and rubbed her eyes, her heart was about to combust, and maybe it was time she gave into her feelings?

She took in a shaky breath and opened her mouth, her stomach was filled to the brim with butterflies and she willed herself to speak. "I think *deep breath* tha-that" she cleared her throat and Quinn sat in her bedroom holding her phone and biting her nails nervously in anticipation of what was about to come, "I'm in love with Brittany." Santana felt an enormous weight lift off her heart as the words rolled around in her mouth, she smiled slightly and said it again, more confidently. "I'm in love with Brittany." The words felt foreign, but so right. And Santana smiled a genuine smile when she heard Quinn scream on the other line.

"YES HOLY SHIT IT'S ABOUT TIME BRITTANA, BRITTANA!" Quinn shouted happily. Santana laughed at her friend's silliness, but silently thanked her for making this so much easier. She loved Quinn for her support and her endless shoulder to cry on. Quinn really was the most loyal person she had ever met, aside from all that cheating.

"All right settle down, you silly cunt" Santana said, rolling her eyes when Quinn was taking deep breaths.

"Okay sorry sorry, I'm just so excited, " her tone suddenly turned serious, " are you going to tell Brittany?" Santana hesitated, was she? Brittany had Artie, would she really just drop him for Santana.

"Of course she would, Brittany loves you, and I'm pretty sure the only reason she dated Artie was to make you jealous," Quinn remembered what Brittany had told her before, how she might have been in love with Artie, she just didn't know yet. Quinn disregarded this though, because if Santana told her she was in love with the blonde, then they were for sure going to get together, it would be a sin against nature for them not to be. "Trust me, she loves you, you guys are meant to be together, everyone can see it. She's your soul mate, San, and you're hers. You guys are endgame." Santana felt her heart strings tug, she knew it right then and there that Brittany was her soul mate, her first true love.

"Yeah, endgame" Santana repeated, smiling into the night. She was starting to believe Quinn, they did belong together, it was always Brittany and Santana, or Santana and Brittany.

"I think, I think I'm going to tell her tomorrow," Santana said, nodding resolutely into the darkness of her room. Quinn squealed again on the other line and Santana smiled, but she felt another heavy weight replace the one that had just left, and now Santana knew what it was.

"Quinn?" She asked softly. Quinn furrowed her brow, her friend suddenly sounded so scared, so naked.

"I'm… I mean I think, I'm, uhm…. G…" Santana stumbled with the words; unable to physically say them, but Quinn caught on, and smiled into her phone.

"I know San, I know. And I love you all the same; you're still Santana to me. You're still you, just the way you should be. "Quinn said honestly. Santana choked back a sob, so grateful for someone like Quinn, even though she didn't say the words; she knew that one day she might be able to.

"Thank you Quinn, you don't know how much this means to me, how much you've helped me, thank you," Santana said, Quinn was slightly taken back, it wasn't every day the cold hearted Santana Lopez thanked somebody, so meaningfully as well.

"It's okay Santana, I love you too," Quinn said, smiling through her phone. Her smile grew tenfold at the thought that in 24 hours' time, her two best friends might be together. They said their goodnights and hung up.

Santana dropped her phone on her bed and stared up again at the ceiling, like all the answers were painted on them, and they were. There was only one thing she could think about now, only one answer she held.

Tomorrow, she was going to tell Brittany S Peirce that she was in love with her.

* * *

 _A/N **i ship it so fucking hard lol leave a review if u enjoyed it !**_


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N **hey guys. i know i updated like 3 days ago but i wrote this chapter early because i thought that i wouldn't have time and i finished it and i'm really excited about it so um well here's the 'sexy' pt 2 chapter. I hope you guys like the way i wrote it i tried to make it realistic cause in a lot of fics they go back to being best friends in like 2 days and it was even worse in the show like? So in this one it's gonna take a little time for Santana to become friends again. But yeah i hope you like it and thanks to everyone who fav/follow/reviewed! y'all are amazing.**_

* * *

You know those times in your life, where you wonder if your purpose on this Earth was to end up as a person in someone's past story, like a terrible ex or a bad break up. Or when your life is just so messed up you wonder if this is what God planned out, and you hate him so much for putting you through such immense pain. Those feelings, that heartbreak and confusion and hatred, we all experience it. Someone of us get hit with it more than once, and some of us are lucky enough to get a watered down version. And everyone tells you that time would heal all wounds, and that sounds good, in theory. But time takes a while, and every day gets longer and your heart doesn't get stitched up. People say it gets better, and that you're still young and you're not going to remember it being so bad in twenty years. And you know that's true, one day you're going to get over the heart ache, but 'one day' isn't right now, and you still find yourself staring up at the ceiling with tears threatening to spill out as you hate yourself for opening up and getting yourself hurt.

Opening your heart up to someone can be the best thing that's ever happened to you, or the worst. Unfortunately, for Santana Lopez, it was for the worst.

* * *

Santana took a deep breath; she was excited, nervous, scared, she felt everything. _You can do it, just tell her how you feel_ , Santana wondered where she got all this courage from, she couldn't believe she was actually about to tell her best friend she was in love with her. Memories of last night swam through her head.

* * *

 _FLASHBACK_

 _It had been an hour after she had gotten off the phone with Quinn. An hour since she confessed her love for Brittany for the first time out loud, and hour since she opened her heart up. The feeling was like she was high up but falling at the same time, she wondered if this was a good thing, a normal thing. Santana looked over at her clock and saw it read 11:30 pm. She closed her eyes in an attempt to quell these feelings, but as she was drifting, she heard a knock on her door. Cracking one eye open, she told the person to come in. The door opened swiftly to reveal her mother. Santana smiled, she hadn't seen her parents for quite some time._

 _"_ _Hello mija,"her mother said, walking over and sitting on the edge of her bed._

 _"_ _Hey mami, is there something you need?" Santana asked, a bit confused as to why her mother just came into the room._

 _"_ _Aye, can't a mom talk to her mija without wanting something?" Maribel jokingly scolded, "For your information, I just wanted to check up on my daughter, I haven't seen you in a while." Santana smiled and sat up, moving closer to her mom._

 _"_ _I'm all right mami, my life is no less good or worse," she said, somewhat honest. Maribel looked at her daughter in the eyes; she saw hesitation and nervousness in them._

 _"_ _You sure about that, mija? I know you, you're my daughter, you can tell me anything," Santana hesitated, she didn't know whether her parents would react well if she told them that she was in love with Brittany, a lot of parents don't react well to that sort of thing. So she bit her tongue, stopping the words from coming out, she'd tell them when she was sure everything was okay._

 _"_ _Yes, I am sure. I know I can tell you anything, but there isn't anything to tell," Santana lied. Maribel looked at her sceptically, but accepted the answer. She smiled and squeezed her daughters hand, nodding. She made a move to stand but Santana stopped her._

 _"_ _Wait," Maribel looked at her and sat back down, Santana wondered how she could put what she was going to ask in words, and said them slowly, "how do you know for sure if you're in love with someone?" Maribel fought back a smile; she really hoped this had something to do with Brittany. She feigned confusion and asked Santana to elaborate._

 _"_ _Say you knew someone, and they were everything you ever wanted," Santana said, trying to think of the right words. Maribel's eyes shone with hope, "But, if you guys got together, a lot of people wouldn't like it. And what if she- HE," Santana tried to cover up her mistake, hoping her mother didn't hear. She did, but gave nothing away to imply she did, "H-he already had someone. But the person is perfect for you, would you tell them you're in love with them? How would you know you are?" Maribel pondered this for a moment, she was about ninety eight per cent sure that her daughter was talking about Brittany, but if Santana had felt comfortable saying that then she wouldn't have left names out purposely._

 _"_ _Love can be the most simple or confusing thing mija. You can't just say you're in love with someone just for the sake of being in love. The person you should fall in love with should be happy with you, just you. They should make you laugh, make you comfortable, make you be yourself, "Santana smiled slightly when the first thing that popped into her mind at the description was Brittany, "They should be your love, and your best friend," Maribel emphasised the last word as a hint, "They should be your mirror." Santana thought about this for a second, before cracking a smile._

 _"_ _Thank you, mami." Santana said, honestly. Maribel only smiled, kissed her on the head and told her to get some sleep, before walking out and closing the door. Santana didn't sleep though, she got up and walked to her desk, turning on the lamp and pulling out a book no one knew about, not even Brittany._

 _It was her song writing book. She had never shared the fact she loved singing more than anything, and saw her future as nothing else but her and a microphone. That was her dream, though around her parents she led them to believe that she would par take in a fundamental business like law or medicine. So far there were no pages filled, but that night, Santana Lopez wrote her very first song, entitled 'Mirrors'._

* * *

Quinn saw Santana walking through the halls on her way to Brittany's locker, and ran up to her.

"San! Hey" she said giving her a big smile. Santana returned it shortly, her nerves getting the better of her. "Hey, don't worry, you've got this. She's loves you too, I know she does, it's written in the stars." Santana gave her a tight lipped smile, and focused on the hall in front of her. Quinn knew she wasn't in the mood to talk right now, and she understood it. Santana walked to her locker and frowned when she didn't see Brittany there, usually they went to their lockers together and then walked off to class together, seeing as their schedules were the same. _She's probably with Artie_ , the thought made her stomach churn. The bell sounded and Santana rolled her eyes, not exactly enthusiastic about learning about the properties of metals in chemistry.

Santana shuffled into chemistry, and spotted Brittany sitting in their usual seats. The blonde was in deep thought; something about yesterday was bothering her. After they had sung landslide together, Brittany had gone home and done some heavy thinking. She came to the conclusion that she was wrong in thinking Santana could ever fully reciprocate her feelings. It was clear to both of them that they felt something for each other, singing together just proved it. But Santana was scared, she would just announce to everyone that she was in love with her, and Brittany knew that she couldn't wait around until Santana was ready. She loved Santana though, more than words could describe, and if she was being honest, more than Artie.

Santana plopped down next to Brittany and smiled.

"Hey Britt, why the serious face?" Santana asked, noticing her friends slight frown. It was barely noticeable and Brittany wanted to smile at the thought that her friend could read her emotions so well.

"Oh um…Just…Chemistry is hard," Brittany lied. Santana looked sceptical but accepted that answer, running a soothing hand up and down Brittany's back. That action made her heart explode.

"Don't worry about it, I'll help you. I'll be your very own tutor," Santana announced proudly. Brittany laughed and nodded.

"You've been my tutor for like, ever." Santana winked, and opened up her note book, ready to take down notes. She spent the rest of the lesson focusing on the information.

She ended up actually focusing on Brittany instead.

* * *

 _What the actual fuck_ , Santana thought as she walked out of the auditorium. She just heard the Celibacy club preform the weirdest song for a Celibacy club ever. _Miss Pillsbury is insane_ , she thought. She saw Brittany at her locker, and Santana's mouth twitched with a smile. _This is it_. Santana went to take a step when she felt a strong pair of hands grab at her shoulders. She whirled around ready to fuck a bitch up when she stopped out of pure confusion.

"Puck?" Santana asked, like she couldn't believe he was about to talk to her. Ever since he and Lauren got together, they hadn't talked for weeks. That slightly bummed Santana out, because Puck was pretty cool when he wanted to be. Overall, aside from his obvious using of Santana, he was a good friend, fiercely loyal. Except that time he slept with his best friends girl and got her pregnant, but you know, details.

"Hey Santana," Puck said smiling. Santana narrowed her eyes. _Why is he talking to me?_

"Did Zizes kick you out on your ass? Is that why you're crawling back to me? Bad luck Puckerman, I don't want to hook up with you anymore," she said, disgusted. She felt a little guilty when Puck seemed to be genuinely hurt by that, but she chalked it up to his pride being hurt by her not wanting to sleep with him anymore.

"What? No! Lauren and I are alright. That's not why I wanted to come and talk to you though. Believe it or not, but I care about you," Santana scoffed, and Puck rolled his eyes. "Look, I know you don't think I do, but being with Lauren kind of changed me, I guess I'm trying to be more friendly. And you're my friend, San." She smiled a little, but her cold features returned instantly.

"And you're telling me this because…?" She asked, waving her hand in the air to accentuate her question. Puck rolled his eyes again and adjusted his bag strap.

"Because, I know you're lonely," Santana looked at him incredulously, _the fuck?_ "Britt is shacked up with Artie, and Quinn is all over Sam. You've kinda got no one. And I know that sucks. I'm just saying, if you want to hang out, then I'm here or whatever. No strings attached, promise." Puck said, he looked genuine, but Santana was sceptical. Still, that offer did sound nice, and she did sort of miss him a tiny bit.

"Thanks Puck, maybe we can hang out sometime, I have to go, there's something I have to do right now," He nodded and gave her a childish smile; he patted her on the back before jogging down the hall. Santana turned around and saw Brittany still at her locker, putting books into it.

She walked up and took a deep breath. _This is it, just like you practiced, don't worry, she loves you too._

"Hi," Santana said, Brittany looked up and returned the greeting.

"Hey" Brittany was slightly concerned, her friend looked like she was on the verge of tears.

"Can we talk?" Brittany's heart stopped, _why does she want to talk? She never wants to talk._

"But we never talk," Brittany said, turning to put her books in her locker. Santana took a deep breath, willing herself to continue.

"Yeah, I know, but I wanted to thank you for singing that song with me in glee club." Santana said, _start off basic, you can do this, come on._ Brittany both loved and hated where this conversation was going.

"Yeah," Brittany said, waiting for her to continue what was sure to be something neither would forget.

"'Cause it's made me do a lot of thinking. And what I've realized is why I'm such a bitch all the time. I'm a bitch because I'm angry. I'm angry because I have all of these feelings-," Brittany's heart stopped again, _oh my god, is she about to tell me she l…? "_ Feelings for you – that I'm afraid of dealing with, because I'm afraid of dealing with the consequences. And, Brittany, I can't go to an Indigo Girls concert, I just can't." Santana said, taking another shaky deep breath. Brittany was freaking out now, was Santana really about to do this? Brittany wanted to scream with happiness, Santana was finally admitting what she felt, finally reciprocating her own feelings. But then Brittany remembered Artie, her boyfriend. And suddenly this moment didn't seem so happy anymore.

"I understand that," Brittany said. Santana frowned at her lacklustre response, but continued anyway.

"Do you understand what I'm trying to say here?" Santana asked, trying to keep the tears that were forming in her eyes from spilling. Brittany pondered this for a second, because Santana was still kind of confusing.

"No, not really," Santana looked at the hallway, trying to gather her thoughts. She took another deep breath and opened her mouth, the words spilling out.

"I want to be with you," Brittany heart broke and soared at the same time, "but I'm afraid of all the talks and the looks. I mean you know what happened to Kurt at this school." And there it was. The reason why Brittany couldn't be with Santana, she was too scared. Santana needed time to figure out who she was, and the added pressure of having a relationship with Brittany in secret would be too much, for the both of them. Brittany made her decision right then and there; she knew whose heart she'd have to break.

"But honey, if anyone were to ever make fun of you, you'd either kick their ass or slash them with your vicious, vicious words," Brittany said, trying to help her friend come to terms with the fact she didn't have to be scared.

"Yeah, I know, but I'm so afraid of what everyone will say behind my back. Still, I have to accept that… I love you. "Santana said honestly, tears free falling. She did it, she told Brittany she was in love with her. That gave her more confidence, and she missed the way the blonde's eyes flashed with heartbreak and apology. "I love _you_ , and I don't want to be with Sam, or Finn, or any of those other guys. I just want you. Please say you love me back. Please." Santana waited, praying that this was the moment that everything in her life would be okay now. That she'd be able to kiss Brittany, and make love to her, all with feelings. That she'd be able to finally call Brittany hers.

Brittany felt torn, this was everything she every wanted to hear, but she couldn't, she just couldn't break Arties heart. And she couldn't be with Santana when she knew they wouldn't be able to go out in public as a couple, or go to school as one. They'd be just like they were before, hidden in the shadows. So Brittany did what she knew would ruin everything between them, she broke Santana's heart. "Of course I love you, I do," Santana felt her heart speed up, Quinn was right; they were going to be okay. But then Brittany hesitated, and Santana felt her heart slowly crack open with fear. "And I'd totally be with you if it weren't for Artie," Brittany said, her face conveying apology. Santana's face crumpled with hurt, _Artie? But Quinn said she just dated him to make me jealous…_

"Artie?!" Santana hissed, heart slowly breaking.

"I love him too, I don't want to hurt him it's not right, I can't break up with him" Brittany said, seriously. _No NO NO, you love me more, please no, please tell me you love me more PLEASE!_ Santana felt the world go dark and a disgusting feeling rip through her body. It was getting hard to breathe, and Santana couldn't believe she ever thought that she'd finally be able to be happy. She couldn't believe could have trusted people when they said that Brittany would love her back. Because even though she did, she loved Artie more. _She loves Artie more than me; she's choosing Artie over me._ Santana felt anger rip through her.

"Yes you can! He's just a stupid boy," Santana said, hurt and anger lacing her tone. Brittany felt tears building up, Santana looked so broken.

"But it wouldn't be right, Santana you have to know, if Artie and I ever were to break up, and I'm still lucky you're single…" Santana felt vomit rise up, _What am i? A second choice? A constellation prize?_ Brittany reached forward to take Santana's hand, but Santana pushed it away, if the blonde touched her she would've crumbled into a sobbing mess in the hallway, and people were already looking at her.

"Don't," she choked out, shaking her head and wiping away tears.

"I am so yours. Proudly so," Brittany said, honestly. That didn't matter to Santana though, all she knew was that she confessed her love, Brittany chose Artie over her, and broke her heart. And now Santana was angry, and she never wanted to see Brittany again.

"Yeah, well, wow. Whoever knew being fluid meant you could be so stuck," Santana said bitterly. Brittany looked hurt, but Santana didn't care, nothing could compare to the heartbreak she was feeling at that very second.

"I'm sorry. Don't. I'm sorry," Brittany said helplessly, she reached out and tried to hug Santana, only to get pushed back hard. Santana seethed at her.

"Get off of me," she spat, before taking once last look at her now broken friendship, and walking away from the blonde. Brittany watched her retreat but made no move to follow. _I love you too, San. I'm sorry._

Neither of the girls saw a pair of eyes watching the entire conversation next to a locker a few meters away, her smile fading more and more as she watched Santana's facial expressions, before dropping completely when Santana stormed away. _Oh no…_ Quinn thought worriedly.

* * *

 _Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot. Breathe in, and out, and in, and out,_ Santana recited in her head, her mind had kicked into auto pilot, driving her body out of the school while a flurry of emotions took over her. Nothing felt real, but then again everything felt real. She felt numb, except for the crippling emotional pain that hurt so bad it turned into physical. She swallowed thickly as she sped walk to her car. She froze when she heard a voice call out to her, her ears picked up the voice but didn't make it out, and she prayed it wasn't the blonde who had so recently ripped her heart into shreds. But it wasn't, it was Quinn.

"Santana wait!" Quinn yelled out, running up to her. Santana's auto pilot kicked in for her before she could make a decision, _run, don't look back. You don't have anything to look back for,_ so Santana bolted, running quickly to her car and ignoring the calls of her friend. She pulled the door shut and revved her engine, slamming down on the reverse and speeding past her friend, she looked at her just in time to see the concern and sadness etched across Quinn's face. Santana didn't care though, whatever Quinn was feeling, Santana was feeling ten times more.

Santana sped down the street to her house, thanking god that her parents weren't home for once. She dragged her body out of the car and through her front door. She was met by the silence of her house, and for a second she had forgotten why she was even at home. Then she remembered. _'I would totally be with you if it weren't for Artie…I love him too… I can't break up with him'_ the words swam in Santana's head and her breathing got heavier. Tears were streaming down her face and her heart wrenched in the worst way. She slid down in front of the door as sobs wrecked her body, making her convulse. She couldn't remember when she had last cried this hard, then she realised she had never cried this hard, no one had ever made her cry this hard. No one had ever broken her heart.

Santana caught her blurry reflection in the tiles on the floor. The tile was slightly blurry but she could make out her features somewhat well, like a dirty mirror. She saw the way her eyes was red, and the way her chest was heaving up and down to replace the oxygen that she had denied her body when she was crying. Her reflection disgusted her. _This is what happens when you open up; this is what happens when you love._ Santana heard a voice say. Suddenly something changed in her, like a switch. She felt her heart clench with pain before subsiding into a dull ache. She watched her own facial expression fall blank, like something had taken over her; she had no control of what she was doing. _It's going to be okay, you're going to make sure this never happens again. This will never happen again._ The voice filled her mind was soothing yet eerie words, and she listened. She felt her walls build up and cement into place, knowing that no one would be able to break them down now, not since the only person to have ever seen past all, was the reason she had now put up new ones.

She was never going to let anyone break her, break her like Brittany did. And now she had a plan to do that.

* * *

Santana made her way up to her room after sobbing for another hour on the floor in front of her front door. She heaved herself up the stairs and opened the door with weak hands. She caught her reflection in the actual mirror and winced at the way she looked. She shook her head and took shaky breaths. Her feet dragged across the floor as she fell onto her bed, closing her eyes shut and praying for sleep to take over her, so she could be relieved of the pain.

Her eyes started to close when she heard a frantic tapping at her window. She froze, only one person ever knocked on her window. _Brittany,_ Santana curled up on her bed, pulling herself further away from the window. Her bed was pushed up against the wall, and the window was on the same wall a meter from the end of her bed. Brittany could only see the end of the bed, not the full one. Santana knew this, and so she pulled herself to the head of the bed and curled up, listening to Brittany plead for her to open the window.

"Santana?! I know you're in there; your car is in the driveway. Quinn said she saw you leave. Santana, I'm sorry, please, please don't shut me out. Just open the window and we can talk more. Please?" Brittany begged. She waited and waited, but no sound came from the window. "I know you think I don't love you, but I do San. Just because we can't be together doesn't mean I don't love you. I just can't hurt Artie, he hasn't done anything to deserve his heart getting broken," _And I have?_ Santana thought bitterly. She felt tears start to rise again, and sobs broke out into the room. She couldn't do this, she needed to send Brittany away, if she didn't, she'd fall into her arms and that's not who she was anymore, she couldn't open herself up. Not again.

She got up off the bed and walked shakily to the window. She caught sight of Brittany and stopped, but instead of her crumpling like she thought, she felt herself go stony. Brittany's breath hitched as she saw Santana, her heart clenching as she watched her best friend look at her with eyes so cold, and an expression so stoic. She looked like a mess, and it hurt to know the she had caused it. Santana walked robotically towards the window and stood in front of it.

"San…" Brittany breathed. Santana only looked at her coldly, and shook her head slightly.

"Leave, I don't want to talk to you. Go. Now." She said in a monotone voice. Santana felt nothing as she watched Brittany's face flash with hurt.

"No! San we need to talk, just open your window," Brittany begged. Santana merely looked at her with the same expression, before speaking in the same tone.

"I said no, there's nothing to talk about. You need to leave." And with that she grabbed the curtains and shut them, blocking out the light and Brittany. She turned away and looked at herself in the mirror, smiling slightly.

It scared her that she was smiling at herself for being so cold.

* * *

Santana hadn't shown up to school the next day, and the day after, and the day after. She recounted her week. On Friday she had gone to Pucks valentine day party and then hooked up with Brittany, on Saturday she had gotten into a fight with her former friend and had gotten drunk at a bar that she had been offered a job at, on Sunday she took Brittany to the aquarium and made the plan to tell Brittany she loved her. On Monday she had gotten her heart broken. It was Friday now, and Santana's parents were getting suspicious. They hadn't seen their daughter come out of her room; she hadn't eaten and barely said a word. Santana didn't open her door to anyone, telling them she was busy and she'd talk later, when she was really either crying her eyes out or staring at her phone watching it light up endlessly with texts and calls from Brittany.

Quinn, and sometimes Brittany, came over every day afterschool, banging on her door for minutes and blowing up her phone before getting frustrated and leaving, only to do it again the next day. Santana pulled on her cheerios uniform, which she had gotten after she went back to school on Thursday, but after hours, when she knew no one would be there. She went into the coach's office and bluntly asked for a spot back, which Sue gave over after examining Santana and making her swear she would never pull a stunt like that again. Santana had nodded and remained stoic, not even flinching when the coach raised her voice. She picked up her uniform and left without another word. If she wore the red and white, no one would come near her, she wouldn't have to let anyone in. It was the perfect plan.

Santana parked her car in the car park; she tightened up her pony tail and straightened out her uniform. She took a deep breath and slapped on her expressionless face, and got out the car. Whispering filled her ears and she walked through the halls, but she neither scowled nor hid away, she just walked. It was no doubt that everyone knew her and Brittany had had a massive fight, and Santana hadn't shown up to school in three days and now she was wearing the cheerios uniform again.

"I heard her and Brittany aren't friends anymore." She heard one person whisper.

"She's back on the cheerios, and apparently she's going to be head cheerleader again"

"Have you seen Brittany lately? She looks devastated" Santana felt a small pang of hurt when she heard about her former friend being so upset, but she quickly blocked it out and went up to her locker, relishing in the way people moved for her. She opened up her locker when she heard a timid voice say her name.

"San?" Brittany breathed out. She hadn't seen her friend, if she could even call her that, in three days. That was a long time for them, and they hadn't spoken since Monday, when she showed up to Santana's house. Brittany was miserable, she needed her best friend, and she hated that she caused her so much hurt. But Brittany didn't know what to do anymore, she thought she was doing the right thing but now it didn't seem so right. Santana's heart sped up and she chastised herself for being affected by the one word her ex friend had said. _Remember the plan_ , she thought over and over again. Her features remained hard and she took her books, not sparing Brittany a single glance and she closed the locker and turned away, walking off to her first class. Brittany felt her heart crack; _she didn't even look at me._ Brittany shook her head; she was going to have to try harder.

* * *

Santana walked down to her first class, chemistry. _Oh fuck me dead, all my classes are with her, I need to get a new sea_ t _._ She waited until the bell rang and the halls emptied out, that way she knew her class would be full and there would be no way that Brittany would be able to sit next to her if she didn't first. Sure enough the class was already in their usual seats and she walked in, much to the teacher's dismay and much to the students delight, everyone wanted to know how much the infamous Latina had changed. All eyes were trained on her and she walked flawlessly into the room, expression never wavering.

"Miss Lopez, care to tell us why you are late?" The teacher said, seeming to want to make a show out of this. Santana didn't flinch though; her face gave away no clue as to what she was thinking. Then she spoke.

"Coach Sue held me back; I had to pick up on new routines. If you have a problem with that, you can take it up with her," she said challengingly, her monotone voice scared the teacher a little, "though I doubt she'd be very happy you're taking her precious time for something as trivial as lateness." The teacher cleared his throat awkwardly, nodding a few times, trying to figure out what to say.

"Well, uhm, okay then, take a seat Miss Lopez. I take it you've done chapter 4?" Santana nodded and eyed the apple on his table, "Very good, well you can sit now, don't be late again." Santana nodded again and swiftly took the apple on his table, the class gasped a little. She bit into it and smiled at the teacher.

"Gotta keep my diet up, coach Sue is a real bitch about that," she winked, before throwing the barely eaten apple in the trash. She swallowed the last bits and turned away before he could say anything, surveying the class. Brittany was sitting at their usual desk, eyes full of hope. Santana ignored this, and made her way to the back seat, where Puck sat alone. She put her books down and smiled a little when Puck shot her a happy grin.

"Hey San," Puck greeted happily. Santana merely opened her books to write down the days heading.

"Hi," she responded bluntly," I didn't realise you were in this class." Puck feigned hurt.

"And here I was thinking you chose all the classes I'm in cause you totally dig me," Santana cracked a small smile and shook her head.

"Do you work, Puckerman," Puck smiled a little but looked at her with concerned eyes. She was different. He had heard whispers about the fight but no one knew what it was about, and in glee club Brittany looked devastated, kind of like how she did when Santana sat next to Puck rather than her old seat.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Santana hissed, "Take a picture, it'll last longer," Puck held his hands up in defence.

"I… Just wanted to see if you're okay. I meant it when I said I care about you, and everyone knows about the fight between you and Britt," Santana opened her mouth to respond it was none of his business, but Puck cut her off. "All I'm saying is you are different now, and not in the good way, if you ever need to talk, I'm here. Really." Santana stared down at her writing, before replying.

"Thanks," Puck smiled, but that fell when she continued, "but I don't need it." They finished the lesson in silence.

* * *

Santana stood at her locker examining her time table; she was relieved to know that all of her classes included Puck, but she wasn't sure if she could sit with him for all. Cutting off Brittany unfortunately meant cutting of Quinn as well. It was lunch time now and her last period of the day was English. She groaned when she remembered she had cheerleading practice afterschool , and she'd have to work extensively hard to make sure she caught up with routines.

"Santana," a voice startled her out of her thoughts. She closed her locker to find Quinn staring at her.

"Yes?" She asked putting her time table away and tightening her pony tail. Quinn examined her friend, she looked flawless, but her eyes gave away a haunting pain. "Are you going to stare at me all day? Because I'm kind of hungry and I heard the cafeteria is selling bread sticks." She made a move to turn away but Quinn grabbed her arm. Santana sighed, _why can't people just leave me alone._

"I know about everything that happened, I listened a few lockers down," Santana scowled at her, _eaves dropping bitch,_ "You're miserable San, I can tell. Just please talk to me, I haven't seen you in days and we're all miserable, even the Glee club isn't the same." Santana looked at her friend, her mouth twitched with a smile but the voice in the back of her head reminded her that it was Quinn who convinced her to tell Brittany she loved her. _You don't need her, she has Brittany, and you don't need her._ Santana's mouth fell back down and her features grew cold.

"Thanks for the pep talk, but the last time you gave me one, it ruined my life," Quinn looked hurt, and opened her mouth to reply but the speaker system cut her off.

"SANTANA LOPEZ REPORT TO THE COACHES OFFICE. NOW." She heard Sue's voice boom. Santana rolled her eyes and pinched them closed. She sighed before straightening up, not looking at Quinn who was still trying to figure out what to say.

"Excuse me," she said bluntly, brushing past her friend and making her way to the coach's office. Quinn watched her go with defeated eyes.

* * *

Santana said motionlessly in front of Sue, she didn't look nervous under the coach's extensive eye. The coach examined her before nodding resolutely.

"I take it you have learnt the routines and caught up with the schedule?" She asked, never breaking eye contact. Santana held the stare just as hard.

"Yes coach." She said with a firm nod. The coach nodded her head in approval, before sighing.

"This team hasn't been the same since you three left, but I'm glad you are back," Santana's eyes winded slightly, it wasn't every day Sue told you that she was glad to have you," If I want to win another championship this year, I'm going to need your full one hundred per cent dedication. Is that clear?" Santana nodded. The coach looked over her features, there was no doubt something was different, she seemed more determined, yet more cut off from the world.

"Well then, as you know our head cheerleader, Melissa, is the biggest disappointment I've ever seen. As a result of her not knowing how to do a simple roll, you will take over her spot. Congratulations, head cheerleader. Even with your doughy boobs, I'm sure you're going to lead us to another national win," Santana looked slightly shocked, before a smile graced her features.

"Thank you, coach," she said, her voice betraying a hint of earnest. Sue merely nodded and waved her hand.

"Today's practice is cancelled, to give you time to prepare new routines, I guess you can go to sad losers club" Sue said in a bored tone, "Dismissed," Santana nodded and walked out of the office and spotted two cheerleaders. She called out to them.

"You and you," she said pointing to them, they looked at each other with wide eyes and slowly made their way to her. Santana rolled her eyes, "god, I hope you don't spread news as slow as you walk. You better pick up your pace, if you want to stay on the squad." They looked at her with a confused expression. Santana sighed and shook her head.

"I'm your new head cheerleader; tell everyone, I want no one confusing me for that bag of bricks Melissa. Do it now." She said threateningly. The two girls looked at her with wide eyes and nodded dumbly, before racing off down the hall and telling the first people they saw. Santana smiled in triumph. The plan was working well.

* * *

Brittany sat nervously in the seats of the choir room, barely listening to her boyfriend ramble about something or the other. She waited and watched for the Latina to come through the doors. Quinn walked in and smiled sympathetically at her friends hopeful and then disappointed features. She was slowly giving up hope that Santana and she would be best friends again.

Twenty minutes into the class, the door swung open to reveal a smug looking Santana. She strolled through the door and stopped in the middle of the room. Everyone went silent. Mr Schue looked a little shocked, before clearing his throat.

"Santana! It's good to have you back again, you haven't been to glee in three days," Santana rolled her eyes.

"Yes, I can count." She replied bluntly, staring him right in the eyes, "I had some troubles that kept me away from school, but it's okay, I have resolved them. They mean nothing to me anymore." The entire club looked at Brittany, who had a heart broken expression on her face. Mr Schue looked at Brittany briefly, before replying.

"Well, it's good to know you're back, right everyone?" The choir room sounded with mumbled agreement. Mercedes spoke up more.

"Damn right girl, it's good to have you back. Ain't no one duet with me the way you do girl," Santana cracked a small smile. Mr Schue laughed nervously.

"That's great and all, but why were you so late today?" He asked seriously. That same smug smile that she had when she walked in graced her features again, and she smirked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well…"She drawled out," that's because I was in Sue's office. You're looking at your new head cheerleader," she pointed to herself proudly. Mercedes whooped and so did Puck. The others whispered and murmured. Quinn spoke up.

"What? Are you serious? Why would you want anything to do with Sue? After she was about to shoot Brittany…" Everyone stared at her wide eyed, and Santana's smile dropped, a seething scowl replacing it, "Out of a freaking cannon. Did you forget?" Everyone turned to Santana, who glared angrily, Brittany shrunk in her seat. The brunette opened her mouth to reply but Puck stepped in.

"Lay off Fabray, she got head cheerleader 'cause she deserved it. That cannon thing was ages ago and I'm sure San would stop anything like that from happening again. You were head cheerleader when that happened and you didn't stop it did you?" Quinn huffed and Santana smiled a little, he turned to her and threw her a grin. "Congrats, San," she gave him a wider smile and mouthed thank you. Mr Schue looked around awkwardly, and cleared his throat. Santana ran her fingers through her hair and went to take a seat next to Puck, ignoring Lauren's angry eyes. She leaned over and whispered to him.

"Thanks Puck, what you did was pretty cool." Santana said honestly. He smiled back at her.

"You're my friend, I got your back," he said coolly. Santana rolled her eyes but smiled a little, unaware of the pair of piercing blue eyes watching them intensely, and a little jealously.

"Lame," she said, Puck held his hand over his heart, and then she got an idea. "Hey, listen I got this job a few nights back singing at this bar. They totally think I'm in college or whatever but if you wanted to come and I don't know, hang out? It's tomorrow." Puck thought about this, before giving her a childish grin and nodding his head.

"Awesome! I'll be there, drinking with you is always fun," Puck said happily. Santana smiled, grateful she was finding a friend in Puck.

Brittany watched Santana whisper and smile at Puck, and felt burning hot jealously rip through her. She thought Santana didn't like Puck; she thought Santana was in love with her. _It doesn't matter, you shouldn't be jealous. You made your decision,_ Brittany reminded herself. That decision didn't seem so right anymore.

* * *

 _A/N **So... what did you think? Too bitter? Not bitter enough? Also the song that she 'wrote' will appear in a later chapter so i just want to point that out. Leave a review if you enjoyed it ! laterz skaterz**_


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N **i'm starting to wonder if i should just update** **whenever i want to add chapters because when i end up writing new ones i can't wait to post them lmfao, i've written like 3 chapters in advance and let me tell you now, they do not get any happier. But it's okay cause it's going full AU in a few chapters i already have it planned out so i think you guys are gonna like it. Anyway here's this chapter i hope you guys enjoy! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, it means a lot! Hope you like it!**_

* * *

Brittany slumped down face first into her pillow and sighed. Santana hadn't even looked at her, let alone spoken to her that day. The classes seemed longer and harder with her best friend. Quinn was in a few of her classes but she could never focus when she knew Santana was just a few seats behind or in front of her. Brittany picked up her phone and scrolled down to Santana's number, praying that maybe she would pick up. Her prayers were left unanswered as she heard the voice mail float through her ears.

"Hey this is Santana Lopez, sorry I couldn't come to the phone so if it's important lea-"Brittany smiled a little when she heard her own voice on the line.

"San who are you talking to?"

"No one Britt, I'm making a voice mail,"

"Voices don't have mails, they don't even have houses. Wait is the phone their hous-" Brittany heard the voices get cut off by the beep, signalling she had to either hang up or leave a message. She sighed for the nth time that day and ended the call. Santana had yet to call her back or reply to her hundred messages, it was clear that she didn't want anything to do with the blonde. Brittany wasn't going to give up though, she needed Santana in her life, and she felt bad that she was being selfish, but she couldn't function without her other half. She scrolled down further and found Quinn's name, pressing the call button she anxiously waited.

"Hey B," Quinn said happily. Brittany smiled, she could always count on Quinn to pick up, and she was glad the other blonde didn't hate her for what happened with Santana.

"Hey Q, what's up?" Brittany said causally, flipping over onto her back and fiddling with her sheets.

"Nothing much. How are you? Santana was pretty rough today, are you okay?" Quinn asked softly. Brittany felt her heart ache a little.

"I don't know Quinn. I get that she's hurt and mad, but she's acting like she doesn't even know me, like we haven't been best friends since the day we met," Quinn frowned sympathetically; she could hear the sadness in Brittany's voice. Quinn didn't know what to do, on one hand she was mad that Brittany had broken her best friend's heart and made her recoil, but on the other she understood why Brittany had done it. Everything was more confusing now.

"Yeah, it sucked to see her like that. She looks strong but you can tell she's broken inside. She's using her cold exterior to pick up her own pieces," Brittany bit her lip and pinched her eyes closed. When did things get so difficult?

"I don't know what to do Q," Brittany said, on the verge of tears," I miss her so much. I miss Santana."

"I know B, me too," Quinn said sadly, "me too."

* * *

Puck's cab stopped at a rickety looking bar, and he frowned at the sight, double checking the address. The cabbie looked at him expectantly.

"You going to get out or stare at this place all day bud?" He said sounding bored. Puck grumbled and pulled out a few bills, skimping on the tip. He got out and shut the door before the man could protest and went inside, puffing his chest and straightening up in order to look older than he was. He walked inside and smiled when he spotted Santana helping a young looking man set up what looked like a stage.

"Lopez!" Puck called out, waving his hand. Santana looked up and smiled happily. Puck noted that he had been here for less than a minute and saw that she looked happier here than she did at school where he saw her for six hours. She dropped the microphone cord and told Aaron she was greeting a friend. She jumped off the stage and walked over to him.

"Hey Puck, you made it!" She said cheerfully. A little too cheerfully, Puck examined her and then laughed.

"Holy shit San, you already get some liquor in that tiny body of yours?" Santana dusted off her shoulders cockily.

"Benefits of working at a bar," Puck shook his head, impressed.

"So it's true? You got a job here?" Santana nodded her head," Damn Lopez, are you mixing drinks or something?" Santana shook her head and pointed to the stage.

"I sing here on Saturdays," Puck looked at her wide eyed. He knew she had a good voice from glee, but he didn't realise she liked singing outside of school. Santana checked the time. 6:34 PM, she nodded, the bar would start to fill around 7 so she had time to set up and then have a few drinks before she sang.

"Want a drink?" She asked, leading him to the bar. He rolled his eyes as to say _duh_ and followed her. She turned to the stage and waved her hand to Aaron, who finished adjusting the speakers and jogged over with a big smile on his face.

"Hey there lady killer," he said winking at Santana, he turned to Puck and put on a more formal attitude, "and hello to you too, what can I get you?" Puck ordered a beer and Santana ordered the same. "You know what you're singing tonight San?"

Santana nodded and beamed proudly. Puck thought she looked happier than she did in days. "Yes I do, my friend here, Noah Puckerman, came to see me."

"What about Brittany? Didn't she want to come to see you?" Santana's facial features hardened and Puck looked around awkwardly.

"Brittany isn't my friend anymore, she didn't really, reciprocate _things_ like I did," she said vaguely, remembering that the last time she was here she drunkenly spilt all her feelings to the bartender. Aaron caught on and smiled at her sympathetically. Puck looked back and forth between the two suspiciously. _Something's up_ , he thought.

Aaron went to go serve other customers; the bar was starting to fill now. It was gradually getting louder.

"So, what are you singing?" Puck asked as he took a swig of his beer. She pulled out her phone and showed him the song.

"You know this song?" He nodded.

"Yeah I do, but that's a pretty sad song, is that really bar material?" She laughed heartily.

"Please, these bitches feed off sadness; I totally rocked them last week with the saddest song ever." Santana said, scanning the area. They talked aimlessly until they saw the lights dim and Aaron come onto stage. Santana stood up and Puck wished her good luck.

"Hello! Welcome to Tunes bar and grill, you guys all know how we do around here, the stage is open to anyone who wants to sing but tonight we have a special someone who rocked this stage last week. Give it up for Santana," Aaron yelled cheerfully. The crowd clapped excitedly, clearly anticipating Santana's performance. Santana walked out more confidentially than she did last week.

"Hey guys! So the last time I was here I sung about loving someone who would never love you back, you guys remember?" The crowd cheered and Santana inwardly smiled, her mood slightly dimming as she remembered why she chose the song in the first place, and why she chose the song she was going to sing right then." Well, I told that person I loved them, but they chose someone else over me, and broke my heart." Puck frowned at her; he hadn't heard anything about that before. He was slowly trying to add up the pieces in his head. The crowd cooed sympathetically. Santana signalled Aaron, who started up the acoustic version of the song.

 _Never let a wound ruin me_ _  
_ _But I feel like ruin's wooing me_ _  
_ _Arrow holes that never close from Cupid on a shooting spree_ _  
_ _Feeling stupid cause I know it ain't no you and me_

Puck smiled a little when he heard his friend's voice, she sounded good. But that slowly faded when he heard how much pain was behind the words, and he wondered who this song was for. He hadn't heard anything about a new boy in Santana's life; the only thing he heard about was her fight with Brittany, which she seemed to be taking pretty hard.

 _But when you're trying to beat the odds up  
Been trying to keep your nods up and you know that you should know  
And let her go_ _but the fear of the unknown_ _  
_ _Holding on another lover's phone sends you back into the zone_

The crowd cheered a little, and Santana liked that they were getting into the song, but with every word she sang she felt her poorly stitched up heart get ripped open again. Every single detail of Monday was eating at her, tearing her apart and killing her.

 _With no Tom Hanks to bring you home_ _  
_ _A lover not a fighter_ _on the frontline with a poem_ _  
_ _Trying to write yourself a rifle  
Maybe sharpen up a song_ _  
_ _To fight the tanks and drones of you being alone_

The entire bar was at Santana's call; with her raspy voice she caught the attention of everyone. But Puck saw the heartache that washed over his friends features, and it hurt him a little to see her so obviously in pain. He wondered what really happened between Brittany and her.

 _I wish I never looked, I wish I never touched  
I wish that I could stop loving you so much_ _  
_ _Cause I'm the only one that's trying to keep us together_ _  
_ _When all of the signs say that I should forget her_

Santana felt herself crying again. The song conveyed her emotions so well. She wished on every star she saw that she had never fallen in love with Brittany, that she had never told her how she felt, that she had never gotten her heart broken by the only person she knew would ever hold it. She wished she could forget the blue eyed blonde beauty that haunted her where ever she went. She hated herself for being so hung up on a relationship that never was. _  
I wish you weren't the best, the best I ever had  
I wish that the good outweighed the bad  
Cause it'll never be over, until you tell me it's over_

Puck was seriously worrying now; _I need to get to the bottom of this._

 _These battle scars, don't look like they're fading  
Don't look like they're ever going away  
They ain't never gonna change  
These battle scars, don't look like they're fading  
Don't look like they're ever going away  
They ain't never gonna change  
These battle_

Santana wondered if her heart would ever be repaired, ignoring the blonde was the hardest thing she had ever done, but she had to do it. Everything was eating her up inside, her eyes were cold and lifeless, not a single spark was seen, not even when she looked at Brittany. Puck noticed that earlier when she had looked happy, the smile had never reached her eyes, like something was blocking her from really being happy.

 _(And just leave then)  
You shouldn't have but you said it  
(And I hope you never come back)  
It shouldn't have happened but you let it_

She thought this might have been her subconscious telling her she should have never opened up her heart; she should have never let someone have the power to break it in the first place. _  
_

 _Now you're down on the ground screaming medic  
The only thing that comes is the post-traumatic stresses_ _  
_ _Shields, body armors and vests  
Don't properly work,_ _that's why you're in a locker full of hurt_ _  
_ _The enemy within and all the fires from your friends_ _  
_ _The best medicine is to probably just let her win_

Santana's voice wavered; her throat was closing up with each line. She paused and took a shaky breath, smiling a little when the crowd cheered and egged her on.

 _I wish I couldn't feel, I wish I couldn't love  
I wish that I could stop cause it hurts so much_

It was obvious she was crying now, the crowd stopped egging her on and looked at her with worried eyes. Puck stood up and pushed his way around the tables towards the stage.

 _Cause I'm the only one that's trying to keep us together_ _  
_ _When all of the signs say that I should forget her_

She hated herself so much, and she hated Brittany, and Artie, and even Quinn. She hated everything about her life and she wondered what kind of plan the universe had for her.

 _I wish you weren't the best, the best I ever had_ _  
_ _I wish that the good outweighed the bad_

She wished Brittany wasn't everything she wanted, the perfect girl for her, the best thing about the brunette. Santana choked back a sob, before shaking her head and dropping the microphone. Aaron cut off the music worriedly and Puck made his way upstage and grabbed the Latina, pulling her into a tight hug as she broke down crying. He whispered encouraging things in her ears as he lead them off stage, the crowd clapped awkwardly, not knowing whether to cheer or not. Aaron lead them to a more secluded booth and nodded to Puck, who sat her down and rubbed her back as she cried her heart out.

"San, Santana, Santana, shhh," he said, his heart strings was starting to pull and his eyes were getting glossy. He had never seen the Latina so much as look hurt, and to have someone usually so composed, fall apart in his arms was heartbreaking. "Shh, it's going to be okay, it's alright, you're okay." She sobbed even harder, before choking out a few words.

"N-n-no, I'm-I'm not okay," she heaved, "Doesn't love me, doesn't love me, chose him, no one loves me," Puck frowned, trying to make out the words. He held her tighter.

"Who doesn't love you San?" He asked softly, he had a suspicion but he wondered if it could really be true. Santana pushed off of his chest and rubbed her eyes, shaking her head left and right, "San, it's okay. You can tell me, I'm here for you, I promise." She opened her mouth, trying to get the words out, but the voice told her to stop. _Don't tell him, you don't need to let anyone in; you're just going to get hurt again. He's going to tell everyone, you can't afford that, don't let him in, don't let him in._

"It's, it's," she stuttered, trying to think of a lie. Puck caught on though, and shook his head; he grabbed her hands and looked her in the eye, finishing her sentence for her.

"It's Brittany, isn't it?" He breathed, as if it wasn't even a question. Santana stared at him and broke down crying again, confirming what he thought. Instead of him looking at her with disgust in his eyes, he only smiled sadly and pulled her closer.

"I know San, I know. You're okay, we're going to get through this together, and you're okay." He cooed softly.

* * *

It was currently 12:34 AM. Santana and Puck were still at the bar. Puck had coaxed Santana into opening up, which was incredibly difficult at first, but after a few pep talks and a million reassurances that he wouldn't view her any different, she slowly began to tell him about what really happened between Brittany and herself.

"And then she told me she loved Artie, and wouldn't break up with him. She chose him over me. She chose a guy she's been dating for barely 2 months, which by the way, she only dated to make me jealous, over the girl who has been by her side for years," Santana said bitterly, taking another shot of whatever she was drinking, she didn't really care what she was putting into her body anymore. "So I cut her off, every time I see her it's like my heart is split open again. And she's trying to become friends again, but I can't, I can't just be friends with her and pretend that I never told her I love her." Puck nodded solemnly, his mind a little blown.

"Woah… That was…" Puck tried to think of the words, "unexpected." It was true; in no universe would Puck ever think that Santana would have been in love with her best friend, her girl best friend for that. But now that he knew, everything made a lot more sense. And he saw how much they suited each other, he wondered why Brittany chose Artie and not her, they were perfect for each other. They were soul mates in his eyes.

"Yeah, I know. Imagine how I felt after Quinn told me Brittany would drop him for me, and then she didn't." She huffed. Puck nodded dumbly, unable to form the words he was thinking. He shook his head, if this way honesty hour, he was going to use as much of it as he could.

"Does that mean you're gay?" Puck said boldly, hoping he didn't leave with a broken nose. Santana visibly stiffened and clenched her jaw. She opened her mouth to reply, she wanted to say yes but she was scared, she was still so scared of what everyone would think. _Oh who the fuck cares, you already told Brittany you love her, and now Puck knows too. What else do you have left to lose?_ Santana thought. Puck watched her anxiously, waiting for a reply. Santana looked him in the eye and nodded slightly, if he wasn't watching he wouldn't have caught it, never verbalising the answer. Puck smiled at her and bumped her on the shoulder.

"I'm proud of you Santana. That took a lot of guts to admit. You're stronger than you think you are," he said honestly. She studied him for a second, she wondered how he was so okay with this, and it was Lima for god sakes, not a very open minded town.

"How are you okay with this? Why aren't you calling me a dyke and running off and telling the first person you see?" She asked, almost accusingly. He chuckled slightly and shook his head. He watched her take three shots in succession.

"Because I care about you, it took me ages to get you to open up to me. I'm not giving you a reason not to open up ever again," he said nonchalantly. "So, what are you going to do about Brittany?" Santana shrugged, the more she talked about it, the more the heartache started to dull, but it was still excruciating.

"I don't know, but I miss her. I miss her so fucking much but I'm so fucking mad at her," she slurred sadly. He nodded sympathetically. They fell into a comfortable silence before Santana's phone rang. She groaned and threw back another shot. She was getting pretty drunk now and Puck knew it, which is why he picked up her phone for her without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello dis be Lopez's pimp phone," Puck said in a faux ghetto tone, he giggled when he heard Santana laugh loudly. His laugh died down when he heard the person on the other line speak.

"Puck? Where's Santana?" Brittany asked. She was over the moon that the line had clicked through but that faded when she heard the blaring noise in the background and Puck's voice on the other line. She felt jealously run through her, what was Santana doing with Puck? Was he taking advantage of her? Puck widened his eyes. Santana didn't realise his conflicted state as she took down more shots, her eyes glossing over as she entered the emotional drunk state.

"Oh, hey Britt. She can't come to the phone right now, she's kind of drunk." He said sheepishly. Brittany gasped, Santana seemed to be getting drunk a lot now, and she knew why.

"Where are you guys? I'm coming to get her." Brittany was certain she knew where they were, she just wanted to confirm. Puck frowned and shook his head.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Britt." Brittany scowled and scoffed. She ran her fingers through her hair and searched for her keys.

"Why not? I'm her best friend." Puck looked over at Santana sadly; she was staring into her glass with a broken expression on her face.

" _Were_ her best friend, and you know why Britt," he said softly. Brittany took a sharp breath.

"She told you?" she said quietly.

"Yeah, she did." He said glumly, "She's pretty cut up about it, you know." Brittany shook her head and grabbed her car keys.

"She's still my best friend, and I still care. I'm coming to get her, don't let her leave." And with that she hung up and raced out the door. Puck gulped, Santana was looking at him suspiciously.

"Who was that?" She slurred out. Puck scooted closer to her and wrapped her in a hug, rocking her back and forth. He wondered if he should tell her, and decided to. He didn't want to betray her trust already.

"It was Britt," he felt her tense in his arms, "she's coming to get you," Santana scoffed.

"I don't need her; I can be just fine without her here." She lied, she was broken inside, and a part of her was kind of anticipating being close to Brittany again.

"I know San, I know. Just get some rest, you'll be asleep and in your bed before you know it, you won't have to talk to her." He said encouragingly. She nodded and closed her eyes.

* * *

Santana stirred out of her sleep when the car jolted over a speed bump. Her senses kicked in her eyes shot open, taking in the blurry surroundings as the car drove past neighbourhoods. Her neck was sore from her position in the car, and she wildly wondered if she had gotten kidnapped. That was until the voice she both loved and hated invaded her ears.

"Oh you're awake," Brittany said, looking at her from the side of her eyes. Santana was curled up in a ball in the passenger side of the car, where Puck had put her in five minutes ago. Brittany had taken the long way home, just so she could be close to the brunette again, even if she was passed out from drinking. Santana felt sober, unfortunately meaning she could feel her pain again. Brittany was everywhere; her smell was all around Santana and weaving itself into her clothes, her voice was everything she heard, and most importantly, her presence was what Santana deemed far too close for her liking. She stiffened and straightened up, eyeing the blonde coldly.

"What am I doing here," she asked emotionlessly. Brittany looked at her again sadly, her mouth twisting with hurt.

"You got drunk, so I picked you up," she said softly, "I know you get crazy when you're drunk. Puck was drunk too. I wanted to help," Santana scowled and felt herself retreat.

"I don't need your help," she scoffed. Brittany shook her head, her eyes brimming with tears.

"San I-"Brittany began, but Santana raised her hand as a signal for her to stop.

"No. No you don't get to talk to me like everything is okay. Just take me home." She said, twisting her body further away from Brittany's, wanting to be as far away from her as possible. Brittany didn't say anything. She made a split second decision and swerved off the road, stopping on the side. She pulled the key out of the ignition and locked the doors. Her car was one of those types that only unlocked if you used the button on the console or the key itself. And since Brittany pulled the key out and shut off the engine, there was no way Santana could escape. This was the first time they had talked face to face since the day Brittany came to her window.

"Brittany! What the hell?!" Santana said angrily, she tried to pry the door open but it wouldn't budge. "What are you doing? Open the damn door!" Brittany remained strong though, and shook her head.

"No San, we need to talk." She said seriously. Santana wondered how she had the audacity to tell her that when she's the reason they weren't talking in the first place.

"I told you I don't want to fucking talk to you Britt, take me home," she said, her voice lowering dangerously. Brittany didn't budge; instead she reached out to grab the brunette's hand. Santana winced like it physically hurt her and tried to pull away, but the blondes grip was tight. Brittany felt tears start to spill.

"I miss you San," the Latina looked away and shook her head, tears filling up her eyes. Brittany's hand was still holding hers tightly and Santana wanted nothing more to lace their fingers together. But she couldn't, her body wouldn't allow it. "We use to be best friends, why did everything have to change?" Santana's lips trembled and she looked out at the road with a broken expression.

"You know why things changed Brittany; fuck, you know why we aren't friends anymore." Santana said, trying her best to maintain an even voice. The blonde bit her lip and shuffled closer to Santana, who edged further away. Brittany laced their fingers together and Santana felt herself violently reject the gesture, her fingers started shaking and she felt sick to her stomach.

"We can be though; you don't need to shut me out San." Brittany begged, holding her friends hand steady," Please don't shut me out." Santana's body began shaking with sobs, and she shook her head, trying to tug her hand away.

"T-that's not fair Brittany, you know it's not fair," Santana choked out, pain emitting from her tone, "you can't ask me to do that." Brittany leaned closer until their faces were inches apart; she unlaced their fingers and brought her hand up to cup the brunettes face. She softly turned her head so they were looking each other in the eyes. Santana wanted to shut her eyes, everything was telling her to shut her eyes, but once she looked into the crystal blue ones, she got lost.

"Why can't I?" She breathed out; both their eyes held unsaid words, unshed tears, and unheard pleas for forgiveness and love. Santana was the first to break eye contact; she jerked her head out of Brittany's hand and pushed herself up the door. She felt anger bubble through her at the blondes request to be friends.

"Because Brittany," she spat," does it look like I want to be just friends?" Brittany felt the words cut deep in her heart and her brain short circuited. She didn't know what to say. Santana waited for a reply, before scoffing and turning away.

"Either open the door and let me out so I can walk home, or just take me home." She said bluntly, looking out the windshield. Brittany stared at her friend for a little longer, she picked up her keys and turned on the ignition, pressing down on the pedal and driving down the road slowly.

Brittany didn't miss the way the brunette didn't use past tense when she spoke about being just friends.

* * *

They pulled up to the Lopez residence and Brittany sighed. They sat in silence for a second, Santana tried to compose herself enough to face her parents. Brittany turned and opened her mouth to say something but Santana opened the door. She ignored Brittany's hurt expression and took a deep breath, as if the next words physically hurt her to say. And they did.

"Thanks for taking me home." Santana forced out in a monotone voice. She gave no chance for reply as she closed the door and walked up to her door step. Brittany raised her hand to the door handle, but stopped herself. Instead she rolled down her window and called out to Santana, who pinched her eyes shut and stopped walking, but didn't turn around.

"I meant it when I said I miss you, and I'm not giving up. I want to be your friend; I won't stop until I am." Brittany said honestly. Deep down she knew she wanted to be more than friends, but not while she had Artie, he was nothing but sweet to her and she couldn't break him. Brittany gave a tight lipped smile to Santana's back, before revving her engine and driving off down the street. Santana let out the breath she didn't realise she was holding, and shook her head slightly. Frowning when she felt a small smile ghosting her features, she quickly wiped it off and hardened her features. _Don't let her in, don't let her in,_ she chanted in her head. She walked up to her front door and checked the time. 1:23 AM. Her parents were not going to be happy with her, but with the night she had, she couldn't really care less. She opened the door and trudged up the stairs, only stopping when she heard her mom call out to her. Santana internally groaned and turned to face her mom who was at the base of the stairs, worried expression on her face.

"Mija, where have you been? It's late and you haven't called or texted." Santana only stared lifelessly at her.

"I was out, I'm sorry I didn't call. I must have forgotten." She didn't mean to be so blunt, but she was tired and what she just went through wasn't helping. Maribel just looked at her with sad eyes.

"Is everything okay mija? You barely eat, let alone talk with us. I haven't seen you come out of your room in days, and when I do, you just walk past us and go to school. What happened?" She asked with a voice full of concern. Santana only blinked at her, her mouth formulating a reply before she could think of one.

"Everything is fine, school is stressful. Don't have much time to hang out." Santana forced out, her eyes were drooping and she was seriously exhausted.

"Why don't you take a break then," Maribel said encouragingly, "invite Brittany over, I haven't seen her in a while." She wondered what had happened to the daughter who went from gushing about telling someone she loved them, to the somewhat corpse looking girl in front of her. She knew she made a mistake when Santana visibly stiffened and winced.

"Don't invite Brittany over." She said seriously," I don't want to see her here, ever." She walked up the stairs and into her bedroom, slamming the door shut and dropping onto her bed. All the nights' emotions caught up with her, and she broke down in sobs for the 100th time that week, or maybe day. _WHY CAN'T YOU JUST STOP. JUST STOP_ , she screamed at herself as her body convulsed.

Maribel listened on the other side of the door, her heart twisting as she heard her daughter try to keep her crying quiet. She thought it best to let her daughter come to her when she needed to, if not, she'd go and find out the reason why she was so upset.

Maribel crept downstairs and pulled out her phone, she dialled her friends' number and prayed that she'd pick up.

"Hello?" Susan Pierce said groggily.

"Susan, it's Maribel, I'm sorry to wake you so late in the night, but I need to ask you something." She said anxiously.

"Oh, no it's fine," Susan said, sitting up. She could hear the desperation in her voice." What's wrong?"

"Do you have any idea what happened between our daughters? They were fine over the weekend and suddenly Santana can't even bare to hear Brittany's name without snapping" Susan bit her lip worriedly.

"I have no idea what happened, but I overheard her talking to that Quinn Fabray girl. Apparently it has something to do with Brittany telling Santana something she didn't want to hear and it lead to a massive fight. Brittany's boyfriend, Artie, has something to do with it. But I'm not sure, Brittany hasn't been herself lately. I'm worried. "Susan said softly, trying to not wake her husband.

"I know, me too. Thank you Susan, goodnight, sweet dreams." They hung up and Maribel thought back to her conversation with her daughter.

 _"_ _Say you knew someone, and they were everything you ever wanted"_

 _"_ _But, if you guys got together, a lot of people wouldn't like it."_

 _"_ _And what if she- HE, H-he already had someone"_

 _"_ _But the person is perfect for you, would you tell them you're in love with them?"_

The story was starting to come together, but Maribel couldn't be sure. She needed a way to help Santana open up and talk to her.

* * *

 _A/N **Song used was Battle Scars- Guy Sebastian (the acoustic verison). What did you guys think? Too sad, not sad enough? Leave a review and tell me what you think i can improve on or what you liked about this chapter etc ! Laterz Skaterz**_


	14. Chapter 14

_A/N **hey, i literally have no restraint when it comes to chapters. i wanted to post this so i could reply to all those reviews that you guys left. Okay so wow y'all are really catching onto to the way im writing this story, like the personalities and the actions of the characters you guys are really looking into. I just want to start off and say i will NOT introduce a love interest for Santana because even I couldnt handle writing that. Reading my own story makes me mad because i just want them to get together already. Anyway to the people who said Santana and Puck were harsh in the last chapter and only focused on Bartie and an excuse for why she got denied. YOU GUYS TOTALLY PICKED UP ON THAT, i wrote it from her view and i tried to put myself in her position because when u get hurt u tend to focus on the biggest thing, and to her the whole Bartie this is what hurts most, you get me? She's not looking from Brittany's view because she doesn't understand fully yet and she doesn't want to talk because it hurts her too much. Everything you guys put in the review is basically what i included in the chapters i wrote beforehand so that's awesome you guys want to see the same things i wrote. The whole Santana denying Brittany at first will come up in this amazing talk i have planned out but don't worry guys. BRITTANA IS END GAME. Also to the person who said Santana singing a song at a bar was childish of her. Well this is a glee fanfic, and glee sings songs based on their life problems at the moment. So i wanted to incorporate that aspect of glee in here. Oh and i'm also sorry this is so sad and angsty but it'll get better i promise. Also if you leave a review can you tell me if you're liking the story or not because i love how you guys put thoughtful insights on the story but i kind of got mixed signals about whether or not you liked it. THANks!**_

 ** _TLDR;_** ** _Santana and Brittany will have a talk later on about everything._**

 ** _Santana and Puck are harsh in the last chapter, and in this one sort of, because they aren't seeing the full story, just the Bartie bit._**

 ** _i'm NOT introducing a new lover for Santana_**

 ** _Brittany is NOT a villian in this story, just confused about what she should do_**

 ** _This is a glee fanfic so songs will be included, because i always find songs that suit what i'm writing. ESpecially in this chapter lol_**

* * *

The weekend ended and school rolled around again. It was no different than it was the week before, Santana still refused to acknowledge Brittany inside or outside of school. Brittany would wait at their lockers just so she could be close to her former friend for even a fraction of a second.

Weeks passed and every single person knew about the fall out between the two girls, the glee club was especially concerned.

"What is going on with those girls? Seriously, Santana's acting like she's never seen Britt before and seeing Britt sad physically hurts me, right in the heart," Kurt said to Mercedes as they sat in the middle row of the choir room, waiting for glee to start. She nodded and frowned.

"I know right?! They must have had some big ass beef because I can't imagine anything tearing those two apart. They're practically joined at the hip." Kurt nodded in agreement.

"Santana has been extra bitter lately, have you seen her during practices? When Rachel came wearing this sweater, she slashed her and made her take it off. She, and I quote, said "that sweater is seriously the ugliest thing I've ever seen. The amount of times switch from okay looking sweaters to downright illegal ones gives me whiplash. Kind of like your off and on relationship with Puffers. Take it off before it bursts into flames on its own accord." Mercedes laughed, and Kurt slapped her on the shoulder.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry. But you got to admit, that was a good one," Kurt rolled his eyes, "and I have to agree with you, she's usually mean but lately she's been hella mean. I guess Brittany always brought out the best in her." Just as she finished that sentence, Santana strolled through the door.

"What up bitches," she said to no one in particular, not looking at any of them before taking a seat next to Mercedes. They greeted her but she made no motion to pick up conversation, pulling out what looked like a schedule and scribbling things into it. Mercedes looked at Kurt, who just shrugged. Then she got an idea.

"Hey girl, did you hear about the party Rachel is having this Saturday?" Santana looked up from her cheerios schedule and rolled her eyes.

"Berry is throwing a party?" Santana scoffed and narrowed her eyes," a three year olds birthday party at Breadstix would be more eventful than that." Mercedes stifled a laugh.

"Yeah, true that. But I heard Puckerman convinced her to have liquor, and he's supplying. All the glee kids are invited, so you should come," Mercedes said convincingly.

"I guess I'll go, are all the glee kids coming?" Santana asked sounding uninterested, focusing writing down her routines again.

"Yeah, most people are like Puck, Finn, Sam, Quinn, Bri-"Mercedes cut herself off and froze when she saw Santana stop writing and grip her pen. Kurt saw as well and cut in.

"Just everyone in general, you shouldn't miss it," he said trying to clear up the awkwardness. Santana only stared down at her schedule before looking up again, her eyes told no story and her face gave no emotion. She blinked a few times and shrugged.

"I'll see." Santana said, ending the conversation. She went back to writing while Mercedes and Kurt gossiped. She felt the presence of more people coming into the choir room, but she paid no attention to her surroundings. Until she heard Mercedes and Kurt go quiet, as well as the rest of the room. She frowned and started to look up when her nose picked up a familiar scent. The smell she had grown accustomed too, but the smell that still lingered on her sheets and most of her clothing. Brittany. _Oh god._

"Hey San," the blonde softly, in a voice so sweet it could make cotton candy look like a sour treat. Santana gripped her pen tightly and made no move to look up. The room was silent before Kurt realised Santana wasn't going to give any reply, so he stepped in.

"Hey Britt!" he said overly cheerfully. Brittany only gave him a sad thank you smile before looking at Santana again, who was finding the top corner of her note book to be very interesting. She let out a deep breath when she felt Brittany go past her and sit in her usual seat near Artie. She felt two blue eyes lingering on her though, and she forced herself not to look. It was getting easier, not being around the blonde. But that didn't mean she didn't miss everything there was about Brittany. You can't just shut someone you love out completely and expect to not feel anything.

The choir roomed filled with more people, and Quinn walked in. Her eyes instantly found Santana, and she walked up to her.

"Hey Santana," Quinn said. Brittany's ears perked up and she looked over at Santana, who stopped writing and looked up.

"Hey Quinn," Santana said coolly. Mercedes looked at Kurt and mouthed _ouch_ , Kurt nodded and his eyes flittered to Brittany. The blonde felt her stomach drop, _she didn't even acknowledge me._ Quinn could feel blue eyes watching them intently, "you need something?"

"Oh, no no, I don't. I just wanted to apologise for what I said, I didn't mean to blow up like that," Santana nodded, her face void of any emotion. It was concerning how well she seemed to wipe her emotions off of her face, "I'm sorry, and Puck was right. You deserve head spot. Congrats San," The Latina's mouth twitched upwards and she gave a timid smile.

"Thanks," she said, nodding once before turning her attention back to her schedule. Quinn looked over at Brittany, who watched them with sad eyes; she smiled at her sympathetically before going to sit in the back seats near Sam.

Mr Schue strolled in and greeted the club. They mumbled their hello's back and the lesson began. Santana blocked out most of what he said, a lot of it was useless. It was even worse when Rachel got up and started talking, Santana completely zoned out until she felt everyone's eyes on her. She looked around before scowling.

"What are you all staring at?" She hissed, raising one eyebrow. Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Were you not listening Santana? It's crucial you don't miss any important details about this." Rachel berated. Santana scoffed and rolled her eyes, she reached up to tighten her pony tail.

"Watching paint dry is more entertaining than your three hour speeches about you" Santana said, "or Finn." Rachel huffed when she heard Quinn laugh loudly, and people holding back laughs.

"I asked you a question before, if you were listening, you would have caught it," she glared at Santana, who looked at her blankly. "As I was saying, I am having a party on Saturday and-." Santana droned the rest out.

"Okay, Rachel. Thank you for that, uh announcement." Mr Schue said, clapping his hand and cutting her off when he realised the Latina wasn't listening again. "So, I know you're all egar to find out what our lesson is about. This week's assignment is… Heartbreak!" Santana looked up from her fingernails. _Oh you got to be kidding me? Is the universe out to get me?_ The entire glee club groaned.

"Hey! Come on guys, we need to get in touch with our inner pain. All aspects of singing are great ones, and emotional pain is one. So this week, I want you to find a song that represents a pain you might have felt, related to love." Santana felt her heart clench. The room was getting hotter and she could feel Brittany and Quinn's eyes on her. There was absolutely _no_ way she was going to sing about heartbreak, so everyone could see a weakness in her. A vulnerability.

She had to get out, but she needed an excuse. _Cheerios!_ She didn't have practice today, because she had spent hours yesterday whipping the team into shape, but the glee club didn't know that. She got up and dusted off her skirt.

"Uh Santana, where are you going? Glee isn't over yet." Santana picked her books up and ignored the stares, only looking straight at Mr Schue.

"It's over for me; you already told us our assignment. I have practice in 10, and as much as I would rather sit and listen to Berry here," she gestured behind her to where Rachel sat with her mouth open, "talk about her endless heartache she suffered from getting egged by St. James, I have to go set up." Santana picked her bag up and strolled out the room, not waiting for a reply. Puck frowned and got up, ignoring Mr Schue calling him as he went out the door to follow Santana. Brittany clenched her jaw. _I should be the one following her._ Artie noticed his girlfriend's tense look.

"Everything okay baby?" He asked sweetly, Brittany looked at him and gave him a tight lipped smile. "Is it Santana again?" Brittany nodded glumly. She had told him that she and the Latina had gotten into a big fight, but what about she left a secret. He never questioned it though, and she was thankful he didn't.

"It's okay Britt, she'll come around. How about we get some ice cream after school? That always cheers you up, right babe?" He cooed. Brittany gave him a soft smile, _he's so sweet_. She couldn't help but remember how Santana would always take her to get ice cream, without her even asking to. Somehow the brunette just knew.

"San, wait up!" Puck jogged up and grabbed her arm. Santana scowled and ripped her arm from his grip, seething at him. He held up his hands in defence, "woah hey calm down, I just wanted to see if you're okay. I know you don't have cheerios right now. I would know, I watch all the time." He waggled his eyebrow and grinned when he saw Santana deflate and fight a smile off her lips.

"You're gross," she said, shaking her head. They walked side by side down the hall. "I'm fine, just pissed about Mr Schue and his stupid assignment. It's like he wants me to break down in front of everyone. Can he smell the sadness off of me?" Puck grimaced when he remembered Santana sobbing halfway through her performance at the bar.

"Yeah, it was pretty shit timing. But don't worry about it, if you're really concerned, I can help you," she turned to him and raised an eyebrow.

"You'd do that for me?" She asked quietly. Puck nodded seriously.

"Of course, you're my lesbro," Santana hit him in the shoulder," ouch, sorry, too soon?" He asked sheepishly

"You think?" She said, but smiled anyway.

"Anyway, I can totally help you sing if you want, he didn't say anything about other people not being able to help out. I can play guitar and you can sing. And that way if you start crying, I can get to you quicker." Santana stopped walking and faced him. Her mouth was curling up into a smile. Before her mind could tell her to stop, she reached out and pulled him into a hug, which he reciprocated.

"Thank you, Puck." He shrugged. They pulled away from each other and continued walking.

"So, you know what you want to sing?" Santana thought for a moment before getting an idea.

"Yeah I do, but you won't know the song, come over to mine afterschool and I'll show you it. Bring your guitar." He nodded and walked her to her car, unaware of the confused and suspicious hazel eyes watching them for the end of the hallway.

* * *

Santana walked up to her room and sighed. Every moment she had alone she was reminded how really _alone_ she was. There was no bubbly blonde pulling her by the hand towards her bed. No happy feeling graced her as she walked into the cold room. Her exhaustion kicked in when she got home. In between running the cheerleading squad and everything else in her life, she barely had a moment to gather her thoughts. And when she did, they were all the same subject, all on repeat. She'd close her eyes and all she'd see was blue ones sparkling back at her. She'd pull on a jumper and immediately rip it off because it smelt like Brittany.

She walked to her desk and picked up her song writing book, more pages were filled with lyrics she'd written. So far she'd written one complete song, Mirrors. Her heart clenched as she re read the lyrics. She wished she could go back to the person she was when she wrote this song. But she couldn't, she was different now. She picked up her pen and flipped the pages to a nearly completed song. She traced over the words, taking in every lyric and tear drop that stained the page. She sighed and shook her mind clear, trying to think of lyrics.

She had finished memorising the full song when she heard a knock on her front door. She was confused for a minute before she remembered she had invited Puck over to help her with the assignment. _I can't believe I'm actually going to do this._ She walked downstairs and opened the door to reveal a grinning Puck. He gave her a lopsided smile and winked at her.

"Hey there sexy lady," he said brushing his way past her into the house, his guitar strapped to his back. She stepped aside from him and playfully glared.

"Now, what would your girl say if she found out you were hitting on me?" Puck looked back at her with confused eyes.

"Oh, I thought you knew. Lauren and I broke up," he shrugged. Santana's eyes went wide, she hadn't heard about that. Maybe since she never listened in glee.

"Wow, I uh, I'm sorry to hear that," Puck laughed.

"Don't worry about it, didn't hurt that much. Besides, I'm better as a lone wolf." He bragged, "But she'll always be the one who got away… Really slowly." Santana laughed and walked up the stairs, Puck following. He walked into her room and sat down casually on her bed, pulling his guitar around in playing position.

"So, what's this song I have to learn?" He asked. Santana suddenly felt self-conscious.

"Well, uh, the song doesn't really have a tune yet." She said sheepishly, "I wrote it but I haven't really found the beats and stuff," Puck widened his eyes.

"You write songs?" He asked, impressed. Santana nodded, her eyes trained on the floor," that's freaking awesome. Can I see it?" She smiled at his enthusiasm; he was clearly trying to make her as comfortable as he could. She was thankful for that and for him in general. Losing Brittany and Quinn all at once was pretty hard on her, even though she was pushing them away. She walked over to her desk and picked up her song writing book, this was the first time she was ever going to show someone it, and she was glad it was Puck. He took the book carefully, like he was holding a baby. He read over the lyrics and nodded, like he was figuring out the tune in his head. He finished and let out a breath.

"Whoa, that's some emotional stuff. Did you write this for…?" Puck said, not wanting to upset the Latina further. Santana focused on the book and nodded.

"Yeah, I did," She said, looking back up at him. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Puck started strumming his guitar. He sang a few of the lyrics before frowning and changing to strumming. Santana joined in, singing as well while he tried to work out what sounded best. They spent the next hours experimenting with the tune and the melody. Soon enough it was almost mid night and they had finished.

"…no way we can be friends" Santana sung the final words, and Puck played the ending note. They looked back up at each other and Santana smiled widely. "That was awesome Puck! Thank you so much, really." He smiled at her and then yawned.

"It's all good San. That song sounded awesome. I should really head home though," he got up to walk out the door, she followed him. He turned around and hugged her," listen, I know you're hurting and all, but you can't mend a broken heart by breaking other peoples too. She's hurt as well, just because you can't have her in your life like you want to, doesn't mean she shouldn't be in your life at all. That's all I'm saying." He pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead before giving her a tight lipped smile and walking out the door. Santana stood rooted to her spot, mulling over his words. She knew he was right, she knew that she was killing Brittany by ignoring her existence. But fuck, she was so hurt, and she didn't know what to do about it. Her pride was stronger than anything else; it told her she couldn't let anyone in if she never wanted to be hurt again.

Santana took a shaky breath and got ready for bed. She walked out of the bathroom after brushing her teeth and removing her make up. She took in the way her eyes were dark and empty, her cheeks sunken and her facial features overall sad. Santana climbed into bed and picked up her phone. She scrolled down to Brittany's name; her finger hovered over the call button as her mind weighed out all the pros and cons. Her finger twitched as it came down to press the green button.

* * *

Brittany was lying awake on her bed, staring at the ceiling like she'd done every night since Santana had told her she loved her. Her mind raced round and round but she couldn't make out any thoughts. She missed her so much, so much. All she wanted to do was go to the Latina's house and fall asleep in the same bed with her, like they had done countless times. Just sleep together, no making out or fucking. Just watching movies or talking until sleep took them over and they held each other while they dreamt. She was conflicted; everything about her life was confusing to her. She had waited so long for the Latina to tell her how she really felt, but she had done it at the worst time. If she had done it a few months earlier, they could've been in the same bed right now, smiling at each other with eyes full of love. But no, Brittany was lying on the right side of her bed, the left side cold and Santana-less.

She just needed to hear her talk, and not just in general, talk to her. Really talk to her, like she use to. Talk to her without avoiding eye contact, or without crying, or without cold eyes. All their latest conversations included all three. Quinn tried to help as much as she could, but it was fruitless. Neither girl knew what to say, they missed their best friend.

Brittany closed her eyes when she felt her bed side rumble; she groaned and felt around for her phone. _Who is calling me at 1 AM?_ She thought as she looked at the caller ID. Her eyes shot open and she sat up straight on her bed, staring at the screen like she couldn't believe it. _Was this a pocket dial?_ She thought. She shook her thoughts and picked up the call.

"Santana?" Brittany breathed softly, like she was scared that she'd wake up in the morning from this dream. The line was silent, but Brittany could hear the shaky breathing on the other side. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Santana covered her mouth with her hand to hold back the sobs. _No Brittany, I'm not okay. I'm so fucking hurt_. _I just need to hear your voice,_ she thought. She opened her mouth to reply but all that came out were sobs. Brittany felt her heart breaking as she listened to her friend cry.

"Santana, please don't cry. I'm sorry. I'm coming over, don't go anywhere." Brittany demanded as she made a move to get up. Santana stopped her sobs and opened her mouth in horror. Brittany couldn't come over, not while she was like this. She when all she wanted was to fall into her arms and stay there for eternity. She recoiled harshly, berating herself for calling.

"No! No don't come over. I shouldn't have called, this was a mistake. I won't call again. Do-don't come over," she said quickly, she didn't wait for a reply before she pressed the end button. Listening to the room fall back into the piercing silence it once was, she needed to forget. Right now. She got out of bed and walked down quickly to the kitchen. Her parents were out of town visiting an aunt; Santana had said she had too much work to go, so they let her stay home. She walked straight to the liquor cabinet and ripped open the door handle, she didn't care about her parents finding out. She needed relief, and she needed it now. Grabbing the first bottle she saw, she opened the lid without reading the bottle and took a swig, sighing in relief as the liquid burned her throat and dropped to her stomach.

Brittany listened to the phone go dead and she stared at the door of her room, unsure if what just happened actually happened. She was confused again, Santana had called her while crying, and when the blonde was about to come over, she recoiled and told her not to. Brittany wondered why she had called in the first place, there was something left of their friendship, she concluded. There was hope. Brittany suddenly wondered what she was still doing here; she needed to get to Santana, not caring that she had told her not to. Brittany was her best friend, and she needed her right now. Even if she didn't act like it. The blonde got up and pulled on track pants, grabbing her keys and racing out the door to Santana.

She pulled up at the Lopez residence and noted that Santana's bedroom light was out, but the kitchen one was on. Her parents' cars weren't in the drive way so it had to be Santana in the kitchen. Brittany got out of the car and knocked on the door, but was met with silence. She heard the faint clinking of something, but she couldn't make out what it was. She opted for a more James Bond style entry. She climbed the tree she had climbed so many times, and tugged on the window. She thanked god as it slid open, Santana must've forgotten to lock it at one point. She slipped into the room, she hadn't been in here for so long, it almost seemed unfamiliar. She shook her head and looked at the empty bed, she walked over to it and pressed her hand against the sheet, it was still a little warm, which means Santana couldn't have been gone for too long. She walked out of the bedroom and crept downstairs. The clinking got louder, and she now heard the sobs that came paired with it.

Santana was on her living room floor, empty bottles of everything spread across the floor. Brittany inched closer, trying to figure out way to announce herself without scaring the brunette, who was currently wiping her eyes and taking a swig of brown liquid. Suddenly, as if they could sense each-others presence, brown eyes looked up to meet blue. Santana dropped her bottle and gasped.

"Bri-Brittany?" she asked, like she was unsure if it was a hallucination or not. Brittany walked a little closer.

"Hey San," she said quietly. Santana swallowed thickly. This was the first time they had talked face to face since the night in the car.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" she slightly slurred. She got up to stand but stumbled, Brittany shot forward and grabbed her by the waist, holding her up. Their faces were inches apart, again. Santana's eyes went to the blondes lips but she didn't act on it. Instead she pushed away and steadied herself on the couch arm.

"I know you told me not to come, but I was worried about you." Brittany said, concern lacing her voice,

"You shouldn't be, I'm fine." Santana said, shaking her head. She closed her eyes, the room was silent except for their breathing, and Santana finally processed what was actually happening. Brittany was in her house, with her, alone. She pinched her eyes closed and sighed. "You should go home, I don't fucking need you," Brittany's face contorted with hurt, but she refused to back down.

"No San, you're hurting, I can tell. My heart breaks every time I see you," Brittany said, inching closer. Santana never took her eyes off the couch, but she inhaled sharply. The room was deathly quiet.

"Well that makes two of us," she mumbled. Brittany cast her eyes downward. She couldn't think of anything to say, she just wanted to hold the girl again, just one last time. So she acted on it, she took a bold step forward and reach out, tugging the Latina's arm until she let go of the couch arm.

"What are y-"Santana started, but she was cut off by Brittany pulling her into a hug. Santana wanted to reject it so badly, but it had been so long since they had touched like this. She felt herself melt into the hug, fuck it; she could feel shit about this in the morning. Right now, she relished in the way the blonde held her tightly. Brittany smiled sadly when she felt Santana wrap her arms around her, Brittany's heart soared and crashed at the same time.

"I'm sorry San," Brittany said, unsure of what else to say. Santana shifted her head so her lips were resting on the blonde's neck. She felt the Latina pinch her lips together as she thought of something to say.

"I know Brittany, but that doesn't help." Santana sighed into the hug, her heart slowly reopening its wounds. She couldn't do this, not while Brittany still had Artie, she wouldn't let herself fall back into what they use to be. So she pulled away from the hug, ignoring the blonde's hopeful expression. "You should go; I don't know what else you want me to do."

"Just talk to me San, I want our relationship to be what it was before," Santana looked up; she felt a lick of hope enter her. What they were before? "I want us to be best friends again, that's the best I can offer right now." Santana deflated, she had gotten a tiny bit of her hope up and yet that still got crushed. _Just best friends?_ She thought bitterly. Santana let out a low chuckle, and shook her head.

"That's not enough for me," Santana said honestly, Brittany could hear the bitterness in her tone.

"I don't know what else I can do San," Brittany said sadly, shaking her head. Santana took in a shaky breath; she was two seconds away from just caving and telling the blonde she'd be whatever she wanted as long as they were what they use to be. But Santana wanted something more and she couldn't stand around and watch the girl she loved belong to someone else.

"You should go. I think I need to go to sleep now," Santana said, turning away. She heard the blonde protest.

"San you aren't listening to me, you won't let me explain-"Santana cut her off.

"Just go Brittany. Make this easy on the both of us and just…" she sighed, "Leave." And with that she walked up the stairs and into her bedroom. She prayed the blonde wouldn't follow her up, because Brittany in her room alone, with a bed, was not a good thing. She exhaled out of relief when she heard the front door close and a car start up. Santana closed her eyes to relieve herself of the stinging sensation from tears threatening to fall.

She wondered how much longer she could take this.

* * *

The choir roomed slowly filled up, and Santana was talking lowly to Puck in a corner.

"I don't know if I can do this," she said, running her fingers through her hair. He grabbed her shoulder and steadied her. He looked her right in the eyes with a serious expression.

"Calm down Lezpez," Santana scowled but kept listening," it's okay, this song rocks. And so do you. Just look at me the entire time and everything will be fine." He assured. Santana took a deep breath and smiled at him fondly. She felt someone grab her arm and pull her away. She processed what was happening by the time she was near the door. She ripped her arm from the grip and seethed.

"What the fuck Fabray?" She spat, rubbing her arm where the blonde had a tight grip on it. Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Stop being a pussy. The fuck is going on with you and Puck? You guys are awfully close now," Santana glared at her and looked around the room, everyone's eyes were on them, especially a pair of striking blue ones. Her mouth twitched with anger and she pulled Quinn out of the door and into the empty hall way.

"What are you talking about? Me and Puck? Are you insane?" She said, gesturing her hand towards Quinn's head. The blonde slapped her hand away and glared.

"Am _you_ insane? Hanging around with Puck? You know he just wants to get in your pants. And from the way you guys are buddy buddy, it looks like you want to get into his too." Santana rolled her eyes and clenched her jaw.

"You don't know shit Fabray, Puck is a good person. And he knows I don't want to get into his pants, or any guys pants for the matter." Santana shut her mouth and looked around the hall, her eyes closing in relief when she saw no one there. She chastised herself for not thinking about what she was about to say. She opened her eyes and saw Quinn looking at her speechlessly.

"You mean, he knows that you're-"Santana cut through, not wanting to hear the words.

"Yes, and what happened with Brittany too. So before you go and judge everything about my life, stop and think for a second" she said, rolling her eyes. Quinn softened her features and sighed.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you about him. But it really looked like you were crushing on him. That kinda pissed me off, especially since you were all over Britt like a month ago," Santana clenched her fists.

"Don't talk about that," she seethed. Quinn frowned.

"Santana, you have to talk about it at some point, it's not good to bottle it all up. You guys can work through, I know you can. You just have to let her in," Santana scoffed.

"And what? Let her ruin me again? No thanks." Quinn rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

"She wouldn't do that to you," Santana laughed bitterly,

"You're right; she wouldn't, because she already did. The only thing written in the stars for us was this. We don't have a happy ending, this isn't a love story, it's real life Quinn." Santana said coldly, her eyes drifted to inside the choir room, where she met a pair of blue ones instantly. Santana forced herself to look away, not wanting to get lost in them again. She turned back to Quinn, who shook her head frustrated.

"She loves you San, but she doesn't want to hurt Artie." Santana clenched her jaw again; she was fed up hearing about Brittany and Artie.

"Jesus fucking Christ, don't you think I know that? Don't you think I hear it every single time we talk about this? She just doesn't get it. All she wants to be is friends but what kind of friend does that?! She made me sing that fucking song in glee club and led me on to believe she wanted what I did and, when I finally fucking admit to her about how I feel, she throws it back in my face" Santana spat, her anger bubbling, "All I ever fucking hear about is how Artie is a sweet boy and how she doesn't want to hurt him but holy fuck she should have thought about hurting me when she wanted me to talk about my feelings." Santana's chest was heaving up and down out of anger, and she felt her facial features curl into a snarl. The rant had silenced Quinn, who looked at her with a pained expression. Quinn shook her head in disappointment.

"You aren't listening S, there are other reasons too. You never want to talk with her; right now you're being the selfish one. Just talk to her and get her side, maybe then you'll realise she wasn't the only bad guy. " Santana scoffed.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Just talk to her S, that's all I'm asking. What you're doing right now isn't solving anything; you can't fix a broken heart by shoving it into a corner and blocking it out."

"I can't promise you anything," Santana warned bitterly, "Now if you're done interrogating me about nothing, I have a song to prepare for." Quinn frowned at her.

"You're singing?" She asked, she thought Santana would've opted out of this assignment. The Latina rolled her eyes.

"Didn't I just say that?" She said, before walking back into the choir room and towards Puck, who looked her with a look that asked if she was okay. She nodded and they fell into conversation. The entire time she could feel Brittany watching her. Mr Schue walked in and greeted the class, getting the same half assed greeting he always got. He droned on about some stuff that Santana, as always, blocked out. Only tuning back in when he announced her and Puck as their first singers.

"Take it away guys," he said warmly, walking over to the seats. The entire room watched with anxious eyes, waiting to see what kind of heartbreak the Latina had been through. She ignored the stares and walked over the band, handing out sheet music to the drummer. She walked to the centre and sat down on the stool, smiling when Puck sat next to her and nodded reassuringly.

"Okay, so this is a song I wrote myself," she felt her heart speed up when the choir room filled with whispers, "yeah I know, surprise surprise. Anyway here it is." She nodded to Puck and the drummer, who got ready to start playing. She kept her eyes on Puck as he strummed and smiled at her encouragingly. She took a deep breath and started singing.

 _Look what this girl done did to me  
She done cut me off from a good good love_ _  
She told me that those days were gone  
_

 _S_ antana tried her best to keep her eyes on Puck, but she found them drifting to Brittany's, who held onto her every word. She knew this song was for her, and she hated that it had already started off upsetting.

 _Now I'm sitting here goin' half crazy  
Cause I know she still thinks about me too_ _  
_ _And it ain't no way in hell  
That I can be just friends with you_

Santana's eyes never left Brittany's, but the rest of the club was oblivious to their eye battle. Brittany's conveying hurt and apology, and Santana's conveying ache and sorrow. The blonde felt her face crumple with hurt at the last line.

 _And I wish we never did it  
And I wish we never loved it  
And I wish I never fell so deep in love with you  
and now it ain't no way we can be friends_

The blonde felt her heart clench when the Latina sang about falling deep in love. She knew they were more than friends but not girlfriends. They were just lovers, drifting in and out of denial. But the message was clear; Santana couldn't be just friends anymore. It was either all or nothing; her fragile heart couldn't take anything more or less. Brittany felt torn.

 _The way it felt no fakin' it  
Maybe we were movin' just a little too fast  
But what we've done we can't take it back_

Brittany shifted uncomfortably. The song was cutting directly into her heart and she knew she'd never forget this moment. The entire glee club was silent, hooked on the song the Latina was singing. Santana looked at her with tear filled eyes, she tried to look away but she couldn't. The club wondered who this song was about, no one wrote a song that sad just for fun.

 _Now I'm sitting here halfway crazy_ _  
_ _Cause I know she still thinks about me too_ _  
_ _And it ain't no way in hell  
That I can be just friends with you_

Brittany felt the words cut deep into her heart. Santana was right, the blonde did think about her constantly. She knew that Brittany wanted to be friends, she announced that plan several times, but she couldn't. She couldn't be friends with someone who she was so deeply in love with.

 _And I wish we never did it  
And I wish we never loved it  
And I wish I never fell so deep in love with you  
and now it ain't no way we can be friends_

Santana smiled a little when some of the members of the glee club caught onto the lyrics and sang along. Santana turned back to Puck who smiled at her proudly. She was so glad that she hadn't broken down yet, but as her eyes met Brittany's again, she wasn't sure if that would stay true.  
 _And if I knew it ends like this  
I never would have kissed you cause_ _I fell in love with you_

She thought back to the first time they had kissed, on the floor of the Latina's bedroom. She wished that had never happened, looking back now, she realised that's when she had started developing feelings for Brittany.

 _We never would have kicked it  
Girl now every things different  
I've lost my only lover and my friend_

Everything _was_ different now. The blonde caught onto this and felt her heart clench for the nth time during the song, her eyes welling up with tears. _What happened to us?_ She thought sadly. Quinn took Brittany's hand and held it comfortingly; aware of whom the song was for. She had to admit the song was pretty good, if it wasn't for the depressing subject on which the song was written, she would've been nodding her head along to the song like the rest of the club. Brittany thanked god that Artie was sick with the flu and couldn't come in, 'cause this would've been hard to explain.

 _That's why I wish we never did it_ _  
Oooh yea  
And I wish we never loved it (I wish we'd never loved it)  
And I wish I never fell so deep in love with you and now it ain't no way we can be friends (we can't be friends)_

The music stop and Santana waited. The entire club burst with applause, but Brittany didn't clap. Her heart was shattering. Santana had written the saddest song she'd ever heard, and it was about her. The club buzzed with their approval but Santana listened to none of it. She stared directly into Brittany's eyes, saying a hundred things without moving her mouth. She tore her gaze away and listened to the club praise her.

"Damn girl, that song was catchy! And you wrote it yourself?" Mercedes cheered. Santana smiled and nodded.

"I agree, very well done Santana, and Puck." Mr Schue said approvingly. The glee clubs excitement died down and the brunette went to take a seat at the back, Puck following closely behind her. He tugged her arm and she turned around, he gave her a comforting smile and pulled her into a tight hug.

"I'm so proud of you San," he whispered. She closed her eyes and smiled, hugging him back.

"Thank you, Puck.' But Santana didn't feel proud. A part of her felt guilty, she just threw Brittany under the bus with a song. She wondered if singing that was the best idea, and she wondered how she could feel proud when she hurt the one person she never wanted it. Oh god she hated this weeks assignment

* * *

 _A/N **you know, now that i read over that again i hate myself for making it so sad like good god Santana just talk to her. But das okay cause they will talk in the next chapter, or maybe the one after that depending on how you guys react to this one. oh and remember, she sang that song for the assignment, not cause she felt like it.**_ _ **Leave a review and tell me what you think. Laterz Skaterz**_

 _ **song used : can't be friends- trey songz**_


	15. Chapter 15

_A/N **hola mi amigos, guess who re wrote this chapter from the talk down!? i did ! i hope you guys like the updated version cause i tried my best to make it seem nice and not insensitive and what not but i couldnt have done it without the best person in the world LananaBanana cause seriously im forever grateful to her like hands down my new favorite person. So i hope you like this new version of the chapter and i hope it cleared up the issues u had in the last and i think i'll be continuing this story, but i still plan on writing another one! thanks for everyone who fav/followed/reviewed etc. I l love you guys, seriously.**_

* * *

Santana pulled her car into the drive way and sighed. Her parents were home. She'd have to find a way to avoid them, because they were starting to pry into her life. She weighed her options, she knew that she needed advice from someone who wasn't already involved, and she needed to talk to someone new. But she was afraid, if her parents rejected her, she'd have nowhere else to go, she'd be even worse than she was now. It was too risky to tell them. She shook the thoughts from her mind and pulled they key from the ignition, she walked up her porch and shoved the key into the lock, opening the door.

She walked into the house and headed for the stairs, when she heard her mother's voice call to her.

"Mija, can you come in here please," the tone was anything but casual, it was serious. Santana frowned and walked into the living room, where she gasped. Her parents were sitting on the couch, and in front of them were bottles of empty liquor spread across the floor. She hadn't cleaned it up after Brittany had left. Her mouth was open and she struggled to find the words to say, her feet were rooted to the spot and her hands were shaking. _Calm down, just explain to them you drank it, they'll be mad but they forget it._

"What is this?" Her father asked, his tone dripping with disappointment. Santana shifted her feet.

"When you were gone, I got bored and I got drunk," she said, shrugging. Maribel and Antonio shook their heads.

"This isn't like you, mija." Her mother croaked out, "You've changed."

"People change mami, it's no big deal," Santana said, rolling her eyes.

"No, this is a big deal. You have changed for the worse," Antonio replied, "You never talk, all you do is stay up in your room. You never go out with friends either, I haven't seen Brittany in over two months." Santana winced at the mention of her best friend's name

"Tell us right now mija, what is going on with you?" Maribel demanded, "And don't you dare lie to us, because if you keep this attitude up. Then we don't think it's best you stay in Lima, for your own good." Santana felt the world close in on her, this is it. _Make the decision, tell them or don't tell them._ Santana made her decision. Her eyes welled with tears and she dropped to her knees. Her parents shot up from the couch and to her side, holding her and coaxing her.

"It's okay mija, what is it? Please tell us," Antonio begged. Santana took several shaky breaths before speaking the in the quietest possible voice.

"I'm gay." Santana cried," I'm sorry; I'm so sorry, please don't hate me." Her parents smiled at each other through the tears and took deep breaths, words couldn't describe how happy they were that their daughter had come to terms with herself, and she had finally accepted who she was.

"Oh mija, we would never hate you," Maribel said through tears, "And we are so so proud of you. We will never stop loving you, my dear. You are still our little Santana, you're still our daughter."

"Yo-you're okay with this?" Santana asked, as if they were playing a joke on her. Antonio smiled down at her and kissed her forehead.

"Of course we are, you're our baby girl. Nothing could ever stop us from being proud of you."

They held their daughter as her cries died down, and listened earnestly as she told them what happened with Brittany. As she spoke, she thought about Quinn's words. She knew the blonde was right; she had to hear out Brittany, even if it hurt. After singing that song, she wondered if Brittany was the only bad guy in their tale of woe.

"… And now we aren't talking." Santana sighed; the room was silent after she had recounted the story. She looked up at her parents who were frowning, processing the information. Maribel spoke.

"You haven't spoken since that day?" She inquired. Santana shook her head.

"No we've spoken here and there, but not for long. It hurts too much to be close to her." Santana mumbled. Maribel furrowed her brows.

"You haven't talked about this at all with her?" She asked, cocking an eyebrow. Santana looked at her confused.

"No…?" Maribel gasped.

"Mija! How will you ever solve things if you don't talk to her? You say she chose a boy over you but how can you be sure if that's what happened if you don't give her the chance to explain?" Antonio nodded.

"I agree with her mija, you need to talk to her. At least get her side, maybe you guys can work it out. You're not yourself without her." He said seriously. Santana picked at the rug on the floor and sighed.

"I'm not sure if I can handle her side."

* * *

Brittany felt tears of frustration pool in her eyes; she gripped the steering wheel of her car, parked in her schools lot. Santana never wanted to talk to her, yet she went and sang a song describing how they couldn't be friends anymore. _Of course we can't be friends; she always pushes me away when I try to talk to her._ Brittany had enough; it was one thing to ignore her, but another to sing in front of everyone like she was the only one with the broken heart. She didn't care if the Latina didn't want to be around her, she was going to talk to her, right now.

Santana didn't get it; Brittany didn't reject her just because of Artie. She thought about the last months. Brittany was devastated too, it hurt her so badly to tell Santana that she wouldn't break up with Artie for her, but that wasn't the only reason. There was so much more she wanted to say to the brunette, but she needed a way for her to listen without cutting her off or running away. She would've done whatever it took to keep Santana in her life, but the more she pushed and the more Santana pulled, she wondered if it was really a lost cause. She slammed her hands onto the steering wheel, ignoring the pain that shot up her arm. She was too pissed off to think about anything else. These past few months had been brutal for the blonde and it worse when Santana wasn't by her side. Even Puck looked at her like a bad person, which especially pissed her off.

 _Does she really think that she's the only one who is hurting, the only one who lost their best friend?_ She closed her eyes and took deep breaths, trying to clear her mind of the frustration and anger that clouded her mind. Everything was hazy and Brittany felt like she wanted to scream. Artie had called her a few times but she couldn't get distracted right now, she had one thing on her mind. She had to go to Santana's house.

She put the key into the ignition and felt the car roar to life, it was time for Santana to the full truth, and this time Brittany wasn't backing down, no matter how much the brunette protested.

* * *

Brittany pulled up to Santana's house and took deep breaths, she observed the driveway. Her stance weakened a little when she saw the older Lopez's cars parked. _They're home,_ she thought. She thought about aborting for a split second, before shaking her head. _No, don't put this off. Go._ She gave herself a confident nod and got out of the car, the closer she got to the door, the more the fire inside her burned. She knocked hard on the door, listening to the footsteps that came closer. The door swung open to reveal a flustered looking Santana. Her mouth dropped open when she saw Brittany standing there, with determination etched across her face.

"We need to talk. Now." Brittany demanded. Santana frowned, _the hell._ Before she could reply, she heard her mother yell out.

"Mija? Who's at the door?" Maribel rounded the corner and saw Brittany standing at the door, staring right at Santana. "Brittany!" She said, a little confused, "what are you doing here?" Brittany took her eyes of Santana, who looked slightly scared, and turned to Maribel.

"Hello Maribel, I'm sorry I came without notice, but I really need to talk to Santana. It's urgent." Brittany emphasised the urgent part to get her message across. Maribel looked at Santana a little concerned; she knew that Santana had to talk to Brittany at one point. After all, one side to the story isn't always the full one.

"Of course, I'll just… Go get some things for dinner. Antonio! Come, we are going out shopping." She called, before turning away. Santana stood awkwardly in the doorway. She cleared her throat a little.

"Um, do… You want to come up to my room?" Santana asked hesitantly. She felt a little guilty, she knew the blonde was here to talk about the song, she knew it was shitty for her to sing it. Brittany nodded before brushing past Santana and going up to the room, with the brunette following behind. Brittany went through the door first and walked half way through the room, before turning back towards the Latina, who was closing the door. Brittany crossed her arms over her chest and took a deep breath, trying to keep from exploding. Santana avoided eye contact, before quietly speaking.

"I don't know what you want to talk about," Santana lied; she knew exactly what the blonde was here for.

"Santana, don't lie to me. I know you know, and we're going to talk about this right now," Brittany said seriously, Santana had never heard her so serious before, "How about I start? What the fuck was that song?" The brunette's eyes widened, she had heard the blonde swear before but in this context it seemed much stronger.

"It was for the assignment," Santana said vaguely, picking at the top of her vanity draw, Brittany knew that was a sign she was nervous.

"Oh my god Santana, I'm so sick of this. You act like you're the only one who got hurt, do you even know why I said no to you in the first place?!" Brittany cried. Santana felt anger bubble in her veins, this was happening, they were going to get it all out of their systems.

"Yes Brittany I do! It's because you chose fucking Stubbles over me and broke my fucking heart" Santana spat. Brittany ran her fingers through her hair and gripped at it frustrated.

"YOU WEREN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO HAD THEIR HEART BROKEN" Brittany yelled exasperatedly. Santana was slightly taken a back, but her anger bubbled through.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Santana asked, cocking one eye brow. Brittany laughed out of bitter and pure frustration.

"It means you hurt me more times than I have hurt you." Brittany ranted," Do you remember that you said to me before? How sex wasn't dating? How you were a lizard and how you needed a warm body? Did you ever think how it made me feel when you would fuck me and then ditch me in the morning?" Santana winced at the crassness," How much it hurt whenever you told me we were just hooking up and it meant nothing? It meant something to _me_. All those times you lashed out because you were confused with yourself, all those times you told me that it was just practice and that you didn't love me. You rejected me more times than I can count. It hurt me so much, but did you care? No, you were more concerned about how you felt, I didn't mean anything." Santana scowled and threw her hands up.

"That's not true!" Santana spat. Brittany raised an eyebrow.

"Then tell me Santana, tell me right now. Did I mean anything to you back then?" Brittany challenged. Santana looked away and shook her head; her anger was dissolving and all she was feeling was frustration and a little bit of self-loathing.

"Of course you did, you meant the world to me." Santana said deflated, looking the blonde in her eyes. "I was scared, I was falling in love with you and I didn't want to. If I told you it meant nothing then I would believe it too."

"I didn't want to believe it Santana, I would've done anything for you, but every time you left me in the morning or pushed me away, it broke my heart." Brittany said honestly, they weren't yelling at each other anymore, this is what Brittany wanted all along. Just an honest talk with Santana, that's all she asked for.

" _I_ broke you're heart?! You broke mine too Brittany. Did you tell me that you were in love with me? Did I tell you I love you too but I love someone else more?" Santana asked sarcastically. Brittany pinched her eyes closed.

"I never said I love Artie more than I love you!" Brittany exclaimed, "You were scared San, you even told me that when you said "I'm scared of all the talks and the looks." If we dated then it wouldn't have changed anything. We would've been in the shadows like before. And I didn't want that." Santana took a step closer and shook her head.

"That's not fair Brittany, I can't decide when I'm going to be ready," Santana sighed," Of course I would have loved to do all those things, call you my girl and love you in front of everyone. But I'm not strong like you. If I was then I would've gladly done all that with you. If you didn't want to be in the shadows then why did you make me talk about my feelings? Why the fuck did you make me sing Landslide with you if you knew that you weren't going to be with me? Why did you make me think that you loved me?" Brittany softened her facial features and stepped closer, taking Santana's hand in hers. She smiled a little when the Latina didn't pull away, they were making progress.

"I _do_ love you San, I don't know how many times I can tell you that to make you believe it," Brittany said sincerely," I wanted you to be happy with yourself, I could see it every time we had sex, that look in your eyes when we were done. You looked so confused; I know you were scared that I could make you feel better than any guy, and not because I'm incredibly good in the sheets. I'm not saying that the only way we would be together is if you came out to everyone. When I said 'I didn't want that' I meant I didn't want _you_ to be in the shadows. I wanted you to come to terms with who you were, I didn't want you to just tell me you love me, I wanted you to love yourself," Santana felt tears come down her face, and Brittany brushed them away with her thumb, smiling softly.

"Can you tell me that you love yourself?" Brittany asked. Santana looked into her eyes and softened, all the pain was fading and she felt her heartache dull significantly. It all made much more sense, Brittany did it for her, and she rejected her because Santana would've destroyed them by hiding their relationship. She would've destroyed herself by hiding who she was. It felt so good to talk to Brittany; to get some kind of closure.

"I told my parents," Santana said quietly, not breaking eye contact. Brittany looked at her confused.

"You told them about our fight?" Brittany asked. Santana smiled a little and shook her head.

"No, well yes, but I told them something else too." She took a deep breath, and took Brittany's hands, swaying them idly;" I told them I'm gay." She took her eyes away from Brittany for a second before flickering them back to the blonde's face, who had the biggest grin on. Before she knew what was happening, she felt herself get pulled into a hug.

"I'm so fucking proud of you, San," Brittany said, holding her friend close. Santana smiled into the hug and wrapped her arms around her friend again. Santana laughed a little.

"We're so messed up, Britt." Santana mumbled. Brittany pulled away from the hug and laughed too.

"Britt? So we're back to nicknames now?" Santana shrugged playfully.

"Saying your full name is too tiring," Brittany shook her head and grinned. They stood in silence for a few seconds, before Santana sighed.

"So, what happens to us now? Where do we go from here?" Santana asked hesitantly. Brittany gave her a tight lipped smile and grabbed her hand, leading her to the bed and sitting down.

"Honestly, I don't know. I just… I'm still confused." Santana nodded and looked around the room, before taking a deep breath.

"Well, then let's make you less confused," Brittany tilted her head in question," Brittany, do you love me?" Santana asked straightforward.

"Of course I do, I told you that before," Brittany said without hesitation. Santana smiled a little and shook her head, looking her friend straight in the eyes.

"No, I mean, are you _in love_ with me?" Santana saw Brittany hesitate and kept talking, "forget Artie, forget these past months and just tell me, are you in love with me?" Brittany heard her head answer her instantly; _yes I am madly in love with you._ Brittany slowly nodded her head.

"I think I've always been in love with you San, like honestly how could I not have fallen in love?" Brittany said with a soft smile," you were everything I ever wanted, _want."_

"You told me last time that you wanted to be friends again, can you honestly tell me that that's all you want Brittany? For us to be _just_ friends?" Santana asked, "Because you know how I feel now Brittany, I'm not pushing you away or rejecting you. Signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours." Brittany laughed softly at her friend's use of the song and felt her heart flutter.

"Honestly? I don't want us to just be friends, and I'm pretty sure we were never just really friends, we were always something more. We were Brittany and Santana," she said, a smile tugging at her lips, before it was replaced by a grimace, "but there's Artie, and I don't know how I feel about him anymore, but I'm scared of hurting him. You know I've never been good at that kind of stuff," Santana nodded understandingly, even though she was still confused.

"Britt, you shouldn't have to hurt yourself just so you don't hurt someone else. Just because Artie sees you in his life, doesn't mean that you have to see him in yours. I know you don't want to hurt him, but if you're in love with me, it's not fair on both of you if you stay with him." Brittany contemplated this, but didn't speak. Santana still sensed hesitation and sighed.

"Maybe you should think about this, I don't want to pressure you into anything you don't want to do. I want you to do what you want to do, not what everyone else wants you to do," Santana smiled and got up, taking Brittany's hand and walking her to her front door. Santana turned around and gave Brittany a hug. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" Brittany nodded softly and walked out the door, her emotions stirring inside of her.

Brittany walked to her car and got inside, she took deep breaths, unsure if what just happened actually happened. She felt around for her phone and picked it up; dialling Quinn's number and frantically. She heard the line click through and sigh with relief.

"Brittany? Hey, is everything okay?" Quinn asked with concern, Brittany shook her head even though the blonde couldn't see her, because yes, everything was perfect.

"Yes everything's okay, I need to tell you something and you can't talk until I'm done, okay? Just listen…"Brittany said as she dove into what just happened between her and Santana. Quinn kept to her word and didn't speak besides the occasional scream when Brittany recounted as much of the detail as possible, yelling incoherently about something that sounded a lot like 'Brittana bitches! It's so on!' When Brittany finished the story, ending with her unsure of what to do with Artie, Quinn went silent. She knew that the other blonde was thinking and waited anxiously for her view.

"Britt, I want to you imagine something. Don't think about it; just imagine the first thing that comes to your mind when I say this, you ready?" Brittany hummed in agreement, "Okay, picture the person you love, picture the way they smile when they look at you, the way they laugh that special laugh that makes you melt inside. Picture the way their eyes light up and twinkle every time they see you, the way they do stupid fun things just to make you smile. Picture the love of your life. Now Brittany, can you tell me that you pictured Artie?" Brittany felt her breath hitch, because no, she didn't see Artie. She saw a brunette Latina with tanned skin and a killer smile. Quinn took her silence as a good sign and hummed in satisfaction.

"You okay?," Quinn asked softly. Brittany gripped her phone and swallowed, she felt her head clearing.

"Thank you Quinn, I love you," she practically yelled as she hung up the phone and turned her car on. She felt determined now; she knew what she had to do. She wondered why it took her so long to realise that she had only really ever been in love with Santana.

* * *

Brittany knocked furiously on the window of Santana's bedroom. She smiled when she heard the brunette rush over to the window, her glasses perched on her face while she was holding a chemistry text book.

"Jesus Christ," Santana said, sliding the window open. Brittany hopped in and scrunched her nose.

"No? It's me, Brittany," she said. Santana rolled her eyes playfully and walked over to her desk, she put down her books and turned to face the blonde.

"So, any reason why you're knocking on my window like a crazy hobo?" Santana asked quizzically. Brittany merely shrugged and flopped down on the bed. After leaving Arties house she felt exhausted, but it was all said and done now. She turned to Santana and smiled, giggling at the way Santana's eyes averted and she looked puzzled. Santana shook her head and laughed. They sat in silence for a few seconds before Santana took a deep breath.

"Can I say something?" Santana asked softly, she had been thinking about this the entire time after Brittany had left her house. She had realised that while they had sorted out their issues, Santana hadn't told her everything that she felt, and since their relationship was way more open now, she didn't want to hide anything.

"Okay?" Brittany said hesitantly. Santana took a deep breath and paced the room, fiddling with her hands.

"I know you're still a little wary about what to do, and we've bottled up so many feelings so I'm just going to lay out everything." Santana stopped pacing and walked towards the blonde, taking Brittany's hand in hers and continuing. "Britt, I love you. I love you more than I've ever loved anything in this world. You're everything I ever wanted, you're the only one who makes me smile in the morning when I'm at my angriest, you're the one who knows everything about me. You're everything that's good in this miserable, stinking world. Every time I look at you it's like I fall in love all over again, I fall in love with the way you scrunch your face when you're confused, the way you smile this special smile only for me, the way you make me feel better with one small touch. You're my world Brittany, I know this is a little fast and I know we just got out of a fight but this is everything I never told you, everything I should have told you," Brittany felt her heart flutter, "I have loved you since the day we met, the day you took your pinkie in mine and every day after that. And I know we're still in high school and we don't know anything about love, but I'd gladly like to find out with you." Santana's lips pulled up into a smile, "You're my other half Brittany, the missing piece inside of me. You're my first love, and I know that in this crazy messed up world, you're going to be my last love as well." Brittany's breath hitched and she felt tears springing to her eyes, Santana didn't give her a chance to reply though, before she stood up.

"I just wanted you to know that, and I don't want to pressure you into doing anything you don't want to. So you should go and think about what you want Brittany, not what other people want for you," she smiled softly at her and bent down, giving the blonde a sweet kiss on the cheek. Santana pulled away, only to be very thoroughly shocked when Brittany pulled her face back down and connected their lips. The blondes lips moved fluidly with hers and it took the brunette a second to realise they were actually kissing. Like full on, lip on lip, not a dream, kissing. She then _realised_ they were kissing and abruptly pulled away, immediately missing the feeling of her lips on Brittany.

"What was that Britt?" She asked breathlessly. Brittany watched her with dark eyes and licked her lips.

"I kissed you," she said simply. Santana only stared at her in confusion because an hour ago Brittany was still confused about Artie and now she was kissing her. Talk about mixed signals.

"But why? I thought you didn't want to do tha _t stuff,_ not while you're with Artie," Santana said slowly. Brittany only gave her a slightly sad, tight lipped smile before speaking.

"I broke up with Artie."

* * *

 _A/N **Spooky ending amirite? Please tell me you guys liked it, or at least liked it better than my last version? Leave a review and tell me what you think! Laterz Skaterz. I am also sorry for any mistakes cause its like 3:27 AM in AUS and i a d**_


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N **Hey i am back and this time its a nice chapter ! surprise i bet u thought i was incapable of love, which is true but still this is a happy one. The party chapter will be the next one btw and this chapter shows Artie and Brittany's break up which was hard since i dont know how to write break ups im 15 what would i know about breaking up amirite okay anyway so i hope you like this chapter! this fic will probably go for around 20 maybe more chapters. Anyway i'm glad people liked the last chapter more than the original version thats great okay thanks to everyone who reviewed/fav/followed. Oh you might wonder why i'm updating so often it's because school is starting again and this term is exams and i dont think ill have time to update every week if im too busy so the less chapters i have left the more i can put detail and stuff in so yeah. ENjoy!**_

* * *

 _"_ _I broke up with Artie,"_

Santana stilled, _did I hear that right?_ She looked at Brittany who was studying her intently. _Would it be considered rude if I started cheering?_ Santana decided against doing that, and instead fumbled with her words.

"Wh-what? You broke up with him? When?" Santana asked, trying to not to sound too enthusiastic. Brittany shrugged.

"Like," she looked over at Santana's bed side clock, which read 7:44PM, "An hour ago," Santana didn't know what to say, she settled for the basic questions.

"Are you okay?" She asked hesitantly, sitting down on the bed next to the blonde. Brittany turned to face her and sighed. She nodded slowly, her lips twitching with a small smile.

"I think so; it hurt to see him look sad but…" Brittany took Santana's hand in hers and smiled," I couldn't stay with him when my heart belongs to someone else." Santana supressed the urge to kiss Brittany again, curiosity getting the better of her.

"What happened? If you want talk about it then I'm here for you. Did he take it well? He didn't insult you right? Cause I'll go all Lima Heights on that mother-"Santana said, beginning her rant. Brittany cut through and shook her head in amusement.

"What? No, no he didn't. He was just, sad. It sucked that I had to hurt him but I guess it was for the best, you know?" Santana nodded and listened as Brittany went into detail about the break up.

* * *

 _FLASH BACK_

 _Brittany took a deep breath as she knocked on the door to the Abrams house hold. She had this entire speech planned out, but the more she revised it, the more cliché is started to sound. Before she could plan another one, the door opened to reveal a smiling Artie._

 _"_ _Hey baby! I didn't know you were coming over, what's up?" Brittany gave him a tight lipped smile and took a deep breath,_ _this is it_ _, she thought._

 _"_ _Hey Artie, can I come in?" Artie realised he was blocking the door and nodded, wheeling out of the way. Brittany stepped through the threshold and rubbed her palms on her jeans. "Thanks." They stood, or half stood half sat, facing each other for a few awkward seconds. Artie sensed the troubled feeling and took on a concerned expression._

 _"_ _Is everything okay…?" He asked, tilting his head to one side. Brittany felt nerves bubbling in her stomach,_ _now or never._ _She swallowed thickly and took a deep breath._

 _"_ _Can we talk? Somewhere private, like your back yard?" She asked motioning towards the back door. He looked at her confused a little scared but nodded, leading her to the door. They went out onto the patio and Brittany took a seat on one of the chairs. She twiddled her fingers and sighed, closing her eyes briefly._

 _"_ _Look, Artie, I don't know how else to say this so I'm going to just be honest-"Brittany started, before she was interrupted by Artie's sad voice._

 _"_ _You're breaking up with me, aren't you?" he stated, rather than questioned. Brittany open and closed her mouth, trying to find the right words to say, before she settled for no words and nodded solemnly. He cast his eyes downward and took a shaky breath._

 _"_ _Can I ask why?" He asked sadly. Brittany ran her fingers through her hair and bit her lip, trying to think of what to say._

 _"_ _I just… I don't feel the same way you do about us. Artie I really like you, believe me I do, but honestly? I don't like you in that way anymore." Brittany said softly. Artie nodded slowly, taking in this information._

 _"_ _Did you ever? You know… Like me?" He asked in a small voice that made Brittany feel guilt punch at her stomach._

 _"_ _Of course I did, Artie you have to believe me,' she said sincerely," I really liked you at the start, but…" She trailed off, not knowing what else to say._ _Man, break ups are hard._

 _"_ _But you don't feel the same way anymore," he finished for her, she nodded sadly. He gave her a tight lipped smile, "I get it, I mean this hurts like a bitch, but I get it. I could tell you were drifting off, with everything going on with Santana, I guess you just closed off a little." Brittany nodded._

 _"_ _I'm sorry Artie; I was a bad girlfriend these last weeks, you deserved someone better, I just, I don't know. I'm sorry, you deserve a better explanation than this, I don't know what else to say," she said sheepishly. Artie nodded and hesitated._

 _"_ _Uh, can you-um, I just…" he fumbled with his words before he took a deep breath," is there someone else? Is that why you don't feel the same way anymore?" He asked with such a fragile voice that she couldn't lie to him. She bit her lip and tried to think of the words to say._

 _"_ _You can be honest, it's not like it'll do much damage now." He added slightly bitterly._

 _"_ _When I started dating you, I really liked you; you know that right?" He nodded, "but I wasn't completely devoted to you, my heart wasn't fully yours. And I thought that maybe you could've gained it, but I never really lost it in the first place, it always belonged to someone else, you know? God this sounds so bad," she mumbled. Artie gave a small laugh._

 _"_ _You're not good at this are you?" he asked. Brittany shook her head and sighed._

 _"_ _I'm really sorry Artie, I don't want to hurt you but, I can't stay with you." She said honestly._

 _"_ _I get it." He said with a bitter edge, before sighing and softening his voice," You can't control your feelings. It just sucks we have to break up, but I'd do the same thing if I was in your position. I guess I'm grateful you actually liked me at one point," he looked out at the back yard. They sat in silence before Brittany stood up; she walked over to Artie and gave him a tight hug._

 _"_ _Thank you for taking this so well, you're a good guy Artie, any girl would be lucky to have you," she said, she kissed him on the cheek and smiled down at him. He gave her a tight lipped smile and nodded._

 _"_ _You should go, I think my mum is going to be home soon and I don't want her to rope you into dinner, that would be awkward," Brittany gave a soft laugh and nodded._

 _"_ _Friends?" She asked hesitantly. Artie looked at her uncertainly._

 _"_ _Hopefully," Brittany nodded understandingly and made her way to the door, not hearing Artie say in a small voice,_

 _"_ _I hope everything works out between you and her,"_

* * *

Brittany finished her story, and Santana sat there wordlessly.

"Wow, he took that really well," Santana breathed. Brittany nodded and looked into her friends eyes. Santana could see the sadness that still swirled around the blue eyes and had an idea. "Well, you just went through a break up, and I'm pretty sure it's the law that we go and pig out on food and watch stupid movies. What do you say?" Santana asked, standing up and holding out her hand to Brittany. The blonde looked up at her friend, whose face was bunched up in a cute smile and her eyes twinkling, _adorable._ Brittany slapped her hand into Santana's and let herself get pulled up.

"That's what I'm talking about!" Santana hollered, "Now, let's get your tum tum a yum yum and we can have a super fun night to help you forget stubbles," Brittany smiled and followed Santana down stairs. She hopped up on the kitchen bench and watched the brunette rummage through the draws.

"You kind of look like the crazy hobo now," Brittany teased. Santana was reaching into the freezer for some ice cream and turned her head to face the blonde. She narrowed her eyes, before she realised she actually did look like one. Her hair was let down but it was sprawled across her shoulders, she was wearing a Nike hoodie and some cheerios shorts. Her glasses were still perched on her nose and she was rummaging around for food.

"You mean a hot hobo," Santana corrected. Brittany tilted her head and shrugged her shoulders lightly, as if to say _yeah true._

"Still a hobo," Brittany shot back. Santana mocked offence before she pulled out a tub of ice cream and got two spoons.

"Just for that, you get the little spoon," Santana said, pushing the two different sized spoons into the tug and sticking her tongue out. Brittany gasped and put her head in her hands and shook it.

"Oh! How ever will I survive with the small spoon?!" she said dramatically. Santana laughed and Brittany watched the way her eyes crinkled and her dimples flashed, it was like looking at a five year old laugh, and she loved it.

"You sound so much like Rachel I was scared you were going to break into a song about Finn," Santana said, pulling out some popcorn and a few drinks. Brittany laughed and stood up to help her friend bring the snacks to her room. They piled them all on the bed and Santana plugged the cord into the TV that linked up her laptop.

"So, what do you want to watch?" Santana asked, going to her shelf that held an impressive collection of movies. Brittany walked up behind her and Santana felt her lungs give out when she felt Brittany's presence incredibly close to her, she could feel the heat radiating off the blonde. Brittany studied the collections of movies before shooting her arm out abruptly to grab one off the shelf. She held it up excitedly.

"Footloose?" Santana asked. Brittany nodded happily and danced her way to the TV. Santana watched her with dreamy eyes. _Could she be any more perfect?_ She thought. Brittany put the movie into the laptop's disk compartment and walked over to the bed, dropping down on it ungracefully. Santana laughed and followed suit, sitting down next to the blonde whose eyes were glued to the opening scenes of the movie. They wiggled into a comfortable position subconsciously. It was only when Santana looked down at Brittany did she realise that they had formed a very intimate position. Brittany was lying sideways, with her head resting on Santana's lap. Suddenly the brunette began to panic. _Holy shit, what do I do with my hands? Oh get it together Lopez, you always do this, just think, where do you always put your hands? Oh fuck I don't know._ Santana's hands hovered over the blonde's head; Brittany seemed unaware of the odd hand movements. She finally rested them on her thighs, but quickly found the position to be uncomfortable, due to the lack of space. She moved her hands around, backing in and out of resting them on Brittany's arm or tangling them in her hair. This time, Brittany noticed.

"San, what are you doing with your hands? You look like one of the zombies in the Thriller," Brittany teased, looking at her friend who had two hands suspended in mid-air. Santana bit her lip, _damn it, that was a good joke_ , and she huffed.

"I don't know where to put my hands," she admitted sheepishly. Brittany looked at her like she was crazy; she shook her head lightly at her friend's hesitation and brought up her own hand. She grabbed one of the hands hanging in the air and laced it with her own. She smiled when Santana didn't make a move to pull away, but instead squeezed the hand lightly.

"Well, now you only have to worry about one hand," Brittany said simply, bringing the hand that was laced with hers down to her chest. Santana hummed in amusement and rested her other hand on the blonde's arm. She ignored the burning sensation of their skins touching and tried to focus on the movie, until a horrifying thought hit her as she looked down at Brittany's head resting in her lap.

 _Oh shit, what if I have to fart?_

* * *

"Now I feel like dancing," Brittany said as she stretched her arms, watching the Latina take out the disk from her laptop. Santana hummed in agreement before walking over to her stereo. "Can I ask you a question?" Santana looked up from her phone's music list and nodded in slight confusion.

"Did you mean it?" Brittany asked. Santana only looked more confused.

"Mean what?" Santana asked, before it hit her, "Are you talking about what I said before?" Brittany nodded.

"You said you love me more than anything else in this world and that I'm your first love. Did you mean it?" Santana looked at her incredulously.

"Of course I did!" She said without question. "Don't you believe me?" Brittany widened her eyes.

"No no! Wait no, yes! I do believe you but," Brittany sighed, looking down at her lap," I waited for so long to hear you say those things, and I just feel like this whole night is going to be a dream and I'll wake up tomorrow in my bed. I'll go to school and you won't even look at me and I'll spend the rest of my time thinking about this wonderful dream I had." Santana felt her heart crack. She walked over to the blonde and pinched her arm.

"Ow, what was that for?" Santana smirked at her.

"I pinched you, and you felt it. It's not a dream." Santana said simply. Brittany pouted at her. Santana just winked and held her hand out for the blonde to take. Brittany looked at her in question but nevertheless took her hand. Santana pulled her up so they were eye level, not letting go of her hand.

"I told you before that I was yours, didn't I?" Brittany remembered back to what she had said earlier, _"Signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours,"_ Brittany recited in her head. She nodded. Santana smiled, "well, if you still don't believe me, then I guess I'll have to prove it even more," she led the blonde to the stereo, letting go of her hands to pick out the song. Brittany laughed when she heard the song float through the speakers; Santana held her hand out again grabbed the blondes, unexpectedly twirling her. The many years of dance Brittany allowed her to spin gracefully without warning. Santana started singing along with the song, dancing and twirling Brittany as they danced around the room.

 _Well you done done me and you bet I felt it_ _  
_ _I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted_ _  
_ _I fell right through the cracks_

Santana dramatically dipped Brittany down; bring her back up and spinning her around, like they were dancing in a ball.

 _Before the cool done run out  
I'll be giving it my bestest_ _  
_ _Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention_ _  
_ _I reckon it's again my turn, to win some or learn some_

Brittany grinned uncontrollably as Santana continued to serenade her; they danced around the room without a care in the world. Santana pulled Brittany closer and looked her directly in the eyes while she sang the next lines, and Brittany felt her heart swoon.

 _But I won't hesitate no more, no more  
It cannot wait, I'm yours_

Brittany saw the sincerity in the Latina's eyes as she continued to sing and dance around. Santana sang the next few choruses before she pulled Brittany closer to her, dancing slowly and resting their foreheads together as she sang the last few verses.

 _I won't hesitate no more, no more  
It cannot wait I'm yours  
_ _There's no need to complicate_ _  
_ _Our time is short_ _  
_ _This is our fate, I'm yours_

Both girls failed to hear the bedroom door opening. They also failed to see two pair of eyes, belonging to the Lopez parents looking shocked, but then quickly watching excitedly from the door, pushing each other to get the best view of their daughter dancing with her love.

 _Well open up your mind and see like me_ _  
_ _Open up your plans and damn you're free_ _  
_ _Look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours_ _  
Oh this oh this oh this is our fate, I'm yours_

Santana sang the last lines before she dipped the blonde down again unexpectedly and kissed her, like they were in a Disney movie. Santana almost dropped Brittany when they heard a very girly, yet very happy, scream from the door way. Santana looked in horror at both her parents standing in the doorway, and Brittany looked on in confusion. Santana's mouth dropped open when she heard her mother scold her father.

"Dios mío ¿qué has hecho Antonio! ( _my god what have you done Antonio)_ " Maribel hissed, slapping her husband on the shoulder, she looked back at the two girls before smiling nervously. "Just came to tell you we brought take away, and we did not at all see what you were doing so you can most definitely continue, we're just going to um, watch some TV." She grabbed Antonio, who was still very much smiling happily, by the arm and pulled him away from the door. Santana groaned as she heard her mom shout from downstairs just as she pulled Brittany back up.

"Door open, mija!" she yelled. Santana's mouth twitched as she was trying to figure out what just happened. Brittany raised both her eye brows and pulled her lips in, then blew air out, breaking the awkward silence.

"I didn't know your dad could squeal like that," Brittany said with amusement. Santana buried her face in her hands out of embarrassment.

* * *

"Okay, next question," Santana said as her and Brittany lay on the bed, facing each other. It was late at night but neither girl wanted to sleep yet, neither wanted this night to end. Brittany hummed in anticipation, "If you were a ghost, who would you haunt?" Brittany chuckled at this but then went into deep thought.

"I'd haunt you," she said simply. Santana frowned and looked shocked.

"What?! You'd haunt me? Why?' Santana asked. Brittany giggled and shrugged.

"Cause, if I die and haunt you, we could still hang out. We'd be best friends even when I'm dead," she said simply. Santana smiled sweetly.

"That was oddly charming," she said, eye brow raised in confusion and a smile on her lips. Brittany shrugged.

"I'm the definition of charming," Brittany bragged. Santana laughed and nodded sarcastically.

"Whatever Pierce," Brittany only smiled back smugly, nudging the Latina.

"I'll _pierce_ your heart," Brittany mused. Santana groaned.

"That pun physically hurt to hear," Santana said, smiling regardless. Brittany pouted and poked her in the side, Santana swatted her hand away. "You're such a dork," Brittany only smiled challengingly.

"But I'm _your_ dork, right?" Brittany held her breath, if this was months ago, Santana would have deflected the question or ignored it. Would this time be any different?

"No," Brittany felt herself deflate, Santana turned to her and tucked a piece of hair behind Brittany's ear, whispering softly, "You're mi princesa _(my princess)_ ," she leaned in a placed a soft kiss on Brittany's lips. The blonde felt her heart expand in her chest, Santana pulled away and smiled, only to get pulled back by the blonde in a more passionate kiss. Their lips crashed together, their tongues danced with each other, and at some point Santana ended up straddling her, hands tangled in blonde hair while Brittany ran her hands up, down and all around her body. Santana moaned when Brittany dragged her bottom lip between her teeth. It was getting hot in the room and Santana didn't know if she could _just_ keep kissing. Reluctantly she pulled away, her chest heaving and her lips swollen. She bit her lip when she looked down at Brittany, whose hair was messy and her eyes dark with lust. She swallowed at the sight and sighed.

"We should stop," she said in between breaths, "I don't want to get it on when my parents are in the house, they already walked in on us kissing before," Brittany nodded in agreement and ran her fingers through her hair, trying to tame it.

"Maybe you should stop straddling me if you don't want me to make you scream my name," Brittany said casually. Santana's mouth dropped open in disbelief; Brittany only shrugged and winked at her. Santana rolled her eyes playfully and got off the blonde, dropping down next to her and sighing. She took Brittany's hand in hers and intertwined their fingers.

"Do you think it's going to be weird at Rachel's party?" Santana asked, "You know, with you and Artie?" Brittany thought about this before shaking her head.

"I don't think so; I mean we agreed to stay friends so…" She trailed off. They fell into a comfortable silence before Brittany yawned. Santana smiled, _she's so cute._

"Go to sleep, Britt," Santana said softly, Brittany mumbled something incoherently and Santana smiled. The blonde moved closer and cuddled up to her, smiling when Santana opened up her arms so their bodies could be pressed flush against each other. Santana leaned down and gave Brittany a kiss on the forehead, saying good night to her as her breathing evened out. Santana stayed up a little longer, thinking about the day's events. Everything seemed to be moving so quickly, it was just yesterday that Santana hadn't been talking to Brittany, and yet here she was, cuddled up in her arms.

Now she understood what Brittany had meant when she said it felt like a dream, because it did. But they were Santana and Brittany, rules didn't apply to them. They were always different, in a good way, they were meant to be together, in one way or another, whether it be as friends or girlfriends. That also confused Santana; they hadn't established what they were. Were they seeing each other? Dating? Girlfriends? They had said I love you to each other already, Santana had said she was Brittany's, and called the blonde her princess. She wondered if they were in a relationship yet. _Am I ready for that?_ She thought to herself. _Of course I'm ready to be with her, I just don't think I'm ready for everyone to know._ She shook the thoughts from her head, she'd ask Brittany tomorrow. She looked down at blonde and smiled.

She thought that this might have been the best night of her life.

* * *

Brittany walked out the bathroom and gasped when she saw Santana still lying on the bed, not changed. She picked up one of the pillows on the floor and threw it at Santana, who squealed uncontrollably.

"First of all, did you just squeal? Like father like daughter am i right?" Brittany laughed when Santana blushed and shook her head furiously, "second of all, why are you not dressed?" Santana groaned.

"Ughh, I don't know if I want to go to a Rachel Berry party, I have this weird feeling that it's going to be exactly like a tea party. My Mexican third eye senses are tingling," Santana said seriously, tapping her forehead. Brittany rolled her eyes and pouted.

"But we have to go! It's a glee party and I want to dance," Brittany said, Santana avoided eye contact; if she looked at the pout then she'd definitely give in.

"We danced yesterday," Santana reasoned, her breath hitched when Brittany came closer and rested her palm on her thighs, leaning in close and whispering in her ear.

"That was fun, sweet dancing. I want to do the hot, dirty dancing, with you." Santana pinched her eyes shut and whimpered when she felt the blonde kiss down her neck.

"I can't believe you're trying to convince me to go by seducing me," Santana breathed, bunching the sheets in the hands to prevent her grabbing Brittany and throwing her down on the bed. Brittany giggled against her jawline where she was pressing kisses, and moved up to her ear again.

"Is it working?" she whispered, kissing a path down her neck and then licking it. Santana groaned, before pushing the blonde away and narrowing her eyes.

"You win this time, princesa," Santana said, still slightly out of breath as she walked over to her wardrobe, pulling out a dress and some new panties for the ones that were just ruined. Brittany clapped happily, grinning and pumping her fist in the air.

"I love it when you call me princesa," Brittany cooed. Santana looked back at Brittany and smiled. She realised she hadn't asked about what they were. This was perfect opportunity, she opened her mouth. _Just ask her if you're dating._

"Britt-" Santana started, only to get cut off by the ringing of Brittany's phone. The blonde looked at her apologetically before picking up. She nodded and said yes a few times into the phone before hanging up.

"It's Quinn, she's at the door right now, I'll go open it for her while you get changed okay? Okay break!" Brittany said enthusiastically, before running out the door. Santana chucked at Brittany's antics before she scowled. _Fucking Fabray, cock blocker._ She shook her head and went to the bathroom; she'd ask her later tonight.

* * *

 _A/N **Antonio's scream was based off of mine when i watched ' A Wedding' and the song Hey Ya! came on, i wanted to vomit was that show even real i dont understand i was mortally outraged i cannot believe they did that my OTP feelings were sky rocketing. Lmao review if u like it home skillets. Laterz Skaterz**_

 _ **Song used was- I'm yours- Jason Mraz**_


	17. Chapter 17

_A/N **hola i have returned and this time just a day before i said i would lol but anyway this is the party chapter and i think i dont know what parties are like because i spend almost all my time studying but im still below average lol okay i hope you enjoy this chapter! thnx to everyone who reviewed/fav/followed it means a lot! okay enjoy this chapter toot toot pingu**_

* * *

Santana was putting on her make up when she heard the bathroom door open, close, and then lock. She looked into the mirror and saw Brittany watching her, with lust filled eyes.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Santana asked curiously, the stare was making her slightly nervous, and if she's being honesty, kind of turned on.

"Oh no reason…" Brittany said, walking up behind the brunette and trailing her fingers on her shoulder. She smirked when Santana shuddered at the simple touch, "just thinking about tonight. How much fun we're going to have, dancing with each other, dancing on each other." Santana couldn't take her eyes off of the blue ones that were staring at her through the mirror.

"Dancing is fun," Santana breathed. She hands gripped the edge of the sink when Brittany leaned in and whispered in Santana's ear, her breath floating across the brunettes neck made her twitch with anticipation.

"Yeah, I agree. I hope she has food there, 'cause eating is fun too…" she trailed off, before Santana knew it, there were hands on her hips and she was spinning around. Her eyes met blue ones and she realised how close their faces were, her eyes flickered to Brittany's lips. "But eating you is more fun," Santana felt her eyes widened but before she could reply, the blonde crashed their lips together. Their lips slid against each other perfectly, and Santana had forgotten what a good kisser Brittany was. Santana tongue swiped Brittany's lip and she deepened the kiss. Brittany grabbed the back of her thighs and lifted her up, placing her on the sink. Santana moaned when she dragged out her bottom lip and sucked on it. Before they could go any further, they heard a knock on the door. They pulled apart with a groan.

"Are you guys ready? Mercedes just texted me that Rachel is already drunk off her socks and I don't want to miss good bathroom drawing opportunity," Quinn yelled from the other side of the door. Santana huffed and Brittany laughed.

"Oh well, I guess we're going to have to just sneak in make outs tonight," she said casually, fixing her hair in the mirror. Santana smirked.

"Sneaky? That's hot," she said. Brittany nodded in agreement and placed her hand on the brunette's thighs again, rubbing soft circles on the inside of them. She leaned in close and Santana bit her lip in anticipation. Their lips almost touched before Brittany pulled away, Santana looked thoroughly frustrated. Brittany laughed at her face and smiled.

"Teasing you is going to be so fun tonight," She said with a grin. Santana raised an eyebrow and hopped off the sink. She sauntered over to Brittany and smirked, she slipped her hands under the blonde's shirt, softly tracing the outlines of her abs. She inwardly chuckled at the way the abs tightened and Brittany's breath hitched. She leaned in and whispered.

"Two can play at that game," She breathed, she kissed a path the blonde's neck, before licking it; she smiled into the kiss when Brittany groaned. "It's on," and with that she pulled away and walked out the door, not looking back at the very sexually frustrated blonde.

* * *

Santana walked into the basement of the Berry house hold, where the Rachel Berry Train wreck Extravaganza was currently taking place. She winced when Rachel sprinted up to her, clearly drunk, and screamed.

"THE UNHOLY TRINITY IS HERE, AT MY PARTY!" She yelled. Santana scowled at her, while Brittany smiled uneasily, and Quinn only laughed before walking off to find Sam.

"Move Berry, my girl Britts wants to get her drank on," she said, grabbing Brittany's hand and pulling her past Rachel. Brittany's stomach fluttered at the way Santana called her 'my girl'. They walked over to the table where all the drinks were held, not noticing the eyes watching them. They watched Santana pull Brittany towards the table and pour a drink, handing it to the blonde and smiling.

"When did that happen?" Kurt asked loudly, Mercedes only shrugged, looking at Artie who was eyeing them with a slight jealousy. Everyone knew about the break up, Artie told Mike, who told Tina, and well, the rest is history. Brittany caught his eye and smiled timidly, which he returned, though jealousy was still etched across his face.

"LETS GET THIS BITCH STARTED" Rachel bellowed, walking over to the stereo, turning up the volume and pulling Finn to dance. He swayed left and right awkwardly, while Rachel danced erratically around him. Santana watched them in horror.

"That dancing should be illegal in fifty states," she said, shaking her head. Brittany laughed before downing her drink, motioning to Santana to do the same. And like the totally whipped bitch she was, she did it without question.

"Then lets show them how it's done," Brittany said, with a glint in her eye. Santana raised her eyebrow challengingly and let herself get pulled to the dance floor. Mike was already dancing as well, while Tina was laughing hysterically at nothing with Mercedes. Mike whooped when Brittany began dancing around Santana, who tried her best to not show how hot it made her. Brittany grabbed her hands and pulled their bodies closer, all the entire party melted away. Santana grinded into Brittany and loved the way their bodies moved fluidly together, teasing was definitely their strong suit. They were broken out of their trance when they yet again heard the screaming of Rachel.

"NO! What are you guys doing?! You can't dance when I'm dancing, you can't one up me," Rachel yelled, flailing her arms around. Santana rolled her eyes, and opened her mouth to say something when Brittany cut in.

"One up you? We could do that in our sleep," Brittany said, Rachel gasped in offence, before chugging the rest of her drink and throwing the cup behind her.

"Oh no you didn't," she said, Santana wondered if she was a ghetto drunk," I demand a dance battle, right here right now." She stomped her foot to emphasise the point. The glee club hollered in approval. Finn looked scared.

"Uh, Rach, I don't think that's a good idea," Finn said, Rachel only waved him off and told Kurt to change the song. He got up and rushed over to the stereo, scrolling through the songs before putting the perfect one on.

"NO, I want to dance battle to the death, half a song each! You bitches are up first," Rachel said, burping after. Santana laughed out loud. _This bitch doesn't know what's about to hit her, we practice dancing to this song all the time, god is real._ It was true, a few weeks ago; Santana helped Brittany prep for a dance class by learning the routine to this song with her. Brittany leaned in a whispered in her ear,

"Do you remember the routine?" she asked. Santana nodded, as if to say _duh_ , but wondered when she agreed to participate in the dance battle.

"You sure you can handle it?" Santana smirked. Brittany rolled her eyes. The entire glee club was gathered in a circle around them, watching in anticipation. Brittany told Kurt to restart the song, she took Santana's hand, and they started to dance.

 _Take it off, I wanna love you_ _  
And everybody, wanna touch you  
You moving right, wanna see what's up under  
_ _You back it up, beep beep like a trucker_

Brittany and Santana moved fluidly with each other. They danced in sync. Santana put her hand on the blonde's shoulder, walking around her before dropping down in front of her, bobbing up and down a few times. The room cheered, and Santana winked at Brittany.

 _Nice thighs, nice waist  
_ _And you know I can't forget about your face_ _  
_ _But don't none of that matter  
I'm about to make your pockets fatter_

Still in the crouched position, Santana slowly moved up the blonde's body, placing her hand on Brittany's thighs and waist in sync with the song. Then she stood up fully and brushed the blonde's face with her hand, and smiled when Brittany blushed. Brittany then pushed her away and they turned to face each other.

 _Girl I just wanna see you strip right now cause it's late babe  
Girl I just wanna see you strip  
_ _Girl take your time with it_ _  
Girl I just wanna see you strip_

Brittany spread her legs and rolled her body; while Santana grabbed at the jacket Brittany was wearing and slowly slid it off her body. She pretended to (but actually did) kiss her neck. The entire club screamed, while Rachel's mouth dropped in shock. Brittany felt her neck ignite from the lips of her friend. She tried not to moan loudly at the sensation and kept her focus on dancing, _fucking Santana and her neck kisses_. Santana lifted her mouth to Brittany's ear and smirked against it, feeling the heat radiating off the neck.

"Keep it in your pants, Pierce," she said smugly, before she moved her head away. Brittany felt the heat rush through her body right down to her lady bits.

"I think I might be pregnant from watching that," Kurt said loudly.

 _God damn you sexy, for me  
God damn you sexy, baby  
God damn you sexy_ _  
_ _Girl, I just wanna see you_

Brittany threw her jacket away and danced seductively around Santana, who was trying desperately to not jump her right there and then. She tensed when she felt Brittany push her front flush against Santana's back side. She trailed her hands down the Latina's side and relished in the way the muscles twitched under her touch. _Who needs to keep it in their pants now?_ Brittany looked up at Rachel's flabbergasted face and Finn's slightly guilty face, _he's totally enjoying this,_ she thought. Kurt got up and stopped the music.

"That's half a song!" He yelled happily. The room erupted in cheers, Brittany stopped dancing and grinned. She looked at Rachel who was eying them with anger.

"That's no fair! You're a dancer!" Rachel said upset pointing her finger at Brittany. Santana's defensive mode kicked in at the sight of Rachel pointing and she scoffed.

"Um, you challenged _us_ to a dance Berry, and we brought the house down, don't be mad because Britt Britt here can bust some mad moves that you couldn't do even if you wished on a magical fairy, Kurt for instance." Santana said, motioning her hand an offended looking Kurt. Rachel glared at her before bursting out into laughter

"You are so funny when you are angry, like an angry cat, a kitty cat cat kitty. I don't want to dance anymore! LET'S DO BODY SHOTS!" She screamed, "Winners go first!" Before any of them could protest, Rachel grabbed them by the hand and led them to the nearest table.

"Did someone say body shots!?" Santana heard Puck shout. She hadn't realised he was here, "as much as I want to see that, I need to have a word with Santana here." She looked at him quizzically and he looked at her pointedly. He motioned for her to go upstairs and left. She suspected it had something to do with her coming to the party with Brittany, someone she was supposed to be in a big fight with. She realised no one besides Quinn knew that they have resolved their issues. Brittany looked at her and she smiled apologetically.

"Be right back, Britt," Santana said quickly, before following him upstairs. Puck was tapping his foot impatiently against the hardwood floors of Rachel's bedroom; he stood up straight when he heard Santana enter the room.

"Hey there Lezpez," Santana glared at him, "care to tell your lesbro why he doesn't know you and Brittany have become all buddy buddy again?" Santana rolled her eyes, his tone was sarcastic but his voice gave away a slight hurt.

"Are you upset I didn't tell you?" She asked. Puck looked down and shrugged.

"I don't know, I guess it would've been nice to know what was going on in your life, we've become pretty good friends lately and I don't know," he sighed," I guess I thought you'd tell me when something big happened." Santana smiled sympathetically.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I didn't even tell Quinn either. Yesterday, Brittany came over to talk to me about you know, everything." He nodded, "and we had this big talk and I told her again I love her," His eyes widened, but he didn't speak so she continued, "then I told her to take some time to think and then like three hours later she comes back and we talk some more and she kisses me,"

"Nice," Puck interrupted. Santana nodded in agreement.

"Yeah shut up, anyway she told me she broke up with Artie and we spent the rest of the night just hanging out," she ended. Puck looked at her sceptically.

"Is that all?" He asked. Santana looked at him confused.

"Yes…?" Puck frowned.

"So you guys had a talk and everything is all good now? That seems a little weird," Puck said. Santana thought about this for a second before scrunching her nose.

"I guess it was a little fast, you know, everything that happened. But it's always been like that with us, we aren't regular people. Our relationship isn't like the rest of the glee club, you know, date, cheat, break up. We're tied together. Kind of like a special bond," she smiled slightly, "and even though sometimes we forget that bond is there, it only takes us a few minutes to remember what we have," Santana said. Puck nodded thoughtfully.

"Even though it still sounds a little weird, I'm just concerned about you. You were in a pretty bad place before this," Santana cringed," I just don't want you to fall back into that rut you were in." He said honestly. She smiled at him.

"Thanks Puck, that means a lot. And I promise you, whenever something big happens, you'll be the first person I call." She said, he grinned at her.

"Thanks, lezpez," Santana punched him in the shoulder.

"Ow, okay sorry, let's go down to the party, I'm sure everyone thinks we're hooking up." He joked. Santana scrunched her face.

"You're right, gross. I'd much rather be getting it on with Britt," Puck mocked offence and she rolled her eyes. They walked down stairs and instantly her eyes found Brittany. She frowned a little when she saw her talking to Artie. They were laughing and she rested her hand on his shoulder. Santana felt jealously claw at her and she felt her face transform into the famous Lopez glare. Brittany looked up and saw Santana staring at them, with a slightly angry expression. She wondered if Puck had said something to anger her.

"Oh, Santana's back. Thanks for keeping me company Artie, it's really nice to be able to still talk to you," Artie only smiled at her and nodded.

"It's okay, I'm glad we're still friends," he said, it was evident that he was still hurt about their break up, though he masked it well. Santana looked away when she saw Brittany smile at Artie. Brittany walked up to Santana and smiled.

"Hey San, everything alright? You look kind of angry," she said. Santana looked away and felt jealousy pour into her veins again.

"Everything's fine, you should go back to Artie, you look like you're having a lot of fun," she said childishly. She knew she was being unreasonable, but she couldn't stop the words from coming out. Brittany frowned at her, but her mouth turned into a slight smirk.

"Do I detect…" she trailed off, before cocking her head," jealously?" Santana rolled her eyes.

"I'm not jealous," she said quickly. Brittany nodded unconvinced.

"Uh huh, so why the sour face?" She teased. Santana pouted like a child.

"I don't have a sour face. Just go back to talking to stubbles," she said, waving her hand. Brittany shook her head.

"If you say so…" She said, smiling as she turned away. She laughed when she felt a hand grab her and pull her back.

"No! Don't go! We still have to, uh," Santana tried to think of an excuse," body shots! We have to do a body shot, remember?" Brittany laughed at her friend and nodded. She led them to a table and yelled out.

"Someone set me up!" Santana said to the crowd. Rachel scurried over with the drink, and Kurt came over with the lime.

Santana smirked sexily as she laid Brittany down and winked at her. She felt her body ignite when Brittany seductively pulled her shirt up, revealing her incredibly toned stomach. _Fucking dancers._ Brittany smiled up innocently at her; Santana rolled her eyes and grabbed the salt shaker. She could faintly hear Rachel screaming, all she could focus on was the stomach in front of her. She was going to drag this out as long as possible, it was perfect teasing opportunity. Santana poured a trail of salt across the vertical line of Brittany's abs. She poured her shot and winked at Brittany, who was watching her with darkened eyes. Santana felt her stomach flip under the gaze and she bent down. Her tongue darted out of her mouth and she slowly licked the salt trail, determined to get every last grain.

"This is so hot!" Santana heard Rachel scream. She didn't care though, all she could think about was the way Brittany's muscles twitched under the inspection of her tongue. She licked the salt until nothing remained, relishing in the taste of Brittany's skin. Santana looked up and bit her lip, she noticed the way the blonde's fists were clenched, clearly equally as turned on as Santana was. _Mission accomplished._ Santana threw back her shot and leaned up towards Brittany's mouth. She bent down and saw the pure lust etched in the blue eyes. She kept the eye contact as she took the barely protruding lime from the blonde's mouth. Their lips touched as she bit it and sucked the juice. The crowd, mostly Rachel and Kurt, screamed. Santana pulled away and smiled sweetly. Brittany sat up and spat the lime from her mouth.

"That was so unfair," she whispered to Santana. The brunette only smiled smugly and shrugged her shoulders.

"Told you, two can play at this game," she winked as she got up to go get another drink. She mixed a drink and filled two cups, one for Brittany and one for herself. She turned around to go back to the blonde when she stopped in her tracks. She almost dropped the cups when she saw Artie hand a beer bottle to Brittany. Santana gripped the drinks with both her hands and glared.

"Why you be death staring Britt and Artie?" She heard a voice say beside her. She turned to look at a slightly tipsy Quinn.

"I'm not," Santana said defensively. Quinn rolled her eyes and pointed a sloppy finger.

"Yo-you are a fuckin' liar. You needs ta chill, Britt doesn't like him anymore, she's totes got the hots for you," Quinn slurred. Santana rolled her eyes at her friends' lack of communication skills.

"You're drunk; you don't know what you're talking about." Quinn's eyes lit up and she nodded.

"Yes! I am drunk, you should be too bitch. Dis be a party, don't be a lame loser," she shouted as she twirled away. Santana wondered if she was dreaming, there was no way Quinn was this loose. Santana decided to take her advice and down the two cups she was holding. The cool alcohol slid down her throat and she almost choked from the strength, _oh god, too much vodka._ She shook her head and walked over to Puck, who was lining up shots.

"Hey San, you wanna do some shots?" He asked. She nodded without saying anything and took the first one down quickly. She cringed at the foul tasting liquor but didn't stop. She heard Puck cheering her on as she took more shots. Santana giggled along with him and struggled to keep her balance. She was already slightly drunk.

"Whoa, maybe you should slow down." Puck said, holding her arm. She shook him off and glared.

"I ain't no bitch ass light weight," she said in her most ghetto tone. She heard a laugh behind her and turned to see blue eyes looking at her. Santana averted her eyes and put on her best angry face.

"Why are you so grumpy," Brittany teased, pinching her face. Santana scowled and swatted her hand away. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"I'm not grumpy," she said in a flat voice. Brittany only raised an eyebrow at her.

"I don't want to party with a grumpy bum, I'm going to dance." Santana looked past her at the dancing crowd and spotted Artie waving his hands around. She felt jealousy surge through her and her reflexes kicked in.

"NO! You're coming with me." She hissed, grabbing the blonde's arm and pulling her through the basement. She dragged her upstairs and into the first room she saw, which happened to be a broom closet.

"What ar-"before Brittany finished the sentence, she felt Santana crash their lips together in a very passionate kiss. Brittany was caught off guard but it wasn't exactly unwelcomed so she kissed back. Their lips slid against each other and Santana pushed her up against the door, deepening the kiss. They broke for air and Brittany groaned when she felt Santana move her lips to her neck, kissing, sucking and biting the skin there.

"Ugh, you're so hot," Santana mumbled against her neck.

Brittany tangled her fingers in the brown locks and pulled Santana's head closer to her. She moaned when she felt her suck on her pulse point, hard. The closet air was heating up and all she could hear was her own pants and moans as well as kissing noises as Santana attacked her neck. She moved her lips back to Brittany's and that initiated another deep kiss. Santana gripped the back of Brittany's thighs and edged her up; the blonde took the hint and lifted herself up, wrapping her legs around the brunette's waist. Santana pushed her hands into Brittany's shirt and ran them over the muscle there. She moved her kisses back to her neck, her collarbone and then her chest. Then all of a sudden Santana stopped kissing and sniffled. Brittany looked down at her in confusion and realised her chest was damp, and not from sweat.

"Santana? Are you okay? What happened?" She asked. Santana sniffled some more.

"N-Nothing," she said in a tear filled voice. Brittany un-wrapped her legs from around the brunette's waist and fumbled around for the light switch. She found it and flicked it on, the room was illuminated and Brittany saw Santana looking at her with tear stained cheeks. She cupped her face and wiped away the tears with the pads of her fingers.

"Honey, what's wrong?" She cooed. Santana then burst into tears.

"Yo-You're so perfect and beautiful and a sex goddess. And we were just making out and it was hot and then I had to start crying because I'm dr-runk! I got drunk because you were talking to Artie and he gave you a beer bottle but you're mine so I'm supposed to give you a beer bottle, you know?!" she wailed, Brittany was trying her best to keep up with what Santana was crying about, "and I got super j-jealous and then I got super d-drunk _because_ I'm jealous but that doesn't make sense because we aren't official! And you broke up with Artie like a day ago and we're already making out and what if you go back to him?" Santana cried. Brittany shook her head and laughed a little; Santana saw this and sobbed even more.

"W-Why are you laughing?! You're not su-supposed to laugh when people cry, das rude," she cried. Brittany rolled her eyes and took Santana's hands in hers; stilling her and making her look the blonde in the eyes.

"I'm laughing because you are so crazy," Santana's mouth dropped open in offence," crazy about me. I promise you, I'm not going back to Artie, why would I when we both know we love each other? You're so silly, just because I was talking to him doesn't mean I'm going to suck his dick a second later, I'm just trying to be friends with him, there's no need for you to get jealous baby," Brittany cooed. Santana sniffled.

"So you don't like him anymore?" She asked hesitantly, it reminded Brittany of a child, _so cute_ ,

"No, I like you, remember?" Brittany teased, wiping away the tears. Santana nodded her head and cracked a smile.

"You called me baby," she said. Brittany smiled and pulled her into a hug.

"Yes I did, baby," Santana grinned against Brittany's shoulder and sighed.

"I'm sorry I was so jealous, I just didn't like seeing my girlfriend hang out with her ex, even if it was for a little bit. I'm so crazy," Santana mumbled. Brittany stilled, a smile growing on her face. "Let's go, I don't want to be in a closet after I just got out of one, oh my god that was so good. I need to tell Quinn that joke!" And with that she ripped open the closet door and raced to find the hazel eyed blonde in order to relay the joke. Brittany didn't follow though, she stood still in the closet, her eyes twinkling and her smile growing bigger by the second.

 _She called me her girlfriend._

* * *

Santana groaned when she woke up to sunlight hitting her in the face. She pried open her eyes and instantly shut them when she felt her raging headache split through her skull at the movement. She swallowed thickly and cringed at the cotton mouth she had. After leaving the closet, she had gone to find Quinn and tell her the closet joke. In Quinn's opinion, the joke was "fucking bitchin." They then proceeded to drink and the rest of the night… Santana couldn't remember. She waited until her headache died down and opened her eyes again, adjusting to the light. She lifted her upper body up and stretched her limbs. She looked over at her clock and saw it read 10:23 AM. _Oh god, too early,_ she closed her eyes and fell back limply on the bed, her eyes snapped open when her back side hit something that was definitely not her bed. Then she heard it speak.

"Ow," Santana whipped her head around to find Brittany staring back at her, "good morning, why did you slam back into me." Brittany yawned. Santana smiled back at her sheepishly.

"Good morning, I forgot you were here, I forgot most of the night actually." Santana said. Brittany frowned, _did she forget calling me her girlfriend._

"Oh, what do you remember?" Brittany asked slowly. Santana thought about this, before blushing.

"I remember dragging you into a closet and making out with you, and then I started crying and went all emotional drunk. Then I made a really funny joke and ran to find Quinn, that's all I remember." Santana said thoughtfully. Brittany deflated.

"Do you remember what you said before you left to find Quinn?" Santana thought more about this and nodded.

"Yeah, I said I was sorry I got so jealous because I didn't like seeing my girlfr-"Santana slapped her hand over her mouth.

"Oh my god, I called you my girlfriend." She whispered. _OH my god that was so not how I was going to ask!_ Brittany grinned and nodded.

"Mhmm," she hummed. Santana put her head in her hands out of embarrassment, missing the way Brittany was smiling.

"I am so sorry, I don't know why I called you that. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions and I was drunk and I'm sorry if I made it weird between us because we never really specified what we were and-"she mumbled into her hands before Brittany cut her off.

"Do you see me protesting?" She asked. Santana looked up and saw the blonde smiling.

"You're… Okay with it?" She said. Brittany rolled her eyes.

"Of course I am," she said, Santana bit her lip to stop her face splitting in half with a smile, "so does this mean we're officially dating?" Santana frowned and shook her head, and Brittany looked at her in confusion and slight hurt.

"Nope, you can't be my girlfriend," Santana said, Brittany looked away, masking her hurt.

"Oh, yeah I get it, you don't want people to know and stuff…" Santana rolled her eyes and laughed.

"No, silly, you can't be my girlfriend and we can't be dating if I've never taken you out on a date, so come on get dressed! We are going on date, soon to be girlfriend." Brittany clapped her hands and watched Santana get out of bed, before slamming her hand down on the bed side table for support because she had forgotten about her hang over.

"Okay, soon to be girlfriend."

* * *

 _A/N **i still ship it very hard this hurts and oh my god when u listen to a big sean song and u dig it but then you really listen to the lyrics and you realise how much shade he's throwing at naya like why you gotta be like that? Song used was Strip- Chris brown. Leave a review if you dig this chapter or even if you didnt okay ill see you pingus next week or even before that because just like glee, i'm terrible at continuity lol okay laterz skaterz**_


	18. Chapter 18

_A/N **hola! This is date chapter, that's all i'm going to say :)) Thank you to everyone who reviewed/fav/followed and if you haven't already, you should check out my new fic Love Bug! enjoy dis home skillets**_

* * *

 _"Okay, soon to be girlfriend,"_

Santana repeated the words in her mind as she sprinted downstairs, ignoring the thudding in her head. She raced towards the kitchen and ripped open the cabinet doors. She took note of everything inside the cupboards and then raced off to the broom closet. She dug around until she found what she needed and grinned triumphantly. Upstairs, she could hear the shower running and knew Brittany was inside, and though she wanted to join her, she needed to get everything ready for the best first date ever. At least, that's what she hoped it would be.

She sent a quick text to her parents telling them she'll be home very late at night, and sent one to Brittany's mother saying that her daughter most likely won't be home tonight. She wasn't sure if Susan knew that they were friends again, but she had no time to dwell on that thought when she realised she was wasting time. She grabbed everything she needed, which turned out to be a lot more than she thought, and piled them in the living room. Just as she put down the last item, she heard Brittany's footsteps coming down.

Santana turned her head to look at Brittany, and grinned.

"Hello," Santana said, Brittany returned the greeting with a happy smile, "you should get home, you need to change for our first date." Brittany blushed at the mention of their date and sighed.

"I don't want to go home though," Brittany pouted. Santana laughed and moved closer, raising her eye brow.

"But if you don't go and change, then we can't go on a date," Santana said. Brittany rolled her eyes, before throwing her hands up in defeat.

"Fine" she sighs over dramatically. Santana laughed and they locked lips for a few seconds, before Santana walked Brittany out the door, giving her another quick kiss on the cheek and reminding her that they were going to see each soon.

"I'll pick you up at 5 okay? Wearing something warm." She said, observing the slight chill in the air that she was certain would get worse; it was the time of the year where the days would get shorter. Brittany nodded happily and gave a shy wave, before practically sprinting down the street in order to get home and get ready. Santana laughed at the sight before walking back into her house, closed the door, and leaned her back against it. She looked around at her house, catching sight of the living room and all the items piled on it. Santana looked at the clock and saw it read 11:47 am. Her eyes widened as she realised how much she had to set up in the span of six hours.

"Shit!" She huffed, scrambling towards the living room and throwing herself into preparing the best date ever. She pulled out her phone and sent a quick text to Puck, telling him that she needed him urgently.

* * *

Santana and Puck looked around the room and smiled satisfied with their work.

"This place looks awesome," Puck said, patting Santana on the back. She nodded breathlessly and sighed.

"Thank you for everything, though I'm not sure where you go so many projectors from," Santana said. Puck shrugged.

"McKinley's AV room has terrible locks," Santana laughed and looked around again.

"You think she'll like it?" Santana asked nervously. Puck scoffed.

"Even I'm swooning right now, and this isn't even for me. Trust me, she'll love it." Puck said, patting her again on the back. Santana checked the time and huffed, it was now 3:23 pm, which meant she had to get ready soon. They cleaned up any supplies they didn't need and Santana walked Puck out the door, thanking him again for all his help.

She sent another text to her parents telling them to stay out of the backyard when they get home, so they don't disrupt the date. It was late in the year now, nearing November, and Santana knew how much Brittany loved snow, she wondered if she would love this surprise more. She would wait for the snow for ages, calling Santana the second she saw one snow flake pass her. Her mouth tugged up into a small smile as she thought about how lucky she was to finally have a chance with Brittany. She had made a pact to tell Brittany just how lucky she felt to be with her.

She took one last look at her surrounds before nodding resolutely; she exhaled deeply and felt excitement bubble through her. _Tonight is going to be perfect,_ she thought. She walked up to her bed room and walked into the bathroom. Turning on the shower, she washed away last night's drunken escapades, or rather failed _sex-capades_ , off of her. Her head still thudded lightly but she ignored it in favour of trying her best not to slip, her shower floor being oddly slippery. She could recall a time when she slipped and tried to grab onto the streaming water, it wasn't one of her proudest moments. She washed herself with the body wash that Brittany had once said she liked, and now that was all Santana used in the shower. She got out and dried her hair, as well as checking for any signs of imperfection she missed on her body. She pulled on a robe and walked out to her bedroom, heading for the closet.

She ruffled through her clothing, determined to make herself look like a goddess. She pulled out her outfit and set it down, it was neat and casual, warm enough for the location and definitely made her look good. She grinned winked at herself in the mirror, before frowning, because she just _winked at herself in the mirror_. Shaking off her embarrassment, she pulled on her outfit and assed herself in the mirror. She was wearing a black knitted sweater, dark blue jeans, and a long, dark navy coat that ended near the middle of her thigh. She walked over to her wardrobe and pulled out a long white scarf, draping it over her neck and adjusting it so it so both ends flowed by her side evenly. She pulled out her plain white sneakers and smiled, happy with how she looked.

She put on a watch and checked the time, it was only 4:12, and the time seemed to be moving ever so slowly. She hoped that Brittany would love what she had in store for her.

* * *

As soon as the hands on her watch hit 5, Santana was out of the door and sprinting to her car. She thanked her past self for washing the car earlier that week, now her car looked fancier than it really was. She slammed the door shut and shoved the keys into the ignition in record time. The car roared to life and she backed out her drive way, her mouth pulling up into a smile subconsciously out of excitement.

Brittany was sitting on her couch, leg bouncing in anticipation. Santana hadn't told her where they were going, _typical, always mysterious,_ but Brittany didn't have a doubt in her mind that it would bad. She heard the tell-tale signs of a car pulling up to street and she felt her excitement sky rocket. She raced over to the door and reached out for the handle, not caring that she might have looked overly eager. Santana was walking up the path to the door when the door swinged open, and she felt her mouth split into a smile when she caught sight of the familiar blonde staring at her with the brightest face. Santana felt the air leave her lungs when she looked over at what Brittany was wearing.

Santana's eyes trailed over the blonde's body, she was wearing a black top, dark blue skinny jeans, a slightly thick beige coat over the top as well as a pair of laced up beige boots that ended at her ankles. Her hair was flowing around her shoulders and her face was slightly pink from the cold. Her outfit barely showed skin and Santana still thought she was the most perfect thing in the entire world. She didn't know what to say, all the words were failing her, but she wasn't the only one.

Brittany took in Santana's appearance, her small body bundled up under the scarf and navy jacket. _She looks so beautiful, cute, perfect…_ Brittany thought, her mind listing off adjectives. The sky was darker now; it was blanketed by a sheet of grey that had a strong blue tinged to it, illuminating their surroundings and making it seem a darkish blue. Though even in the darkening sky and the coldness that was slicing through the air, both girls couldn't help but think that they were looking into the brightest, warmest eyes imaginable.

Santana regained the use of her legs and walked up closer, her heart fluttering at the way Brittany's eyes seemed to shine a bright blue, contrasting against the darkening around them. Her nose was tinted a slightly pink, and Santana wanted to hold her in her arms until the pink disappeared.

"You… Look beautiful," Santana breathed. Brittany blushed, and bit her lip.

"You even more," Brittany said honestly. Santana blushed this time and shook her head, looking at Brittany with such love that the blonde could've sworn she fell in love all over again. Santana held out her arm with a grin, and Brittany accepted it graciously.

"Where are we going?" Brittany asked, even though she knew her attempt to find out would be fruitless. Santana only shook her head and laughed.

"You know I'm not telling you," Santana said," but if it helps, I have two things in store." Brittany groaned.

"That so doesn't help," Santana only rolled her eyes playfully before opening the door for the blonde, who curtsied very elegantly. Santana shut the door and made her way over to the driver seat with a smile that never faltered.

* * *

Santana was watching the road, and Brittany was watching her. Brittany watched the way her brow furrowed slightly when she passed each street, reading the name and figuring out where she had to go. Brittany watched the way her eyes would drift to meet blue ones, and a smile would grace the plump lips before she looked away. Mostly, Brittany just watched the way Santana seemed so content with her life, sitting in the car, driving the girl she loved to a date that she would love. The car ride was a comfortable silence, it was nearing night time now, and they had been driving for more than fifteen minutes. The houses declined and there was more trees than cars. Santana pulled into a car park that Brittany missed because she was busy staring at the Latina. Santana turned to the blonde and gave her a wide smile.

"Ready for date spot number 1?" Santana said, wiggling her eyebrow. Brittany grinned at her and nodded.

"I'm as ready as I could ever be," Santana got out of the car and raced over to Brittany's side, opening the door for her.

"Thank you mam, my bags are in the back. Just call Gerald to bring them in," Brittany said, in a surprisingly good British accent. Santana laughed and scrunched her nose.

"That was weird," Brittany looked at her in mock offence.

"You mean hella awesome," Santana rolled her eyes and held out her arm for Brittany again. The blonde linked their arms and she put her hand in Santana's pocket, her heart fluttering when Santana put her hand over hers, lacing their fingers together. The weather had dropped a few degrees and now each breath they took blew out a puff of vapour. Brittany looked at her surroundings, they were surrounded partly by trees, but in the distance, Brittany could see the twinkling of what looked like fairy lights. What they were illuminating was too hard for Brittany to make out, but when they got closer, she gasped. Santana smiled and turned to her.

"Surprise!" She said, gesturing her free hand to the considerably large ice rink. Brittany looked at all the twinkling lights that reflected against the smooth, pale white ice that was in front of them. "This place is pretty cool; my parents use to take me as a kid. And I know how much you love anything related to snow or ice, so I thought this would be pretty cool. Now you don't have to wait until December to go skating." Brittany squealed in delight.

"I love it!" She said, before dragging Santana towards the paying booth with enthusiasm. Santana laughed and followed after her. They approached a man in his mid-thirties; he looked surprised to see them. Nevertheless he gave them two pair of ice skating boots, (which Santana paid for when Brittany was distracted by a bird screaming), and wished them good time in a well-rehearsed voice.

They laced up their boots and waddled together towards the rink. Santana held onto the side rail and laughed nervously.

"I haven't done this in ages," she said. Brittany raised an eyebrow at her when she let go of the rail before yelping and grabbing back onto it, "whoa, slippery floor." Brittany laughed.

"It's ice, Santana," she deadpanned. The brunette rolled her eyes and watched in disbelief as Brittany skated off flawlessly.

"That is such bullshit," she muttered under her breath. Brittany did a lap before skating back up to Santana, who was still holding onto the rail for dear life.

"C'mon San, you can't hold the rail the entire night, you're supposed to be holding me," Brittany pouted. Santana looked between her hands on the rail and Brittany. She swallowed thickly before slowly letting go of the metal, though she instantly latched onto Brittany, who laughed.

"I thought you use to come here all the time with your parents," she teased. Santana scrunched her face in concentration.

"I did!" She said defensively, before her tone changed to a more unconvincing one, "I just need to practice, get back into the flow," Brittany grabbed the hand that had a death grip on her shoulder and slowly pulled it off. She linked their arms together again and smiled.

"Well, now if you fall, I'll fall with you," she said happily. Santana grinned at her and shook her head.

" _This_ is the type of support I need in an almost relationship," she said dramatically, Brittany giggled and her face lit up.

"Almost relationship," she repeated. Santana winked at her and they started moving.

"Jesus fuck no," Santana yelped when her foot when over a particularly slippery part. Brittany gripped her arm to hold her steady. This went on for a few minutes, before Santana got back into the feel of ice skating.

"Told you all I needed was a few minutes," Santana said as she unlinked her arm with Brittany. The blonde smiled but missed the feeling of their bodies pressed side by side. It seemed like Santana could read her mind, because she linked their hands together and they skated more freely, still side by side. They skated to the centre of the rink and Santana moved in front of Brittany, holding both her hands in hers.

Brittany admired the fairy lights, contrasting the dark sky and the trees around them. Santana admired Brittany. Watching the way her eyes twinkled in awe at the beauty around them, Santana felt her eyes twinkle with awe at the beauty in front of her. Everything that happened, all the heartbreak that each of them had suffered at the hands of each other, all of it didn't matter. All of it led to that very moment, with Santana holding Brittany's hands in her own, in the centre of a deserted ice skating ring on the outskirts of town, on their first date. She looked up at the sky and saw the cloudless night, watching the stars shine brightly. That was the first time since the fight that Santana thought that they might have actually been written in the stars. She smiled slightly before looking back at Brittany. _She's so…_

"Beautiful," Santana breathed, acknowledging her thoughts out loud. Brittany's eyes flickered down to Santana and she blushed.

"You are too, the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," she said honestly, Santana smiled sheepishly but didn't look away. "This was really nice, I'm really happy you brought me here." Santana heard the sincerity in her voice and grins.

"Well, the dates not over yet, I still have one more surprise," Santana said, waggling her eyebrow. Brittany's cheeks bunch up from an excited smile. The air was getting colder and colder, and despite Brittany wearing a coat over her clothes, the wind went down her neck and she shivered.

"Are you cold?" Santana asked, her tone laced with slight concern. Brittany nods and shivers again.

"Just my neck, the air is going down it," she said. Santana smiles at her and let's go of Brittany's hands, reaching up towards her own neck and pulling off the white scarf. Before Brittany could protest, Santana draped it around the blonde's neck and smiled. She caught the blonde off guard and she pulls at the ends of the scarf, effectively pulling Brittany towards her. Brittany was shocked for a second but that faded when she felt Santana's lips against her own. They kissed for a few seconds before Santana pulled away, smiling goofily.

"There, not cold anymore," she said. Brittany looked at her with eyes that practically screamed love.

"How are you so perfect?" She said. Santana smiled and shrugged with fake cockiness.

"'Cause you're with me,"

* * *

Santana pulled her car up to her house and turned to Brittany.

"Are you ready for surprise number 2?" She asked, Brittany looked at her and nodded enthusiastically.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Santana smiled and got out of the car, opening Brittany's door for her too. Instead of walking to the front door, she brought them around to the side gate that lead to the pool. Brittany followed in slight confusion when they walked into the back yard. It didn't look any different; there was still the pool, the barbeque, and the pool house. Nothing looked like it changed. Santana walked them to the door of the pool house, which her dad had renovated recently to become something like a living quarter. She stopped in front of the door and turned to Brittany.

"Close your eyes." Santana said softly. Brittany, who was eager to see what, was on the other side of the door, readily complied. Santana checked to see her eyes were really closed and took a deep breath; she turned the door knob and lead Brittany into the room.

"Okay, open your eyes." Brittany's eyes fluttered open and she gasped when she saw the room. Santana watched her nervously. All the air in Brittany's lungs left and she stood there, gaping at the room.

"Yo-you did this for me?" Brittany whispered. Santana smiled, happy that her surprise had turned out so good.

"Yeah, I did." Santana said. Brittany looked around the room slowly, determined to remember everything about that night.

The room was dark; barely any light was shown, except for the candles placed almost randomly around. In the middle of the room was a mattress, tastefully done up in a blanket and a mountain of pillows. Around the mattress were roses and rose petals. It wasn't the mattress, or the candles, or the rose petals that caught Brittany attention. No, it was the table that held five projectors that painted images on the walls, and one on the ceiling. The room was illuminated a dark pale blue, and the walls and ceiling held snowflakes falling down them in a constantly loop. The entire room looked like it was a winter wonderland.

"I know how much you like snow; you always get so excited about it, especially in November. Every November, you talk about how you can't wait until it's December, so you can see the snow again. Every year, I watch you get so excited, and every year I wait until it's December too. Not because I want it to snow, it's because I want to see you look happy, the type of happy that only comes when you see something you love. Kind of like how happy I get when I see you" Santana said, breaking the silence. Brittany turned to her and watched as Santana looked around for a second, before looking back to her, "you love the snow and… And I love you. So I brought the snow to you." Brittany felt her throat close up.

"I love you so god damn much," Brittany choked out. Santana smiled and pulled her into a tight hug.

"I love you too," she said, "come on, I set up one of the projects so we can watch a movie. I didn't know for sure what you wanted to watch, so I just pulled a bunch of random ones and we can watch them all." Brittany felt her heart explode and she nodded. She took a seat on the bed and watched Santana hold up the movies like a game show girl. They decided on Aladdin. Suddenly, Santana looked as if she remembered something important and excused herself hastily to go into the house, leaving Brittany alone in the pool house. She looked around the room and sighed. _This is so perfect._

Santana returned with a speaker. Brittany looked at her in confusion, and Santana breathed out nervously.

"Do you remember how when I sang that song in glee club, I told everyone I wrote it?" Santana asked. Brittany grimaced when she remembered the lyrics of the song but still nodded. "Well, that wasn't the only song I wrote. That song was the second one I wrote, but the first one, Mirrors, I wrote the night I realised I was in love with you." She picked up the speaker and set it down near the bed. She sat on the floor next to the bed and held out her hand for Brittany to take. The blonde took it and sat in front of her, so that she was on the bed but Santana wasn't.

"What are you doing?" Brittany asked. Santana bit her lip.

"The first song you heard from me was when I was heartbroken, but I'm not anymore. I want you to hear the song I wrote for you, about you, without the sadness." Santana said. She pressed play on the speaker and the music filled the room. Santana took a deep breath and started singing, holding Brittany's hand tightly.

 _Aren't you somethin' to admire  
Cause your shine is somethin' like a mirror  
And I can't help but notice  
You reflect in this heart of mine_

Santana's voice was melodic and Brittany felt her heart flutter.

 _If you ever feel alone and  
The glare makes me hard to find  
Just know that I'm always  
Parallel on the other side_

Santana stood up, bringing Brittany with her as pulled her into a slow dance, much like the one they shared in her room a few nights ago. Though this one was different, there wasn't any light fun, this one conveyed copious amounts of love and sincerity.

 _Cause I don't wanna lose you now_ _  
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me  
The vacancy that sat in my heart  
Is a space that now you hold_

She held their joined hands to her heart and looked at Brittany deep in the eyes. Santana brought her hand up to wipe the tears that Brittany didn't even notice were falling down her own cheeks.

 _Show me how to fight for now_ _  
_ _And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy  
Comin' back here to you once I figured it out  
You were right here all along_

They slowly around the room and Brittany savoured the moment.

 _It's like you're my mirror  
My mirror staring back at me  
I couldn't get any bigger_

Brittany laughed lightly when Santana spun her around and hugged her tightly from behind.

 _With anyone else beside me_ _  
_ _And now it's clear as this promise  
That we're making  
Two reflections into one_

She spun the blonde back around so they were facing each other again.

 _Cause it's like you're my mirror  
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me_

She led Brittany back to the bed and sat her down, sitting back in their original positions.

 _Aren't you somethin', an original_ _  
Cause it doesn't seem merely a sample  
And I can't help but stare, cause  
I see truth somewhere in your eyes_

Santana brought her hand up to caress the blondes cheek, and Brittany took Santana's hand and kissed it lightly. She mouthed the words _I love you,_ and Santana smiled in return.

 _I can't ever change without you  
You reflect me, I love that about you  
And if I could, I  
Would look at us all the time_

Santana thought back to who she used to be. Scared, denying that she could love another girl. Sleeping with any guy that would help her forget the blue eyes she'd always see when someone else was on top of her; forget the smooth skin that she'd imagine when her hands touched rough ones. Then she thought about who she was now, how far she'd come. She was singing a love song to the girl she had tried so hard to not be in love with, the girl who was, in all honesty, her mirror.

 _Yesterday is history  
Tomorrow's a mystery  
I can see you lookin' back at me  
Keep your eyes on me  
Baby, keep your eyes on me_

The music stopped and all that was left was the beat as Santana sang the hook again. The music started again and Santana harmonised with it. Brittany laughed a little when she heard Puck's voice in the music, singing back up.

 _You are, you are the love of my life_

Brittany felt tears run down her face again at the raw emotion that Santana invested into the song.

 _Baby, you're the inspiration of this precious song_ _  
And I just wanna see your face light up since you put me on  
_ _So now I say goodbye to the old me, it's already gone  
And I can't wait wait wait wait wait to get you home  
Just to let you know, you are_

Puck's voice entered again as he repeated the words "you are. You are the love of my life." Santana wiped the tears from Brittany's face and continued, swinging their hands lightly.

 _Girl you're my reflection, all I see is you  
My reflection, in everything I do  
You're my reflection and all I see is you  
My reflection, in everything I do_

The song faded out and the house plunged into silence, before it was broken by Brittany's sob. The blonde grabbed Santana and pulled her on top of her own body in a tight hug.

"I love you so much," Brittany sobbed. Santana felt her own tears run down her face and she hugged her back.

"I love you, too" she choked out. They laid there for a few minutes, before Santana broke the silence.

"Are you hungry? I have some pizza inside the house," Santana offered. Brittany nodded against her shoulder and lifted her head to meet Santana's eyes. The brunette grinned and raced off back into the house, coming back with a few boxes of pizza. She held out a piece on a plate to Brittany, who took it, but put it on the side of the bed. She grabbed Santana's arm and yanked her down. The brunette toppled onto the bed with an _ooft_. She made no complaints though, when Brittany pulled her on top of her own body and kissed her.

"That song was beautiful, you're so amazing and I'm so freaking lucky. I love you so fucking much." Brittany said. Santana smiled and kissed her again.

"I love you too, let's watch this movie. Then we can totally get it on," she winked. Brittany laughed and cuddled up to Santana, resting her head in between the space where the brunettes shoulder and neck met. Santana draped her arm around Brittany's waist and pulled her close, their legs tangled together underneath the blanket. They fit together perfectly. Santana changed the projector that was facing the ceiling, from playing snowflakes to playing the movie.

They made it fifteen minutes into the movie before Brittany started kissing Santana's neck, and the rest of the movie was drowned out by their heavy panting and moans. For the first time since they had started fooling around, Brittany and Santana made love.

* * *

Brittany trailed her fingers up and down Santana's backside as they tried to even out their breathing; doing a round five wasn't the best idea. Santana's head was resting on Brittany's chest as she traced aimless patterns onto the blonde stomach. Brittany sighed in content.

"Do you think we're always going to be like this?" Brittany asked. Santana moved her head to Brittany's neck, so she could see her.

"What do you mean?" Santana said, in confusion. Brittany looked at her and was silent for a few seconds.

"I don't know. We've always had this connection, and I've always loved you. I mean seriously, we're so awesomely in love." Santana laughed lightly, "and you've set up the most awesome date, you sang to me a song that you wrote yourself _for_ me. _Every single_ time I see you I fall in love again. Like today, watching you just drive or skate or even breathe just made me think about how lucky I am. Lucky to have you love me, and to have me love you. And even with everything that's happened, with all the troubles we've been through. I would do it all again, I would suffer through every single night of pain if it meant that we could be together at last. You mean everything to me, you're the only person I have loved with my entire heart and I just… I don't know, I just wonder if we'll always be in love." Santana didn't respond instantly, instead she leaned up and kissed the blonde softly.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" She asked. Brittany looked down at her with slight confusion, not thinking that was where the conversation was going. Still she smiled widely and nodded her head furiously.

"Of course I will!" she exclaimed. Santana grinned and kissed her again, before pulling away and smiling.

"Well then, as long as you're mine, and I'm yours, we'll always be in love."

* * *

 _A/N **heh, that was pretty cute you got to admit lmao. If you didn't notice, i used the idea of the snow on the walls from Gossip Girl cause that was a really cute scene and i think it fit them really well. Anyway did you like the date? The song finally appeared lmao but i have bad news, this fic is probably going to end in the next two chapters or so :((( I hope you guys enjoyed this one and if you did then leave a review! thank you so much for reading and sticking to this fic! i love you guys so much ! laterz skaterz**_

 _ **Song used was- Mirrors by Justin Timberlake**_


	19. Chapter 19

_A/N **HELLO! i am very sorry to say that this is** **the last chapter to the story :(( But don't be too sad, ive started a new fic called love bug so if you want to see more of Brittana then you should checkity check it out home skillets lmao anyway i'm also sorry this chapter is short but i wanted to end it without like making it unrealistic? Anyway, thank you so much for reading and reviewing and sticking with me even when i had that chapter 15 hiccup lmao but yeah i think this turned out pretty well and thank you for being so supportive of my first fic ever you guys are the best! I love you! Enjoy buttercakes :)))**_

* * *

 _ONE YEAR LATER_

The glee club sat in the seats of the choir room; it had been quite a week for them, especially for one member in particular. Santana sat in the seats, anxiously awaiting the entrance of Brittany. The glee club was buzzing with excitement, they had just found out the day before about Brittany and Santana.

* * *

 _FLASH BACK_

 _"_ _Okay guys, let's get started," Mr Schue said, clapping his hands together in a very Mr Shue way. Santana took a deep breath and looked around, she counted the people in the room and felt her stomach lurch, the entire club was here, and they would all hear what she had to say. Brittany's pinkie was locked with hers, and Santana wished more than anything that it was all their fingers locked together. Brittany was patient, never pushing Santana to be affectionate in public, and never getting mad at her when she got afraid. She would only tell Santana that she loved her and that they could be as in love as they wanted out of the public's eye, until she was ready. Santana didn't know how she could have possibly been so patient, but then again, it was Brittany they were talking about, and she was the very definition of a perfect human being._

 _Don't worry Britt, Santana thought; we'll be able to hold hands soon. Mr Schue went to write something on the board, but Santana cleared her throat and interrupted him._

 _"_ _Um, before you hit us with a lame assignment, I have something to say," Santana said. All eyes turned to her and Brittany looked at her quizzically. She almost backed out under their stare, and she felt her stomach flip and churn. Mr Schue looked almost afraid, as if he was wondering if Santana was about to rip him. He cleared his throat and shook his head a little._

 _"_ _Uh, yeah sure. Take it away." He said, gesturing to the floor in front of him. Santana took a deep breath and stood up, smiling at Brittany a little as she walked up next to Mr Schue. No one said anything for a few minutes, and Santana opened her mouth and closed it many times. It was only when she looked at Brittany, who was smiling at her happily, albeit confused, that she gained the courage to say something._

 _"_ _Okay, so you guys know more than anyone how terrible I am at expressing my thoughts, unless they are vicious ones." Santana said light heartedly, trying to quell the nerves in her stomach," but, I've been in this club for three years this year, and even though I pains me to say it, you guys are my family, and family members share everything with each other." Santana took a deep breath and smiled softly at Brittany, who was eagerly hanging onto every word she said, before addressing her. "Britt, you are the most patient person I have ever met, and I know it's frustrating for you when you have to hide a part of yourself. I know that it's hard to be around me in public when you can't do anything." The club looked at Brittany, and Mercedes enthusiastically turned to Kurt._

 _"_ _Is this going where I think it's going?" She whispered, Kurt held his hand over his heart and nodded._

 _"_ _Oh god, I hope so," he whispered back._

 _"_ _I don't want to scared anymore, I want everyone to know how much…" Santana looked around the room, and felt hands get sweaty and her stomach twist and turn with fear, but she over looked it, and settled her eyes on shining blue ones," how much, I love you. I know that the glee club isn't everyone, but I want to be able to kiss you and dance with you without caring what everyone else thinks, and I can do it in here." She said, walking closer to Brittany. She took her hands and smiled at her. "I promise you one day, that I'll kiss you in front of one hundred eyes, and I hope you know that I mean it."_

 _Brittany looked up at her with admiration. She wiped the tears from her eyes and shot up, engulfing Santana in a tight hug._

 _"_ _I'm so proud of you," she cried," I love you so much." Santana laughed a little and hugged back tighter._

 _"_ _I love you, too." The entire glee club looked on in shock, before Puck started cheering._

 _"_ _Hell fucking yeah!" He whooped. Santana broke the hug and looked at him incredulously. He only grinned at her and kept clapping, soon Quinn joined in and screamed 'Brittana!' Kurt and Mercedes started clapping too and so the choir room echoed with claps._

 _"_ _So, are you guys like, dating?" Tina asked timidly. Santana looked at Brittany and grinned before turning back to face the room._

 _"_ _Damn fucking straight, or rather damn fucking_ gay _," Santana joked._

* * *

Santana whipped her head up when she saw Brittany come into the room, she was the last one to come in and Santana had started to worry. Their eyes found each other and their smiles increased tenfold. Her eyes watched as Brittany waved to her, but walked towards the band group. Santana looked on in confusion as the blonde pulled what looked like sheet music out of her bag and handed it to the band. She then heard Mr Schue's voice address the class.

"Okay! So to start off today, we have a special performance from Brittany" Santana frowned in confusion, because Brittany hadn't mentioned anything about this when she stayed over the previous night. Brittany smiled at her shyly and cleared her throat.

"So, I heard this song on the radio a few days ago and I was going to show it to you," she said, looking at Santana," but then you made that beautiful speech in glee yesterday, and I wanted you to know how proud I am of you. I know it wasn't easy for you to do that and you are the bravest person I know, and I love you so much. So, I thought what better way to express my love for you than through a song? I mean we _are_ in glee club after all." Santana laughed softly. "Okay, well here goes." Brittany pulled a seat in and sat directly in front of Santana and gestured for the band to start playing. She grinned widely when the music started.

 _Boston never seemed to be  
So lovely in the fall to me  
Florida's not so cold  
But distance just gets old_

Brittany grabbed Santana's hands and started swinging them playfully.

 _Hey maybe we can stay  
Maybe we can lay like this forever_

Brittany pushed herself out of her chair and pulled Santana's hands, making both of them stand up.

 _Don't you know she is my favorite girl  
I want to run away for days with her  
And if you promise not to say a thing  
I'm gonna buy that girl a diamond ring_

Brittany playfully kissed her on the cheek and twirled her around. Sam got up and extended his hand out to Quinn, who took it graciously, and the followed Brittany's lead, dancing around her and Santana. Soon the entire glee club was dancing while Brittany was singing.

 _I said oooooh  
I think I love you  
Oooooh  
I think I love you ,I love you  
My favorite girl_

They nuzzled their noses together and Santana laughed. Brittany made a heart with her hand and danced around Santana waving the heart around.

 _It's funny how love takes you by surprise  
And I just didn't know what I was missing 'til you opened my eyes_

Brittany wrapped her arms around Santana from behind, singing into her ear as they swayed back and forth. The club was laughing and clapping, singing along.

 _Don't you know she is my favorite girl  
I want to run away for days with her  
And if you promise not to say a thing  
I'm gonna buy that girl a diamond ring_

Santana turned around and put her arms around Brittany's neck, slow dancing as the song started getting slower.

 _I said oooooh  
I think I love you  
Oooooh  
I think I love you I love you  
My favorite girl_

Brittany grinned when Santana placed a kiss on her cheek, making her blush. The music started fading out and Brittany held Santana still as she sung the last lines.

 _We're in love love love  
Love love love  
We're in love love love  
Love love_

The song stopped and the club started cheering. Santana's cheeks hurt from smiling and she pulled Brittany into a tight hug. Brittany was a little out of breath from singing and dancing at the same time, but she didn't really care about her lungs when Santana connected their lips in a sweet kiss. The club hollered and Brittany smiled into the kiss. They broke apart and Brittany smiled smugly.

"So, rate my song out of 10." She joked. Santana laughed and shook her head, looping her arms around Brittany's neck. She pretended to look like she was considering it deeply.

"Definite 10," she shrugged. Brittany pumped her fist in her air.

"Score!" They laughed together, the room was buzzing with excitement and energy.

"That was really sweet Brittany, thank you," Brittany smiled bashfully.

"You're welcome, you always sing for me, so I thought I'd return the favour. I was thinking about dancing for you but I don't know how I feel about giving you a lap dance in public," Brittany said, scrunching her nose. Santana raised her eye brow suggestively.

"Well, you could always give me one in private tonight, and tomorrow, and five years from now," Santana said with a smile.

"Five years? How can you be sure we're going to be together in five years?" Brittany asked. Santana only smiled and shrugged like it was the simplest thing in the world.

"Because we are soul mates, and no matter what happens, we're always going to be each other's other half." She said, intertwining their fingers together. "We're written in the stars, and even though we both have heart ache, we're each other stitches. As long as I love you, then we'll always end up together, until the end of time."

"Until the end of time" Brittany repeated.

"Until the end of time."

* * *

 _A/N **I Hope you liked it! I'll see you guys in the future and i hope you like all my other fics as much as you liked this one! Thanks again for reading! Laterz Skaterz! song used was - favourite girl by Icarus Account**_


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